Anonymous wrote:Ask my mom.. she has priorities other than me. She lives close and I maybe see her yearly at most.

I feel this comment! What are her priorities? Boyfriend? Beauty? Work? Curious here...
Is she a narcissist perhaps? Working theory here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.

I've seen this before it makes no sense. Is this some form of a "test" from a total narcissist? I wish someone could explain this to me...

I think my MIL has some narcissistic tendencies, but isn't a total narcissist. It's more that she saw her mother always have to be the one to reach out to the grandparents. And then when MIL was a young parent, the expectation was communicated very clearly that she had to do all the work of maintaining a relationship. Patterns repeating themselves and all that. So MIL expected that once her children were grown they would bear the burden of managing the relationship. Except they don't, and then MIL has these absolute hissy fits because her kids are conforming to how she imagined things would go. And her adult children just roll their eyes and say "The phone works both ways, Mom."

Anonymous wrote:My mom doesn't call often. On birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day (if I haven't called her first). Honestly that's about it.

We text daily, but neither of us are "phone people", and doesn't want to bother me when I'm busy with work, kids, etc. She says I'll call her when I have free time, which honestly is like once or twice a month.

We have a great relationship and this works for us.

This is not what people on this thread are talking about but also that sounds like a nice relationship.

DH’s mother has plenty of time to spend with her husband’s kids but doesn’t bother to call him and is short whenever he tries.

My mom doesn't call often. On birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day (if I haven't called her first). Honestly that's about it.

We text daily, but neither of us are "phone people", and doesn't want to bother me when I'm busy with work, kids, etc. She says I'll call her when I have free time, which honestly is like once or twice a month.

We have a great relationship and this works for us.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.

My MIL as well. It drives me bananas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.

I've seen this before it makes no sense. Is this some form of a "test" from a total narcissist? I wish someone could explain this to me...

Oh 100%. She's very passive aggressive. She definitely uses it as a test to see how much he "loves" her. It just makes him want to talk to her even less

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.

Exact same. Never picks up the phone, always complains about hearing things indirectly.

Anonymous wrote:Ask my mom.. she has priorities other than me. She lives close and I maybe see her yearly at most.

Sounds like she's friends with my mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.

I've seen this before it makes no sense. Is this some form of a "test" from a total narcissist? I wish someone could explain this to me...

Yes.

My mother never calls me and I always have to call. You have to keep demonstrating that they are the center of the universe and demonstrating how much you like them. It's a narc power play.

My mom is dead now but she rarely called me claiming she didn't know when I'd be available. I gave her several blocks of time throughout the week that I was generally available plus said to just call and if I couldn't talk, I'd call her back.

Ask my mom.. she has priorities other than me. She lives close and I maybe see her yearly at most.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.

I've seen this before it makes no sense. Is this some form of a "test" from a total narcissist? I wish someone could explain this to me...

I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.

Do you know a mother who doesn't call her grown adult children? How could a mother could/would go years without calling her children? Good kids.