Anonymous wrote:Kids remember what you do WITH them, not what you do FOR them, so it makes it easier if you focus on that.

That’s not true. It’s both.

We need to start normalizing "holiday foods" at other times so that there's not so much (anticipation, gluttony, disappointment, high stakes) for one or two meals a year.

As for me, I'm making a pumpkin pie this weekend! 'tis the season.

Special doesn't have to be about food. We do all apps chrismas eve. Pretty much raid TJs and add a few homemade things.
Make it easy, makenit what you want and if thsts not cooking all day, dont do it. Make a big pot of soup, bake rolls/bread. From scratch or not. Play boardgames, do charades or whatever you like.

I have lots of memories of my mom feeling stressed about holiday dinners and spending most of her time in the kitchen. It's not good memories. Ditch the dinner making. Buy it and don't look back.

Kids remember what you do WITH them, not what you do FOR them, so it makes it easier if you focus on that.

^ One example of what we do for Christmas dinner is grill steaks. I'll make the sides and DH grills.

I would NEVER make a dinner like that for 3 people at Christmas!! We love to go out to dinner, somewhere festive, on Christmas Eve (e.g. Old Ebitt Grill). Then I make a huge breakfast Christmas morning- but its easy like eggs, bacon, cinn rolls, fruit. We rotate what we do for Christmas dinner.

The memories are in the day spent together, not in mom being in the kitchen.

Makeit special by letting each member of the family pick one thing they want to be in one of the three meals. If it's something you cook rather than buy, teach them how to make it, not so that it becomes their job but just so they'll know how.

For everything else, do what's easy

Minimize the sides. We have a prime rib with asparagus, popovers and some other side that rotates. Our big dinner is Christmas Eve. It really only takes about 30 min longer than our regular dinners to cook. The special part other than the expensive meat is that we eat in the dining room with the entire take decorated, candles, crystal and china.

You also could do an appetizer dinner. My kids have fond memories of appetizer dinners where there’s mozzarella sticks and other kid appetizers.

I typically cook a Thanksgiving dinner at Christmas. During the pandemic with fewer guests, I switched to a roasted chicken and skipped the stuffing and multiple side dishes. If you are the ONLY cook, you get to make the decision. I am not willing to spend 2 days in the kitchen making all food “special”. Maybe ask your family which meal is MOST important and take it from there.

I cook sides in advance and freeze them. For example, mac and cheese freezes very well. You can also freeze many casseroles. Christmas cookies/cakes can be made well in advance and frozen. Cinnamon rolls can also be baked and frozen.

We make it fun for the kids by having Christmas baking/cooking weekends in December. They get to sample the delicious foods and they know the food will be frozen and thawed for the holidays.

Anonymous wrote:Keep thanksgiving the same.
Christmas eve, fun little plates. Shrimp cocktail, cheese plate, sparkling wine, olives, chocolate. Fun, festive, but zero prep involved.
Christmas day, breakfast is cinnamon roles, fruit and coffee/tea and orange juice. Or a make ahead egg casserole. Someone here will give you a good recipe.
Christmas dinner, switch up to a beef dinner. Simplify the sides and make steaks or some kind of roast. So much less fuss, different than before and paired with breakfast enough food for the day.

^^ rolls. Sorry! I'm going to start a new post but I have been having crazy word mix ups like this and I keep hoping its just menopause!

Keep thanksgiving the same.
Christmas eve, fun little plates. Shrimp cocktail, cheese plate, sparkling wine, olives, chocolate. Fun, festive, but zero prep involved.
Christmas day, breakfast is cinnamon roles, fruit and coffee/tea and orange juice. Or a make ahead egg casserole. Someone here will give you a good recipe.
Christmas dinner, switch up to a beef dinner. Simplify the sides and make steaks or some kind of roast. So much less fuss, different than before and paired with breakfast enough food for the day.

So don't cook and book rsvps for a nice meal put. I don't get the big deal.

I don’t know if this belongs here or in Family Relationships or what. Every year I make a “traditional” Christmas dinner. It’s a lot like Thanksgiving dinner except we have a meat other than turkey most years.

The thing is, I hate spending all of Christmas Day cooking, and my son and DH aren’t very helpful (even though they try to be). Our kitchen is also tiny, so it’s hard for more than one person to work there at a time. The dinner is usually just the three of us, or maybe we will have a couple of friends over, or a relative who happens to be in town.

I don’t have great memories from my childhood, and so I think I’ve convinced myself that it’s important for my son that he remember his mom making Christmas dinner. But it stresses me out every year. And him having childhood memories of mom being annoyed at cooking on Christmas isn’t exactly magical….

I’ll add that I’ve made this even more complicated for myself by preparing another big meal on Christmas Eve, plus feel like we need a nice breakfast that morning. I should probably do takeout on Christmas Eve and just have simple eggs and bagels or cinnamon rolls Christmas morning. But then I think, “it’s Christmas, it needs to be special” and then every year I overdo it again and am exhausted by the end of the next day.

How can I simplify this process so we still have a nice holiday but I’m not frustrated and overworked the day of?

I realize this is as much about my mindset as it is the food, but I think if I could make the food part simpler it would help.