As a sophmore in HS, one of DD's friends committed suicide. Because she did not reach out to an adult prior she felt guilty to the point that she self-medicated with alcohol. 7 years later she is now sober and in therapy. OP do not mess around with this. Get the roommate some help.

Anonymous wrote:Have your daughter ask about confidentiality. If the roommate is over 18, I would be shocked if the school would contact her parents without permission.

Also, if it feels like a crisis moment, as a bystander your daughter can call 988 and ask for advice.

Finally, is there an RA in the dorm that could help?

This is over the RA's pay grade.

My son's roommate (not in the dorm) was severely depressed, and I called his mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child needs to call the school office who handles this and have them deal with it.

THIS

Your school almost certainly has a counselling office staffed with folks trained to deal with these things.

Your kids should likewise consider speaking to someone as well.

Thanks. If the counselor asks DC to release the name and DC doesn’t want to. What should I do as a parent?

You tell them them the name why is this a question.

Have your daughter ask about confidentiality. If the roommate is over 18, I would be shocked if the school would contact her parents without permission.

Also, if it feels like a crisis moment, as a bystander your daughter can call 988 and ask for advice.

Finally, is there an RA in the dorm that could help?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child needs to call the school office who handles this and have them deal with it.

THIS

Your school almost certainly has a counselling office staffed with folks trained to deal with these things.

Your kids should likewise consider speaking to someone as well.

Thanks. If the counselor asks DC to release the name and DC doesn’t want to. What should I do as a parent?

Anonymous wrote:Your child needs to call the school office who handles this and have them deal with it.

THIS

Your school almost certainly has a counselling office staffed with folks trained to deal with these things.

Your kids should likewise consider speaking to someone as well.

Thank you everyone! I’ve suggested DC talk to school’ mental heath services. They will meet today. However, the situation is a little bit messy. DC feels can’t bring the name of the kid as the kid clearly doesn’t want school to know in fear of parents knowing. It seems that the parents are partly responsible for the kid’s mental status. They might have forced the kid to sign documents so they have full access to the kid’s records including medical. The kid is also financially dependent on the parents.

I don’t want DC to get too involved, but it seems switching dorms is out of the question now. And dc fears potential future regrets if distancing suddenly. I’m collecting options for DC as I have no experience, and keeping my fingers crossed a right decision will be made.

This is one secret she can't keep. Ask her to seek help from school's counseling staff for her friend as well as herself.

Also give her some extra money to have some good food to share with said friend and to go pet some animals at a nearby shelter.

The Signs of Suicide program in high schools teaches a useful acronym: ACT (Acknowledge-Care-Tell).

Your DD can:
-Acknowledge what she has seen in her friend in terms of behavior or mood (“I’ve noticed you seem really sad lately”)
-shows she Cares (“I’m worried about you”), and then
-Tell a trusted adult, even offering to go together (“There is a counseling service at the Health Center with therapists who really listen. I’m happy to go with you, if you’d like.”). If the friend won’t go willingly, your DD needs to tell someone anyway. There is too much silence around such things — and then it is too late.

Thinking of both of them.

Call the parents

This is also a massive burden on your child, and one your child is not equipped or trained to deal with in any way other than supportive friend. For the roommates sake, as well as your own child’s sake, your child needs to report this.

This is not a secret to keep. Please reach out to the resources at the school for help. If you have contact for his family, please give them the opportunity to support their child. Depression can cause distorted thinking & can be a slippery slope. Silence will not help him.

Your child needs to call the school office who handles this and have them deal with it.

DC’s freshman roommate in college is severely depressed and doesn’t want to seek help from adults (including own parents). DC feels being the only few mental support to this person and wants to help, but doesn’t know what to do. Any suggestions?