Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 11:15     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is your coparenting relationship? Can you sit down with his dad, make a list together of what activities are most important to both of you, and divide them up between Saturdays and Sundays?


No, that would mean both Saturday and Sunday are booked, which is the opposite of what I want! Alternating scheduled activities on Saturdays and Sundays might be OK but I doubt we can find tutors/classes that allow that.


You're being ridiculous. Most sport activities don't gaf about what you want. Schedule him for the sport or tutor he wants and he may have games or lessons on Sat or Sun. Coparent with his dad. It's not about you. Day trips are a thing of the past at age 12.


hmmm … maybe… not all kids are the same? I know that activity providers don’t GAF about what’s best for families (the person posting about their 12 yr old having sports practice until 10:30 pm!) That’s the whole issue. I don’t know if a one-hour tutoring session or swim lesson is worth scheduling our whole Sunday around.


Why is a 12 year old in a 1 hour a week swim lesson? What are they possibly getting from that?


Um … learning to swim? Getting exercise?
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 11:15     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is your coparenting relationship? Can you sit down with his dad, make a list together of what activities are most important to both of you, and divide them up between Saturdays and Sundays?


No, that would mean both Saturday and Sunday are booked, which is the opposite of what I want! Alternating scheduled activities on Saturdays and Sundays might be OK but I doubt we can find tutors/classes that allow that.


You're being ridiculous. Most sport activities don't gaf about what you want. Schedule him for the sport or tutor he wants and he may have games or lessons on Sat or Sun. Coparent with his dad. It's not about you. Day trips are a thing of the past at age 12.


hmmm … maybe… not all kids are the same? I know that activity providers don’t GAF about what’s best for families (the person posting about their 12 yr old having sports practice until 10:30 pm!) That’s the whole issue. I don’t know if a one-hour tutoring session or swim lesson is worth scheduling our whole Sunday around.


That's one issue but it's not the issue in this scenario. The scenario here presents a mom who wants to be free to do as she wants with her kid on the one weekend day she has him. She doesn't want to be bogged down with the kids activities. My advice to her is to change the custody plan. Kid needs to spend more time with Dad during the week and they can all alternate weekends. But to expect a kid to go without is not fair and not in their best interest. Dad can also accommodate all those things she wants her kid to have.


OP here. Go without what exactly? My particular kid isn’t super into any activity. If he expressed a desire to do an activity on Sundays I would fully support that. As it is he mainly wants to have fun with friends and go places on the weekend. The activities are mainly things that are important and he goes along with, but not some passion or hobby of his. Tutoring, swim lessons, stuff like that.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 10:28     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Don't most sports have 1-2 weekday practices and one weekend game? Seems like keeping the weekends free is not likely to be a solution here.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 10:13     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Is there a reason for the current custody schedule? As a PP said it will be easier to just alternate full weekends.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 08:59     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is your coparenting relationship? Can you sit down with his dad, make a list together of what activities are most important to both of you, and divide them up between Saturdays and Sundays?


No, that would mean both Saturday and Sunday are booked, which is the opposite of what I want! Alternating scheduled activities on Saturdays and Sundays might be OK but I doubt we can find tutors/classes that allow that.


You're being ridiculous. Most sport activities don't gaf about what you want. Schedule him for the sport or tutor he wants and he may have games or lessons on Sat or Sun. Coparent with his dad. It's not about you. Day trips are a thing of the past at age 12.


hmmm … maybe… not all kids are the same? I know that activity providers don’t GAF about what’s best for families (the person posting about their 12 yr old having sports practice until 10:30 pm!) That’s the whole issue. I don’t know if a one-hour tutoring session or swim lesson is worth scheduling our whole Sunday around.


Why is a 12 year old in a 1 hour a week swim lesson? What are they possibly getting from that?
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 08:56     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is your coparenting relationship? Can you sit down with his dad, make a list together of what activities are most important to both of you, and divide them up between Saturdays and Sundays?


No, that would mean both Saturday and Sunday are booked, which is the opposite of what I want! Alternating scheduled activities on Saturdays and Sundays might be OK but I doubt we can find tutors/classes that allow that.


You're being ridiculous. Most sport activities don't gaf about what you want. Schedule him for the sport or tutor he wants and he may have games or lessons on Sat or Sun. Coparent with his dad. It's not about you. Day trips are a thing of the past at age 12.


hmmm … maybe… not all kids are the same? I know that activity providers don’t GAF about what’s best for families (the person posting about their 12 yr old having sports practice until 10:30 pm!) That’s the whole issue. I don’t know if a one-hour tutoring session or swim lesson is worth scheduling our whole Sunday around.


That's one issue but it's not the issue in this scenario. The scenario here presents a mom who wants to be free to do as she wants with her kid on the one weekend day she has him. She doesn't want to be bogged down with the kids activities. My advice to her is to change the custody plan. Kid needs to spend more time with Dad during the week and they can all alternate weekends. But to expect a kid to go without is not fair and not in their best interest. Dad can also accommodate all those things she wants her kid to have.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 08:53     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is your coparenting relationship? Can you sit down with his dad, make a list together of what activities are most important to both of you, and divide them up between Saturdays and Sundays?


No, that would mean both Saturday and Sunday are booked, which is the opposite of what I want! Alternating scheduled activities on Saturdays and Sundays might be OK but I doubt we can find tutors/classes that allow that.


You're being ridiculous. Most sport activities don't gaf about what you want. Schedule him for the sport or tutor he wants and he may have games or lessons on Sat or Sun. Coparent with his dad. It's not about you. Day trips are a thing of the past at age 12.


hmmm … maybe… not all kids are the same? I know that activity providers don’t GAF about what’s best for families (the person posting about their 12 yr old having sports practice until 10:30 pm!) That’s the whole issue. I don’t know if a one-hour tutoring session or swim lesson is worth scheduling our whole Sunday around.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 08:50     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is your coparenting relationship? Can you sit down with his dad, make a list together of what activities are most important to both of you, and divide them up between Saturdays and Sundays?


No, that would mean both Saturday and Sunday are booked, which is the opposite of what I want! Alternating scheduled activities on Saturdays and Sundays might be OK but I doubt we can find tutors/classes that allow that.


You're being ridiculous. Most sport activities don't gaf about what you want. Schedule him for the sport or tutor he wants and he may have games or lessons on Sat or Sun. Coparent with his dad. It's not about you. Day trips are a thing of the past at age 12.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 08:39     Subject: Re:Weekend activities w shared custody

Too much on the kid. Keep Sundays activity free, so your son can relax…attend someone’s birthday party…etc. we’re blended and our now college age kid was always off on Sundays from any of the activities, except for an hour of Sunday school until 16. We follow the same lead with our own bio kids, Fridays and Sundays are activity free.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 08:25     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Anonymous wrote:We had a schedule like that last year. It was really hard, especially since there are multiple kids.

This year, we ended up moving to a schedule where the primary parent has them for the entire weekend every other weekend, and just for a meal on the weekends in between. So, both households have some Saturdays where they are driving all around, and some Sundays when they can relax or plan something with the family.


Yeah I’m actually wondering about that too, but that’s not immediately on the horizon.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 08:21     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

We had a schedule like that last year. It was really hard, especially since there are multiple kids.

This year, we ended up moving to a schedule where the primary parent has them for the entire weekend every other weekend, and just for a meal on the weekends in between. So, both households have some Saturdays where they are driving all around, and some Sundays when they can relax or plan something with the family.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 08:16     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Anonymous wrote:How is your coparenting relationship? Can you sit down with his dad, make a list together of what activities are most important to both of you, and divide them up between Saturdays and Sundays?


No, that would mean both Saturday and Sunday are booked, which is the opposite of what I want! Alternating scheduled activities on Saturdays and Sundays might be OK but I doubt we can find tutors/classes that allow that.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 07:38     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

How is your coparenting relationship? Can you sit down with his dad, make a list together of what activities are most important to both of you, and divide them up between Saturdays and Sundays?
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 07:20     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

Anonymous wrote:I share custody of my 12 year old son. I have him most of the school week but he spends half the weekend (until Sat evening) with his dad. That means his only full weekend day with me is Sunday. He’s at an age where activities with friends are really important and I also like to take him on outings. But we also want him to so some scheduled activities like swim lessons, tutoring, etc. I’m hesitant to schedule any of these on Sundays, but that may mean that all of the extras are crammed into the school week, which doesn’t seem ideal either.

Any thoughts?


Decide what is more important. Personally time with parent for me sounds more important. Kid needs to relax too!
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2024 07:04     Subject: Weekend activities w shared custody

I share custody of my 12 year old son. I have him most of the school week but he spends half the weekend (until Sat evening) with his dad. That means his only full weekend day with me is Sunday. He’s at an age where activities with friends are really important and I also like to take him on outings. But we also want him to so some scheduled activities like swim lessons, tutoring, etc. I’m hesitant to schedule any of these on Sundays, but that may mean that all of the extras are crammed into the school week, which doesn’t seem ideal either.

Any thoughts?