My 14-year-old 8th grader hangs out with his older 24-year-old brother after school and on weekends. His older brother teaches him how to play guitar and vocal lessons on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. On Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, his older brother trains him at tennis. His brother was a D1 tennis player, and he was also the lead singer & guitarist in a band. He only has two friends from school, and he does not hang out or does anything with them. His older brother was also the same way at that age, but that changed when he entered high school. He had lots of female friends. I suspect my younger son will do the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grader has very little social life, by choice. He’s very introverted and seems to get enough from sport practice/games (rec) and school. I try to get him to do an activity with friends once every 6 weeks or so. When he sees them he always has fun. Rides his bike most days solo. Doesn’t play group video games and only does solo ones on weekends. I used to worry more but he seems happy.

My kid is like this too, introverted and enjoys down time and likes seeing peers at sports, other structured activities, and school. I push him to initiate something with friends about once a month, and he enjoys it and knows it's important to maintain the friendships. The socializing is mainly sports at parks or walking to get ice cream or something. He's well liked by peers, and the peers get that he's a quieter person. He did some of the group chats for a bit but stopped all of that as it was too draining to keep up with.

My 16 yo is super social and extroverted but mutes most of the group chats. She also says she doesn’t do Snapchat streaks, just uses it to text a few friends who prefer snap or when she’s dating someone. He could always join but mute it like mine. She says it’s too much and everyone knows to tag her if important lol

Anonymous wrote:They all "hang out" online playing Fortnite.

This, which we don't let my kid play on school nights and he hates us for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grader has very little social life, by choice. He’s very introverted and seems to get enough from sport practice/games (rec) and school. I try to get him to do an activity with friends once every 6 weeks or so. When he sees them he always has fun. Rides his bike most days solo. Doesn’t play group video games and only does solo ones on weekends. I used to worry more but he seems happy.

My kid is like this too, introverted and enjoys down time and likes seeing peers at sports, other structured activities, and school. I push him to initiate something with friends about once a month, and he enjoys it and knows it's important to maintain the friendships. The socializing is mainly sports at parks or walking to get ice cream or something. He's well liked by peers, and the peers get that he's a quieter person. He did some of the group chats for a bit but stopped all of that as it was too draining to keep up with.

Mine is an only, is yours?

Yes boo

My 9th grader (only child) is extremely outgoing. In MS he would have a friend over every moment of the day if we let him. But with other obligations it was mostly just on weekends, and once or twice during the week a neighborhood friend would stop by.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grader has very little social life, by choice. He’s very introverted and seems to get enough from sport practice/games (rec) and school. I try to get him to do an activity with friends once every 6 weeks or so. When he sees them he always has fun. Rides his bike most days solo. Doesn’t play group video games and only does solo ones on weekends. I used to worry more but he seems happy.

My kid is like this too, introverted and enjoys down time and likes seeing peers at sports, other structured activities, and school. I push him to initiate something with friends about once a month, and he enjoys it and knows it's important to maintain the friendships. The socializing is mainly sports at parks or walking to get ice cream or something. He's well liked by peers, and the peers get that he's a quieter person. He did some of the group chats for a bit but stopped all of that as it was too draining to keep up with.

Mine is an only, is yours?

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grader has very little social life, by choice. He’s very introverted and seems to get enough from sport practice/games (rec) and school. I try to get him to do an activity with friends once every 6 weeks or so. When he sees them he always has fun. Rides his bike most days solo. Doesn’t play group video games and only does solo ones on weekends. I used to worry more but he seems happy.

My kid is like this too, introverted and enjoys down time and likes seeing peers at sports, other structured activities, and school. I push him to initiate something with friends about once a month, and he enjoys it and knows it's important to maintain the friendships. The socializing is mainly sports at parks or walking to get ice cream or something. He's well liked by peers, and the peers get that he's a quieter person. He did some of the group chats for a bit but stopped all of that as it was too draining to keep up with.

My 7th grader has very little social life, by choice. He’s very introverted and seems to get enough from sport practice/games (rec) and school. I try to get him to do an activity with friends once every 6 weeks or so. When he sees them he always has fun. Rides his bike most days solo. Doesn’t play group video games and only does solo ones on weekends. I used to worry more but he seems happy.

My now 10th grader rarely hung out with friends in middle school. He went to a handful of birthdays and might have hung out with friends once every other month. He has a much more active social life in high school.

My 8th grade son hung out a ton in 7th grade, maybe seeing friends 2-3x per week and must have gone to 20+ birthday parties. He has mellowed out and friend groups seem to be shifting. He hangs out once or twice a week. For a while, he played online and would meet in person. Now he doesn’t seem to play games online or meet people. He is very focused on his sports.

God, my 7th grade son is MUCH more social than his 9th grade sister was at his age. He is always making plans with his friends, and meeting up with them (he's able to do so on his bike, and his hang outs almost never require us to do anything).

He shares a phone with his siblings (it's bricked - only phone, text, google map), and he's able to make all his plans this way.

I know his friends from school hang out a lot online playing video games, but we don't allow that in our home.

DS just started MS. So far he has gone to a friends house and had a friend over a couple of times. He had a D&D session for his group over the weekend. He has a sleep over coming up this weekend. He has friends in his after school activities so he sees them there. Honestly, I expect it to be a lot like 6th grade. I am not sure if he will add kids to his circle now that he is meeting new kids at school and when he joins clubs.

I somewhat deliberately picked a location where kids walk to school and each other’s houses. My kid brings friends home maybe 2x/week? He’s just starting to play fortnite online with friends. He’s actually not a huge gamer and would rather see them in person. On the weekends there’s usually at least one friend who comes over and they hang out for several hours. I make an effort to do fun things with them (movies, etc). My kid is an only so I have the time/money to be proactive about hosting and he needs the company!

I will say that my kid seems less interested in video games than his friends. He always wants to go outside and they don’t. Wish I could help him find friends that are more oriented towards what he likes. I do sometimes kick them out of the house to go get themselves lunch or do an errand at the store.

They all "hang out" online playing Fortnite.

As often as possible with neighborhood friends.

Older sister and friends were far more likely to organize things, though, especially anything that required parental involvement. In my experience, boys plan less. And yes, I know this plays to stereotypes, but....

How often do they hang out with friends?