There are people who provide home aide services on their own rather than through an agency. A lot of them stick with one client as long as needed and then move on to the next. They often find clients by word of mouth if they’re good. I don’t know what the going rate is, but probably something above minimum wage but well less than you’re paying now. You might check Craigslist or run an ad there. That’s what one person I know did when they needed babysitters to supplement staff at a skilled nursing facility.

The fall risk business is something you have to evaluate individually. No place can prevent falls unless the person is completely restrained. How to decide whether to call an ambulance is not something that requires enormous training.

You have to be careful, but I’ve seen really great people giving really great private in home care.

Anonymous wrote:Why not hire someone who works for hourly wage. Humans have been taking care of elderly without training for centuries. Anyone kind and helpful is good enough, doesn't have to be a certified expert.

Uh. No.

I think that's the best you can do, because you really need one on one care. I doubt independent living would accept her without a private duty nurse, as well, so you might spend more and agitate her without better results or cost savings.

What happens in memory care is that the residents who stay in the room are supervised, but those who aren't will wander around (maybe be checked on once an hour or be looked at with cameras now and then) so falls do happen. Even the best ones will not guarantee no falls. Then medications can cause falls as well. So you either have to accept the falls, or hire a private duty nurse and then you're looking at memory care + private duty which is $$$$. The memory care places I am familiar with no not require private duty nurses, but it can be very stressful to deal with constant falls.

Anonymous wrote:Hi, Op here:

We tried several fall devices and she kept taking them off. The one time she fell with the device on, and it contacted someone, she told them she was fine. She didn’t want to “bother” anyone so she stayed on the floor until another relative came by.

Even though falls can still happen with someone there, they can remind her to use her walker and assess if she falls and determine if she needs medical care or just some help up.

We do pay hourly but it comes out to $6K a week. She definitely needs someone 24/hr with the meds, transportation, helping with drs appts, memory issues. She had an aunt that was a victim of elder abuse in a “home” and so she is terrified, absolutely terrified of assisted living/memory care. It literally gives her nightmares.

If she has the funds, what’s the problem?

Anonymous wrote:Why not hire someone who works for hourly wage. Humans have been taking care of elderly without training for centuries. Anyone kind and helpful is good enough, doesn't have to be a certified expert.

That is an hourly wage. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You need 3 people.

Hi, Op here:

We tried several fall devices and she kept taking them off. The one time she fell with the device on, and it contacted someone, she told them she was fine. She didn’t want to “bother” anyone so she stayed on the floor until another relative came by.

Even though falls can still happen with someone there, they can remind her to use her walker and assess if she falls and determine if she needs medical care or just some help up.

We do pay hourly but it comes out to $6K a week. She definitely needs someone 24/hr with the meds, transportation, helping with drs appts, memory issues. She had an aunt that was a victim of elder abuse in a “home” and so she is terrified, absolutely terrified of assisted living/memory care. It literally gives her nightmares.

Anonymous wrote:Why not hire someone who works for hourly wage. Humans have been taking care of elderly without training for centuries. Anyone kind and helpful is good enough, doesn't have to be a certified expert.

Not exactly. Elderly didn't use to live so long with so many problems. They often died with the first heart attack/bout of cancer, etc. You have to be properly trained to deal with fall risks and to deal with falls when they happen. It is cruel to hire someone who does not have the proper training and insurance because it's a liability. If someone falls, you don't just pick them up and prop them up. You have to assess for injury and make sure you don't firther injure the person by moving the person improperly. Also, someone who isn't trained could injure herself assisting an elder who falls. Do you want someone without a background check and training helping in the bathroom and shower when needed?

It would not be one live in. You do shifts. Nobody wants to work 24-7 even if there is down time. You have to offer fair wages, leave, and all the other stuff that comes with hiring employees. In the end you still spend a fortune. Have you looked into residential options?

OP, even if you found a live in, you could not require 24/7 care. They would need to sleep, leave the home, etc. and you would normally have to pay overtime. Does your parent really need 24/7 care? Would someone who lives there but provides care for an 8 hour shift work?


I would post your needs on care.com and screen very carefully.

fwiw, before my mom moved to assisted living, she had someone coming in 9-5, every day, at 30$/hr. This person helped her shower, dress, eat, kept the kitchen and bathroom tidy (but did not do deep cleaning), did laundry, and drove my mother to appointments and helped her with meals. When she left at night, my mom would have food set out on a plate, etc.
The difference is that my mom was not a fall risk. Now she is in assisted living and soon moving to memory care.

The problem with fall risk is that even with someone there (and even in assisted living) falls happen. You could get your parent an emergency button.

Anonymous wrote:Why not hire someone who works for hourly wage. Humans have been taking care of elderly without training for centuries. Anyone kind and helpful is good enough, doesn't have to be a certified expert.

I'm not the OP

What kind of hourly wage do you think OP would need to pay?
What will OP do if the hourly wage employee doesn't show up for the shift one day (sick, car accident, just bailed?)
How should OP find this hourly wage employee?

Why not hire someone who works for hourly wage. Humans have been taking care of elderly without training for centuries. Anyone kind and helpful is good enough, doesn't have to be a certified expert.

$6k/week is pretty standard.
Anyone you find for much less than that-there is probably a (not good!) reason.
You would find someone like that through word of mouth. Basically tell everyone you know (co-workers, other parents at your kid's school/activities, neighbors, etc.) that you are looking for a live in caregiver for your elderly parent.

PP and this was the breaking point for our very stubborn and increasingly cantankerous (now deceased) mom. She was quite used to living alone (dad died years before) in their longtime, huge home with winding stairs …until her congestive heart failure progressed and caused cognitive decline and balance issues.

We suddenly had to get her moved out and into skilled nursing to recuperate and manage her many, many meds.

Independent as in more like the equivalent of a babysitter?

Independent as in not licensed and or insured?

My concern would be that you in fact do need someone qualified and trained to care for the elderly to include 911 protocol, CPR certification, basic first aide. If your pate t falls on this sitter’s watch, what do you expect to happen?

Might be time to move your parent into skilled nursing.

My parent requires FT companion care due to major fall risk and not being able to manage meds or drive. She has some memory issues, otherwise she is doing well for her age.

Full time agency help is amounting to around $6000 a week. How much would it be to hire an independent live in instead? Wheee would I go to find someone like that?