Anonymous wrote:At what point did you determine you’d like to bring them along?

Trips seem to be planned so far in advance these days, how far out did you determine you wanted to bring them along? Ask their parents etc?

Not until after college


I don’t care that they slept together I want family time be. After college not as much .

Anonymous wrote:my college boyfriends parents included me on some fantastic vacations. it was awesome. I went to fancy places that I would never have dreamed of going on with my family and I still treasure some of those opportunities.

We bring our college aged daughters boyfriends on trips occasionally. Both have been dating for 2+ years.

My DS1's live-in GF came on a few trips with us. We were able to afford it, and we liked her and were happy to have her along. It seemed very weird to me to think about taking DS1 with us but not his partner. Of course, we asked him first if he wanted her to come. If he had said no, we would not have invited her.

They later broke up and he moved out, but I certainly do not begrudge those trips.

I look at it from the perspective of someone who played a big role in caring for ILs in their 90s--not day-to-day physical care, but helping to make sure their needs were met, helping to manage their finances, freeing up time for DH to visit them several times a week, etc. From this perspective: You never know which girlfriend is going to end up helping your child stay connected to his family or hindering that. You never know which one is going to end up raising your grandchildren. What is the downside to being welcoming and inclusive?

If ds is still dating his girlfriend this coming summer, we'll probably take her overseas to see my family if she wants to come (she probably will!). Dh and I dated young and my family included him before we were engaged. It makes sense to me.

We have done a compromise - taking our DS girlfriend to beach rentals and to NYC once, but not on trips that include flying and hotels.....

Never.

my college boyfriends parents included me on some fantastic vacations. it was awesome. I went to fancy places that I would never have dreamed of going on with my family and I still treasure some of those opportunities.

When I was 21, my parents invited me and my then-long term boyfriend on a trip to Vegas. They paid for our airfare and lodging and we paid for our food and everything else. At the time I thought it was so awesome! As a 40-something mom now looking back, I can see they just wanted to go on vacation with me, so they sweetened the pot to guarantee it happened.

Family trips are just that. Family only.

Anonymous wrote:Engaged or married. I don't take girlfriends on vacation.

This.

Girlfriends can visit at our DC or summer home, but they are not going on vacation with us until things are more official.

I took a few trips with my in-laws before marriage but it was like- join us at the beach house we rented (so no real extra cost and I stayed on a pull out).

Or I was invited to his cousins weddings as a plus one and went with my in-laws. I stayed in his sisters’ hotel room.

After we’d dated for 2 years my parents took dh on international trips and paid for his airfare and hotels.

Engaged or married. I don't take girlfriends on vacation.

I never went on trips with boyfriends. One came to my summer home once. And once my best platonic friend from high school visited.

My cousin went on a college look-see trip with her one grade older boyfriend. I thought it was nice of the boy's mom but also kind of weird.

I think young romances need a break. I wouldn't advocate for shared trips for couples until they are living together after college.

At what point did you determine you’d like to bring them along?

Trips seem to be planned so far in advance these days, how far out did you determine you wanted to bring them along? Ask their parents etc?