Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I limited them financially with a reasonable budget, which limited them physically.

In NY you could travel 10 hours away and still be at a SUNY school. Bet it's the same in other big states like CA and TX.

Cool story. We don’t live in those states.

Some of we do.

My three kids were highly encouraged to go to in-state public universities. They were clearly told they would have to take out loans if they wanted to leave the state. (My parents gave me the same option and the local school worked out very well.) One school is close enough where they can live at home if they went there. One kid is already attending that school and my high-schooler is likely to attend as well. The third kid chose a program not offered at the local school so he has to live on campus at the state flagship which doubles the cost (with room and board) of what I pay for the kid living at home. We would not be able to pay for all three kids living on campus.

Mine is about 6 hours away but the town has an Amtrak stop. It is so convenient and she actually comes home for long weekends fairly often. Much more relaxing than the long drive!

Yes, I don't want them living AT HOME necessarily, but be close enough to get back for a weekend if they need to.

Mine attend school 2 hours away and it’s amazing. They are just far enough away to feel away but the drive two and from is a breeze and they can come home whenever they want. It’s perfect. That being said, I didn’t put any distance limits on them, but I am happy they stayed close.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I limited them financially with a reasonable budget, which limited them physically.

In NY you could travel 10 hours away and still be at a SUNY school. Bet it's the same in other big states like CA and TX.

Cool story. We don’t live in those states.

💯 agree.
Really pushing my kids to apply to school closer to home.
The quandary comes when you were deciding between a nearby state Flagship, even if out of state and very well regarded, and an Ivy League school. What do you do?

DD wants to stay close to home for college, not because she’s afraid to leave, but because she’s very grounded, values her connections to extended family more than her thirst for freedom, and wants to go into policy work someday. She has friends and cousins who’ve made other choices for different reasons and she’s gotten lots of pressure to spread her wings. Maybe she will someday, but she has no desire to do so now, and I’m not going to force her. So far, she’s only looking at schools within an easy drive to DC but is excited to study abroad for a semester or so.

Anonymous wrote:I limited them financially with a reasonable budget, which limited them physically.

In NY you could travel 10 hours away and still be at a SUNY school. Bet it's the same in other big states like CA and TX.

*geographically

I limited them financially with a reasonable budget, which limited them physically.

I stayed near home for undergrad then had to move 4 hours drive away to get a job. Then again to go to grad school and get a much better paying job.

I am sending my kid to a selective state flagship. He may also have to move away to pursue a career. Many young grads from his school leave the state.

My mother thought she was just the absolute Best Parent Ever, while I knew I had to get far away as soon as possible for my mental health.

DS chose St John’s in Annapolis. I love having him so close! Mostly it just feels good to have him close in case something happens, though I drive down every month or so and have lobster rolls with him.

I don't necessarily hope DC stays in the same city, but I am starting to hope they choose a place within reasonable driving distance. My sense is that going far away to college is a badge of distinction/rite of passage in our US culture (I get the sense it's different in Europe and Asia). I can understand this sentiment if you live in the middle of nowhere, but this seems to apply to kids in major metropolitan areas as well, where plenty of good colleges are nearby.

Then people get jobs and settle down close to where they attend college or graduate school due to connections, and that means that families get town apart geographically. Kids don't get to know their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. very well, and there isn't a family support network. I went across the country for college without thinking about it, and I'm not sure it was the right move. I would have been equally successful had I stayed near home, and it was incredibly hard to be so far from my dad when he passed from cancer. It was also sad not to have my mom nearby during my kid's earliest years and I wish I knew my nieces and nephews better.

It's ultimately my kid's decision and I won't stand in their way if their dream school is in California. But most kids don't think about how much proximity matters when they are young, or realize how important these factors will be later on in their lives. How important is/was geography to your family in selecting colleges?