Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have POA. How do I shut it down, quickly and aggressively? I know which bank she uses, but not if/how much cash she has on hand, what credit cards she has, or anything else. If I ask her for details, she will shut down and refuse to give me any information. How do I proceed then? Asking very seriously for specific guidance on the steps I should take right now.

If you have a POA, you should have all of this information. Take the paperwork and your mother to the bank and shut this down.

If she has an iPhone, change the settings to have her share her location with her or sign up for life 360. My friend did this for her widowed, elderly father and it was from tracking him that she discovered he had fallen for one of those IRS scams because he was repeatedly going to Fedex over several days. He lost $750,000 but it could have been much more if she hadn't discovered it in time to shut it down.

Now it could be gift cards but next it could be worse.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you all. I just went to the bank with the POA paperwork - it is apparently not sufficient (I do not have the original copy and she did not add us as POA as she had told us she would). Police who reached out to us they could not do anything besides the heads up they gave us. So I am stuck...will talk with sibling about other options (attorney, etc).

I would also consider reaching out to anyone else she’s close to - friends, former colleagues, clergy. Ask for their advice and their help. It may be harder to admit the problem to one of your children. She may be mad at you, and that’s okay.

Once you get POA, get access to her bank account online. Limit the ammount she has in it -- put the rest in an account only you control. She can't spend thousands if her bank accoutn has only hundreds!

I think you will need to fly to wherever she is and wheedle her into signing the rest of the POA. Continue to check with the bank and your lawyer to make sure you have everything before you ask your mother. You need to cover all possible bases and beyond. Banks can be hugely irritating about this.

While you're at her house, maybe when she's sleeping, take pictures of all her medical and financial information, and purloin pieces as needed.

OP here - thank you all. I just went to the bank with the POA paperwork - it is apparently not sufficient (I do not have the original copy and she did not add us as POA as she had told us she would). Police who reached out to us they could not do anything besides the heads up they gave us. So I am stuck...will talk with sibling about other options (attorney, etc).

Meet with her bank and switch her from a credit card to a debit card and have a cap placed on how much can be withdrawn. Sadly, if she is resisting talking with you about it and accepting that she has been scammed then I would be very concerned about her mental capabilities.

And so it begins...

SHUT it down now it you have POA.

I would walk your POA into the bank branch and ask their advice. You could also ask your police contact for their advice. If there was a lawyer involved in the POA, or if you have a lawyer otherwise, call them and ask for help. I would call anyone in your network who might know an appropriate lawyer locally as well. Basically, start working your phone.

If you have POA does bank know? Call them and find out about withdrawals. Explain scam.

(I absolutely recognize that I have to act, btw! I am in a bit of a panic over this - I know she will think we are overreacting and trying to control her and she will become completely secretive and uncooperative, so I need to plan this out before I act.)

Yes, I have POA. How do I shut it down, quickly and aggressively? I know which bank she uses, but not if/how much cash she has on hand, what credit cards she has, or anything else. If I ask her for details, she will shut down and refuse to give me any information. How do I proceed then? Asking very seriously for specific guidance on the steps I should take right now.

You have POA?

Shut it down.

I don’t know what else you could possibly need to convince you to act quickly and aggressively It’s okay if she’s mad at you.

Ugh. So sibling and I just got a call from the police in my mother's town (different part of the country from both of us) because she tried to buy a large dollar amount of gift cards at a big box store (fortunately the store has a policy to alert police when an elderly person tries to do this, and fortunately the police somehow found contact information for me and my sibling).

My mother is in her 80s and lives alone - she's healthy and seems to have no obvious cognitive decline thus far. We talked with her and she confirmed that she has been using gift cards to fund a "really good investment" which is clearly a scam. We tried to explain this, pointed her to numerous online resources, and encouraged her to test whether this "investment" was legit by trying to withdraw about half of what she supposedly has in her account, but she does not believe us and thinks this is all legit. We do not know (she will not tell us) how much she has sent to these people so far.

Both sibling and I have a financial POA for her, but we want to be discreet as she is at least telling us some information now (very defensively) and we worry that if we start pushing she will start to hide what she's doing financially.

I honestly have no idea where to start with this. Any advice welcome.