Anonymous wrote:OP here, I should add I am 31 and I'm starting to get scared. I don't want to be single but even I am (clearly, if I am posting here) starting to realize it might be time to call it quits and go back to being single, even at 31

You are young, get out now. I wish someone had told me I was young at 31 instead of marrying the guy didn’t want to marry and hunting up divorced 10 years later with two kids.

You can start over this weekend. End it. Don’t look back.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you need to be around a man who is okay with you being a deadbeat.

OP is paying for dinner - and evidently something tonight if she made this post - and he feels the need to tell her "next round is on you" and you think SHE is the deadbeat??? Spoken like a true man.

Sounds like you need to be around a man who is okay with you being a deadbeat.

This won't get better. Time to break up. It will be ok OP. Truly. He sounds like a selfish, bean counting drag.

Anonymous wrote:How old are you both, OP?

He sounds annoying. Just cut him loose. It won’t get better.

I am 31, he is 37. He's generally not annoying, but yeah, this is a fairly recent development (he just started doing it within the last month) and I find it tacky. Again, I don't think men should pay for everything, but I would never go on a date with a guy, pay for dinner, and say "Okay! Next round is on you!" which is what he did when we went to dinner tonight. (And, again, I paid for dinner out last night, so it's not like he is NEVER being treated to dinner by me.)

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I should add I am 31 and I'm starting to get scared. I don't want to be single but even I am (clearly, if I am posting here) starting to realize it might be time to call it quits and go back to being single, even at 31

Better now than 2, 3, 5 years from now. Better now than after kids. 31 is still young enough. Would you want to raise kids in all his negativity? That ish is hard enough already.

You’ve only been with him a year. You don’t seem compatible. Move on.

How old are you both, OP?

He sounds annoying. Just cut him loose. It won’t get better.

OP here, I should add I am 31 and I'm starting to get scared. I don't want to be single but even I am (clearly, if I am posting here) starting to realize it might be time to call it quits and go back to being single, even at 31

Anonymous wrote:Ugh what a turnoff.

OP, any other problematic traits? There have to be others.

Yes. Really the worst of it is that he is one of the most negative human beings I have ever met. For example, his birthday was a couple weeks ago and when he called me after work I was like "Happy birthday!" and his response was "I'm 37 and old and life has no meaning anymore." Wtf?

He just always has something negative to say about his own life, society at large (he literally thinks America is ending and will cease to exist in the next ten years...) or others.

The other is that he is constantly giving feedback when I don't want feedback and am just venting. For example I will say "Ugh, my boss was so rude today about XYZ" and instead of saying "that sucks I'm sorry" he will say "You should ask her about ABC" (which 9 times out of ten I already have, I am just venting). Although in fairness to him, this is a male trait in general, I think?

Dump him

Ugh what a turnoff.

OP, any other problematic traits? There have to be others.

Anonymous wrote:"Bob, can I talk to you about something that is bothering me?"
"Sure."
"It really upsets me when you tell me to pay for something while we are literally out at the restaurant. I think that I do a pretty good job of offering to chip in, and I would never demand you pay for something."

Okay this would be fine but tbh Bob sounds kinda passive-aggressive if he's telling a woman "you're paying for this" when they are physically in the restaurant lol. OP, I would just say no.

"Bob, can I talk to you about something that is bothering me?"
"Sure."
"It really upsets me when you tell me to pay for something while we are literally out at the restaurant. I think that I do a pretty good job of offering to chip in, and I would never demand you pay for something."

My boyfriend of just under a year has started telling me "I'll let you get this" or "Next round is on you" when we are out. To be clear, I am NOT the type of person who expects a man to pay for everything. If we are nickel and diming each other, I paid $200 for dinner last week and paid for a dinner last night (because I was the one who wanted to go out and picked the restaurant, so I offered to pay). It bothers me because I would never say to him, after paying for dinner, "Okay, next round is on you" because that just seems rude. Thoughts?