Anonymous wrote:Her youngest is 6 or 7. So going to school for a trade would be a challenge. She was in school and I think she couldn’t afford it plus all the costs at home. So could never pull herself out of poverty. Just scraping by.

It just sucks.

Look up trades where she is, many offer apprentice pay while learning and the programs are run by states, counties and cities. Things like plumbing, electrical work, HVAC training, etc. can provide solid middle class wages.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would offer a food delivery or send a gift card to the local cheaper grocery store.

And, some back to school new clothing for the kids.

This is a good idea. Maybe a gift card for target or something. Back to school clothes and supplies

Her youngest is 6 or 7. So going to school for a trade would be a challenge. She was in school and I think she couldn’t afford it plus all the costs at home. So could never pull herself out of poverty. Just scraping by.

It just sucks.

Anonymous wrote:I would offer a food delivery or send a gift card to the local cheaper grocery store.

And, some back to school new clothing for the kids.

I would offer a food delivery or send a gift card to the local cheaper grocery store.

Doesn’t the Bible say “don’t give them fish, teach them to fish”. Skill building is the only thing that will break the cycle.

These people seem to lack making a plan that will sustain them long term. Maybe help there- what are her skills? What are his skills and why can't he keep something steady? Can you offer help in getting her or him into a vocational type training program that will help either or both gain valuable employment?

What's the point of living in the city if there are no opportunities. Does she even want help?

How old are the kids?

Does she work? What is her career field?

Does she have good money management?

The best way you could help would be to get a job and increase her stable income. That is, if she has good money management.

What is the root cause of her issue?

Is it lack of time to search for better jobs? With an underemployed DH, does he contribute in anyway?

Is it poor health?

Is it poor decision making?

You can throw money at the most urgent problems, but for her to get to a place of stability, you need to know the root cause and be able to address that.

I would offer to pay for a mother's helper, babysitter or housecleaner for a few months. Many of the people I know in situations like yours have time issues. They have trouble working and finding better jobs because of household duties, like cleaning the house, doing laundry (especially for 7 people!), cooking, or childcare (often the most important).

If you can get someone to come in, maybe 3 afternoons a week for like 4 hours each time, to help with keeping the household running and the children cared for, it becomes easier to both work jobs and find work. It's hard to find jobs with flexibility and also hard to even job search when all of your time is spoken for every day of every week.

So, while it is throwing money at the situation, it is doing so in a calculated manner to try and help her help herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Offer to pay for birth control? This sounds like a problem she caused by having so many kids to be honest. Is she just sweet? Because having five kids doesn't make someone a good person - its not good for the environment and doesn't sound like she's able to do much for them if she and her husband are out of work a lot.

Oh, shut up. You're an idiot. What kind of advice is this?

It's advice to keep from making a bad situation worse.

Anonymous wrote:Offer to pay for birth control? This sounds like a problem she caused by having so many kids to be honest. Is she just sweet? Because having five kids doesn't make someone a good person - its not good for the environment and doesn't sound like she's able to do much for them if she and her husband are out of work a lot.

Oh, shut up.

You're an idiot. What kind of advice is this?

Offer to pay for birth control? This sounds like a problem she caused by having so many kids to be honest. Is she just sweet? Because having five kids doesn't make someone a good person - its not good for the environment and doesn't sound like she's able to do much for them if she and her husband are out of work a lot.

My cousin is a really good person. She's had some tough economic times (lives in a city without many opportunities). Has several kids and is struggling to make ends meet. She's working several part time jobs and has five kids.

I feel really sad for her and I wish i could do something to help. (besides send her $$. i would like to help her get on her feet. find a job that could support her and her family).

She's married - but i get the impression the husband is between jobs a lot.

Again, she's a really good person, smart, kind, and enormous heart.

What can i do? Or should I stay out of it?