This is something i haven't really thought of but if i had to choose it would probably be one of my cousins or a close friend since i can't choose my only sibling.

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny. DH’s family is all overseas, and I had our kids at 39 and 41 and my only sibling is 8 years older. If we picked my sister then our kids would be at a high risk of not only losing both parents before 18 but then also losing their replacement guardian at a youngish age. Nanny is late-20’s and single but she loves them like her own and would make sure that our family is in their lives but she would also be able to be there for them for decades to come after their extended family have died or succumbed to dementia.

And yes we talked to nanny about it and also talked to extended family and explained our reasoning and they were all understanding and supportive.

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny. DH’s family is all overseas, and I had our kids at 39 and 41 and my only sibling is 8 years older. If we picked my sister then our kids would be at a high risk of not only losing both parents before 18 but then also losing their replacement guardian at a youngish age. Nanny is late-20’s and single but she loves them like her own and would make sure that our family is in their lives but she would also be able to be there for them for decades to come after their extended family have died or succumbed to dementia.

Weird

Our nanny. DH’s family is all overseas, and I had our kids at 39 and 41 and my only sibling is 8 years older. If we picked my sister then our kids would be at a high risk of not only losing both parents before 18 but then also losing their replacement guardian at a youngish age. Nanny is late-20’s and single but she loves them like her own and would make sure that our family is in their lives but she would also be able to be there for them for decades to come after their extended family have died or succumbed to dementia.

friends and definitely asked first

Very rich cousins - of course it was discussed with them.

My SIL. Yes, we asked her.

Agree with PP about staying local. Initially it was an out of state sister but have since switched to my best friend who lives in the same city. God forbid this needed to happen, uprooting their entire lives on top of losing parents would just be horrific. We asked her before changing the will.

Dear friends with a daughter a number of years older than ours, who we see as good parents. Our siblings are too unstable and grandparents are too old to do an adequate job of nurturing our child the way we'd hope for her.

Sister and yes we discussed

Cousins that live down the street and then my niece if cousins are unable to do it. We discussed it. Our siblings all live far out of state (like 2K miles away) and I wanted the kids to have as much normalcy. The kids also barely know our siblings (haven't seen them in years vs cousins they see multiple times a month). This way they could remain in the same schools and everything.

My sister and yes we discussed it with her. I'm also guardian for her kids.

Sister and brother-in-law (mom's only sib)

Yes, I did discuss it with them. You need to specify someone who is willing and able. If they are not, the court will have to find domeone else.

I have changed the will a couple of times. When my kid was a baby, I asked a friend with a couple of kids, because I needed someone could just raise my kid to adulthood as part of a family. When my child was in elementary school, I switched the specification of guardianship to the grandparents, who already had a close relationship with my child, but who probably could not have handled the baby and toddler years. In the last two years of high school, I'll switch again and ask friends who live near the school.

And did you discuss with them?