I do not understand the birthday text thing. I hate on my birthday getting random texts from people as I then feel obligated on my birthday to respond to these people AND I have to remember to send them one on their birthday.

This is like chain mail for adults. It’s stupid!

Anonymous wrote:I hate when sibs expect you to buy their kids presents but can't even bother to send your a card. I struggle with this because I like my newphews/nieces and know they enjoy being remembered.

But sometimes I feel like the 'sucker' in the family but I realize this is a me problem.

I could have written this. I get my nieces a gift every year. /my sister talks about sending my kids a gift. But never does. Two of our kids were actually due the same day and she still can't remember.

Please clarify: Is your DH sending happy birthday wishes or sending a present/money? If he is sending a gift and the aunts and uncles don’t reciprocate with even a “Happy Birthday” message, I would just stop.

Do YOU forget their birthdays? If not, who cares? Acknowledge your own family and stop expecting others to shower you with gifts.

Anonymous wrote:I hate when sibs expect you to buy their kids presents but can't even bother to send your a card. I struggle with this because I like my newphews/nieces and know they enjoy being remembered.

But sometimes I feel like the 'sucker' in the family but I realize this is a me problem.

OP did not say this.

I remember the months but not which days of my niece and nephew's birthdays. I barely remember my own birthday - several times I've gotten my age wrong too.

I hate when sibs expect you to buy their kids presents but can't even bother to send your a card. I struggle with this because I like my newphews/nieces and know they enjoy being remembered.

But sometimes I feel like the 'sucker' in the family but I realize this is a me problem.

Ask your husband why he thinks they forget. He's known them their whole life so he'll have more insight than anyone else.

We have the same thing in my family and it makes me sad too, OP. I always remember everyone in my family and my spouse’s family’s bdays and at the very least send a text or make a phone call but for nieces and nephews we always send something. Sometimes it’s just a card with a nice note, sometimes if I can think of a good gift we send a gift too but I don’t force the gift if I can’t think of a good one. Anyway, the day is always acknowledged.

But this is not reciprocated for me, my spouse, or my kids when our bdays come around.

I’m not a big birthday person but it just doesn’t seem that hard to do. We have a small family so there aren’t that many bdays to remember and it’s so easy to at least send a text

I tell my siblings when a birthday is coming up. No big deal.

So what?

I don't send my nieces and nephews birthday greetings. I know the general month of their birthdays but it's not a big deal to me. I also don't expect spontaneous birthday greetings for my own kids from outside the household. If I want family to celebrate a birthday, I will host an event and invite them. Some years I do this, and others I don't, depending on schedules and whether or not the kids (now teens) want a party.

My sister and I decided early on not to deal with birthdays for each other’s kids. We are all fine. We aren’t close, but we are fine. The reality is that some years we have done stuff for our niece on my husband’s side since we live a lot closer, but it probably hasnt been every year. I don’t even know — my husband handles his family. Other than having a general sense of what month it is, I have no idea when my nieces and nephews birthdays are.

Your kids don’t care. Your DH is doing whatever he wants. You just have to let it go.

Stop being needy.

My DH has two sisters, each of whom have two kids apiece. DH always acknowledges their birthdays.
They almost always forget our kids' birthdays.
I don't get it. It makes me sad. My kids don't care. I don't stew on it, but...I notice it. (Yes, yesterday was my DD's birthday.)
Anyhow. I guess here is a safe place to put my vent.