Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the executor and the house is probably about 40 percent of the estate. We haven’t started probate yet as we’ve trying to give sibling time to sort themselves out, grieve, figure out job…

Sibling seems to think parent would have wanted me to leave home available for as long as needed. I’ve been trying to be reasonable and don’t want to have to evict my sibling, but by the same token, having this hanging over me and my family is stressful because anything could go wrong with the home, and we’d have to then deal with it. I’m just ready to be done with this and move on. Is a year too short?

Are you the only two siblings? Give the sibling the house plus 10% and you take the rest. Easy peasy.

Yep. Tell sibling they have had a year, and now it's time to go to probate. Tell them house + 10% and you're done.

This sibling is going to string you along otherwise, unfortunately. Clearly they want to live in the house forever, and split the remaining 60% of the estate. That isn't acceptable.

21:21 person here

Most likely the "things" in the house have no to very low value.

I'd get a quote to haul the "things" to a storage unit and let your brother rent the storage unit.

Otherwise have several quotes from auction houses to haul things off.

After a year you need to start pressing the brother

schedule 4 realtors to do walk throughs, let your siblings know the days and time if they want to be present

schedule 1 or 2 auction houses to come out and have them quote you a cost to haul everything off

scheduled several contractors to come out to get estimates on what realtors suggested

give brother 45 days to clear out or if he wants to buy out the house from you and sibling retain a lawyer to make that happen

Start pressing--this stuff does not get better with time

Anonymous wrote:I am the executor and the house is probably about 40 percent of the estate. We haven’t started probate yet as we’ve trying to give sibling time to sort themselves out, grieve, figure out job…

Sibling seems to think parent would have wanted me to leave home available for as long as needed. I’ve been trying to be reasonable and don’t want to have to evict my sibling, but by the same token, having this hanging over me and my family is stressful because anything could go wrong with the home, and we’d have to then deal with it. I’m just ready to be done with this and move on. Is a year too short?

One year is plenty long enough. Move forward with a sale or buyout.

Mom passed April 21. I thought I'd be in the house several months clearing it out. Sister pressed for sale. Within 30 days we had a large waterfront home cleared out, painted the rough areas, cleared out the garage, talked to 4 realtors, listed for sale, got 3 offers and sold the house. It was a shock to my system and and the last week I stayed at the Hampton Inn finishing things up as their was no furniture in the house.

It can be done.

Who is paying the utilities and paying to prep the house for sale? Who is paying for lawncare and upkeep? Is he paying rent to the other siblings?

You offer to sell the house to them, they pay rent, utilites and upkeep, split taxes, or if they say no, you hire an attorney and force a sale.

Anonymous wrote:I am the executor and the house is probably about 40 percent of the estate. We haven’t started probate yet as we’ve trying to give sibling time to sort themselves out, grieve, figure out job…

Sibling seems to think parent would have wanted me to leave home available for as long as needed. I’ve been trying to be reasonable and don’t want to have to evict my sibling, but by the same token, having this hanging over me and my family is stressful because anything could go wrong with the home, and we’d have to then deal with it. I’m just ready to be done with this and move on. Is a year too short?

Are you the only two siblings? Give the sibling the house plus 10% and you take the rest. Easy peasy.

I will add that we also have been unable to clean out any of my parent’s things. Sibling wants to keep or rehome almost all of them on an almost one thing at a time basis and is angry that I want to mass donate to goodwill or the landfill. So it feels completely like we are all stuck and unable to get closure, neither financially nor emotionally, because of this situation. And when we try to explain this we are accused of being unsupportive and mean and that “this isn’t what parent would have wanted you to do to me. Parent would have wanted/expected you to take care of me like parent did by letting me land here whenever I needed to.”

I don’t want to wreck this relationship but it is starting to feel impossible.

I am the executor and the house is probably about 40 percent of the estate. We haven’t started probate yet as we’ve trying to give sibling time to sort themselves out, grieve, figure out job…

Sibling seems to think parent would have wanted me to leave home available for as long as needed. I’ve been trying to be reasonable and don’t want to have to evict my sibling, but by the same token, having this hanging over me and my family is stressful because anything could go wrong with the home, and we’d have to then deal with it. I’m just ready to be done with this and move on. Is a year too short?

What is the estate worth without the house and what is the house worth?

Sib can buy your share out. If you're on good terms and sympathetic give them the best deal you can.

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to continue having a relationship with this sibling/what is your relationship like? I'd be willing to be more empathetic.

Wait, saw it's been a year. Sit down and make a timeline.

Do you want to continue having a relationship with this sibling/what is your relationship like? I'd be willing to be more empathetic.

Tell sib that realtors are coming over to talk about listing the house to close the estate. Schedule some realtors to come over and meet with you. Tell sib the times.

Meet with the realtors.

List the house and start showing it.

Are you the personal rep or executor?

Sib either buys the others out LIKE NOW, or house gets listed and monies distributed.

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer up. Who is executor? Is it in probate? Whose name is the house in?
Sib moves, house sells, assets divided.

This. Or sib buys out the other siblings now.

Lawyer up. Who is executor? Is it in probate? Whose name is the house in?
Sib moves, house sells, assets divided.

Trying to get a read on what’s fair here. Long and the short of it is 40 year old sibling was living in parent’s home when parent died. Because sibling was living there, sibling did take care of parent for about 3-4 months.

Sibling has had this current well paying job for about 6 years, before that was in and out of work, with housing paid for by employer or living with parent or friends. So never had reason to find own place. Did not pay rent and deceased parent’s account is now paying for carrying costs.

Will divided estate equally across siblings. What’s fair here? Sibling neither wants to move (long story, but job is unstable) nor buy out full ownership even though they have the savings to do so. Wants others to wait until some undetermined time - maybe another year or two - when sibling expects to be more stable in work/life.

Has anyone else had this issue? What did you do? Want to do the right thing but also would like to close estate and distribute funds. It’s been about a year now. TIA.