OP here. He’s been here less than a year.
He’s sort of ok right now (though tough to live with because he is still capable of doing some things but refuses.)

My husband really should not have brought him here but had good intentions.His dad had good care at home. He has no friends here and just us as family. I have kids to shuttle to activities and I’d like to visit friends and family but I can’t now. He leaves faucets running and doesn’t lock doors. He can’t hear but doesn’t want hearing aides so communicating is difficult.

We have a family vacation coming up but his dad can’t go so I’m staying home now which is pretty frustrating.

I’m just looking down the road a year or two when I probably fall apart and and need options. Because he has no assets and won’t have the 5 year residency, I am just feeling overwhelmed. Paying $6,000-$10,000 a month for care is not something we can swing long term.

There are small, assisted living care homes in residential neighborhoods that exist, if you want a more homelike environment, as opposed to those huge facilities. They are all private pay as medicaid doesn't pay for assisted living. When my mother moved into one in 2021, the monthly fee was 5K for a private room. This is in Montgomery county. You can contact your local department of aging to get a list of these care homes.

It may be worth checking with an immigration lawyer and/or an elder law lawyer (NAELA has a directory for the latter) to see what the options are. NILC has a good publication on public benefits for immigrants but it's so complicated it may be hard to navigate on your own.

You could hire help to take care of him in your house.

Anonymous wrote:You can get a chair for the stairs and some help at home to hold out a bit. For Medicaid he would have to go to a full nursing home not assisted living. They can be very restrictive.

Some states pay for assisted living and other care arrangements, some states like MD only pay for full nursing care.

It's going to be cheaper to move, build an addition for him, etc.

You can get a chair for the stairs and some help at home to hold out a bit. For Medicaid he would have to go to a full nursing home not assisted living. They can be very restrictive.

Anonymous wrote:My wife's great grandmother with advanced Alzheimers was accepted in the Hebrew Home in Rockville as a green card holder.

How long did she have her green card? I imagine at least 5 years?

Anonymous wrote:Would he qualify for long term care medicaid for a nursing home? Long term care medicaid has different rules than regular medicaid.

Same rules - 5 years with green card to qualify.

What state?

Try victory housing. They are Catholic. More like 6K than 12K.

My wife's great grandmother with advanced Alzheimers was accepted in the Hebrew Home in Rockville as a green card holder.

Would he qualify for long term care medicaid for a nursing home? Long term care medicaid has different rules than regular medicaid.

How long has he had a green card? I think it has to be 5 years before he can qualify for Medicaid, yes? Regardless, assisted living facilities are always private pay, at least in MD. The group homes are less expensive; you can always call one of those placement agencies like Owl Be There to see if there is one within your budget.

You might look into an adult day care program.

I was born in the US and my husband has been here for over 20 years. His father came here on a green card because it just wasn't safe in his home country and things like electricity were becoming harder to rely on. He was in good health but once he got here, my husband saw he had deteriorated fairly quickly since the last time he saw him fairly recently.
He is staying with us right now but I see a time in the next year or so where he may not be able to handle the stairs and might need more help.
We did not expect this.

He has very little money (he's highly educated and had a good career but the exchange rate means his money isn't worth much here). We can afford to support him at our house but if he needs 24/7 care at a facility, it will be tough.

Do we have any options? He is only a green card holder at this point and I don't think he qualifies for Medicare. We are paying for health insurance.
Can he qualify for any assisted living if he has no real assets?

We could contribute but I don't think we could swing the entire amount.