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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working through the parental controls takes time and effort. Most kids I see have no meaningful controls. Parents just hand them a phone. So I am guessing that parents use “kids could get around it” as a reason not to put the work in. Yes, it’s true that kids can get around *some* controls (with time and effort and usually evidence you can see), but I don’t buy into the notion that you therefore hand them an iPhone and say good luck. For example, our child was using phone too late in the evening despite Apple setting to shut it down. (Our child wasn’t changing the time zone but, for a while, the control wasn’t working.). I knew this because I monitor when child was using phone. Our solution was to remove phone physically from child at the appointed time. It takes work. Most parents find handing their child a phone is convenient FOR THEM; they can coordinate with kid, kid stops whining, etc. And when convenience is a drive, the effort to work on parental controls and monitoring usage, etc, takes a backseat. It’s pretty amazing to me that in our hyper educated affluent little bubble the kids are running pretty wild with phones and most parents seem to shrug it off.

Parents buy their kids phones, are not willing to lift a finger to restrict access and then scream about phones being a menace that the schools must take away.

We do not give our children phones until 8th grade. We are extreme outliers. And we fully restrict access; no web, no social media, etc. And I FULLY support banning phones in school. So disagree.

At least in part, other parents choices of allowing no limits on phones means my children are getting less out of the school day. Teachers spend way too much time policing phone usage instead of teaching my kids. Other kids aren’t socially engaged because they are playing games on their phone so my children have less interaction. Then there is the whole bullying/social media world to potentially impact my child.

Moreover, it is proven that phones are highly addictive, especially to teenage brains. There are all kinds of negative influences that schools don’t allow but some parents allow to differing degrees at home. Video games, movies, junk food. We haven’t let Starbucks open up a shop in our public HS either because we don’t believe letting kids drink lattes all day is good for them or a healthy contribution to an academic environment.

Finally how could you possibly monitor inappropriate usage by your child at school? My child loves ESPN. He checks it. Does checking ESPN constitute inappropriate usage? If it’s during a teachers lesson, yes. If class ended early and he’s finished his work or whatever then no.

Anonymous wrote:Working through the parental controls takes time and effort. Most kids I see have no meaningful controls. Parents just hand them a phone. So I am guessing that parents use “kids could get around it” as a reason not to put the work in. Yes, it’s true that kids can get around *some* controls (with time and effort and usually evidence you can see), but I don’t buy into the notion that you therefore hand them an iPhone and say good luck. For example, our child was using phone too late in the evening despite Apple setting to shut it down. (Our child wasn’t changing the time zone but, for a while, the control wasn’t working.). I knew this because I monitor when child was using phone. Our solution was to remove phone physically from child at the appointed time. It takes work. Most parents find handing their child a phone is convenient FOR THEM; they can coordinate with kid, kid stops whining, etc. And when convenience is a drive, the effort to work on parental controls and monitoring usage, etc, takes a backseat. It’s pretty amazing to me that in our hyper educated affluent little bubble the kids are running pretty wild with phones and most parents seem to shrug it off.

Parents buy their kids phones, are not willing to lift a finger to restrict access and then scream about phones being a menace that the schools must take away.

The thing is, a phone is a want not a need for most kids. Yes, even those in high school. An easy solution is to take away the phone when they use it irresponsibly at school and you are notified. But here we are blaming the schools and telling them to fix it when it’s you, the parent that is at fault for giving them the phone too early in the first place.

Well, I’m the poster above and i take parental controls very seriously and we use iPhones. One thing I found with the lockdown phone is that sometime that makes parents feel more comfortable getting their child a phone earlier and also not doing the work I mentioned above to monitor and keep up. I guess to each his own. Luckily, DCUM is filled with opinions.

We have a bark phone - my son hates it; I Iove it.

Anonymous wrote:Working through the parental controls takes time and effort. Most kids I see have no meaningful controls. Parents just hand them a phone. So I am guessing that parents use “kids could get around it” as a reason not to put the work in. Yes, it’s true that kids can get around *some* controls (with time and effort and usually evidence you can see), but I don’t buy into the notion that you therefore hand them an iPhone and say good luck. For example, our child was using phone too late in the evening despite Apple setting to shut it down. (Our child wasn’t changing the time zone but, for a while, the control wasn’t working.). I knew this because I monitor when child was using phone. Our solution was to remove phone physically from child at the appointed time. It takes work. Most parents find handing their child a phone is convenient FOR THEM; they can coordinate with kid, kid stops whining, etc. And when convenience is a drive, the effort to work on parental controls and monitoring usage, etc, takes a backseat. It’s pretty amazing to me that in our hyper educated affluent little bubble the kids are running pretty wild with phones and most parents seem to shrug it off.

Anyone who thinks they can lock down an iPhone is kidding themselves. Kids are smart and can figure out how to get what they want. Get a Bark phone if you take parental controls seriously.

Working through the parental controls takes time and effort. Most kids I see have no meaningful controls. Parents just hand them a phone. So I am guessing that parents use “kids could get around it” as a reason not to put the work in. Yes, it’s true that kids can get around *some* controls (with time and effort and usually evidence you can see), but I don’t buy into the notion that you therefore hand them an iPhone and say good luck. For example, our child was using phone too late in the evening despite Apple setting to shut it down. (Our child wasn’t changing the time zone but, for a while, the control wasn’t working.). I knew this because I monitor when child was using phone. Our solution was to remove phone physically from child at the appointed time. It takes work. Most parents find handing their child a phone is convenient FOR THEM; they can coordinate with kid, kid stops whining, etc. And when convenience is a drive, the effort to work on parental controls and monitoring usage, etc, takes a backseat. It’s pretty amazing to me that in our hyper educated affluent little bubble the kids are running pretty wild with phones and most parents seem to shrug it off.

[quote=Anonymous]We use this to restrict my kid’s phone usage during school hours. [b]He’s special needs[/b] and extremely un-tech savvy. Most kids would get around it in less than a day. It’s not going to help. [/quote]

Why are you so disrespectful to your child?

Anonymous wrote:How do they get around it?

Changing the time zone, messaging others through apps like Notes, Venmo, etc. Join Parenting In A Tech World on Facebook. All sorts of ways kids are sneaky. You think you’ve figured out how to lock it down? I promise they’re one step ahead of you.

And just when you think you’re safe, they get a burner phone.

How do they get around it?

Yes but… Be aware that kids can find ways around any parental controls.

Our children do not have any web access on their iPhones nor do we allow any social media. We also do not allow them phones until 8th grade. Finally, we must approve any app and limit time on the phone itself. They use it to text (mostly with us but also some friends and extended family), use maps, some limited games (which we approve and no games that allow web based communication), maps (they love the maps features). In HS, we allowed one child obsessed with sports ESPN. We don’t think we reflect the norm in APS and we are 100% comfortable with that.

There are phones you can buy without all the capabilities

We use this to restrict my kid’s phone usage during school hours. He’s special needs and extremely un-tech savvy. Most kids would get around it in less than a day. It’s not going to help.

Does anyone use parental controls on their kids phone? I’ve heard that you can limit kids time on specific apps, and basically make the phone a brick that can only call or text the parent. I’m thinking setting this during school hours would really help teachers handle the phone problem in class. Does anyone have any experience using this?