I have good students and they will be going in state.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son graduated from a private, parochial school with a 2.7 GPA. Went to ODU, which cost us about $100K for everything (may be a bit less). Struggled the first year (COVD) but graduated with a 3.5 GPA and a degree in business and IT. Also grew up a lot in college.

I think if I had not sent him to college he would have floundered his way through his late teens and early 20s. He is absolutely better off for going to school and I believe it will cost us less money in the long run because he is self sufficient with a good degree.

Yeah I agree with this - one of your kids has a B average OP, they aren't failing. Really?? you want to set them up for only low wage option jobs (unless they are truly interested and would thrive in trade school which is a good option but you haven't mentioned interest there). Not every kid needs to have a 4.0. B average kids can do well in jobs and can grow up a lot in college. Tell them the bounds of the budget, maybe that is in-state schools and support them in finding a school that is a good fit for them.

+1 Yes, they need to go to college -- unless they want to go to trade school (which is also a lot of work) -- and you tell them your budget. If they aren't happy with the college options in their budget they can go to CC and transfer.

to put it more simply, yes I think it is wrong. If you've been paying for private school all these years you can afford in state college tuition and I don't think it will do you any favors to not support your kids in that. Do you want to be supporting them the rest of their life? Feel like a failure because they get Bs? Is that really the message you want to give them as a parent?

Anonymous wrote:My son graduated from a private, parochial school with a 2.7 GPA. Went to ODU, which cost us about $100K for everything (may be a bit less). Struggled the first year (COVD) but graduated with a 3.5 GPA and a degree in business and IT. Also grew up a lot in college.

I think if I had not sent him to college he would have floundered his way through his late teens and early 20s. He is absolutely better off for going to school and I believe it will cost us less money in the long run because he is self sufficient with a good degree.

Yeah I agree with this - one of your kids has a B average OP, they aren't failing. Really?? you want to set them up for only low wage option jobs (unless they are truly interested and would thrive in trade school which is a good option but you haven't mentioned interest there). Not every kid needs to have a 4.0. B average kids can do well in jobs and can grow up a lot in college. Tell them the bounds of the budget, maybe that is in-state schools and support them in finding a school that is a good fit for them.

They can go to Salisbury and transfer to MD, or UMBC or Towson or Mason and transfer to JMU.

I think believing they don’t deserve to go to college is catastrophizing.

If they don’t want to go that’s different.

I dunno - a B average doesn’t seem so terrible that kid shouldn’t go to college! Look at VCau or Towson or other less expensive in-state options. Not every kid is an A student.

My son graduated from a private, parochial school with a 2.7 GPA. Went to ODU, which cost us about $100K for everything (may be a bit less). Struggled the first year (COVD) but graduated with a 3.5 GPA and a degree in business and IT. Also grew up a lot in college.

I think if I had not sent him to college he would have floundered his way through his late teens and early 20s. He is absolutely better off for going to school and I believe it will cost us less money in the long run because he is self sufficient with a good degree.

I think these are the kind of kids you should pay for because they likely need more help than the straight A kids

I would not pay for out of state and tell them that. So, that leaves them in state options only. I’d pay for whatever in state public college they want to go to and get accepted to. If they can’t get into one, then community college it is.

You calmly, like the grown-up you are, you say

“Petunia, we have budgeted for in-state tuition. If you want to go out of state, if you work hard you can get some merit money and do so. It’s up to you.”

There is no point in telling her that you would be happy to pay for out of state if you thought more highly of her.

Your autocorrect errors lead me to believe that you have engaged in trolling in the past.

There are usually a variety of state schools - I imagine they can get into at least one of them? A few are pretty easy to get into. Are you thinking a couple of years in community college first? A lot of people do that with the goal of transferring to a 4 year school. It’s worth a sit-down with the family to clarify goals.

All you can ask is that they try their best. Are you sure this is not the best they can do?

If not, give them targets with attached consequences. Then enough time to turn things around.

Otherwise it is unfit to spring this on them with no advanced warning.

Community college

Kids are not high achieving students, college tuition is so incredible high. If my kids were excellent students, involved in extracurriculars then, yes, I can see paying most of it, all if they go to a state university. Right now their cum can’t even get them in a state college. DD has a glorified outlook she’ll go to an out of state, a not so “fancy” one says- they all cost $40k tuition nevermind lodging, foid, and transport. DH is the kind of guy that caves in…

They’re in a parochial, private high school that we are paying for with these lukewarm grades. I can’t afford more tutors. How did you deliver the news to the kids that they have no choice? To your “princess?”