Anonymous wrote:Oh my goodness, you are friends and talk every day, she hasn’t seen her CHILDREN in 5 years, you are in a position to help her, and you won’t? That’s awful.

You don’t have to hang out with her, but take her. Drop her off at one of her kid’s houses.

I am not in a position to help her. Maybe you can drop several grand on someone else's travel (airfare, car, food, hotel), but I cannot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A close friend of mine is from a town that's basically only known for a single tourist attraction. Think Cooperstown, NY or similar. She has struggled financially since marrying 30 years ago and has not been able to return since, though she speaks fondly of it and has cried when she talks about how she can't afford to visit. Two of her adult children did move there, so she hasn't seen them in 5+ years, either. All that to say, there are emotions surrounding this place for her.

DH recently planned a trip to this city to visit this tourist attraction, and I know it'll hurt her feelings if she finds out. We speak almost every day, so hiding a 6-day road trip will be tough, especially if she asks where we are. Advice?

What does this mean? Did he plan this 6-day trip without your knowledge? I would've been upfront from the beginning. If this was a very close friend and I could afford it, I might even invite her to join us for the last couple of days.

He'd planned it for him and the kids because I had a business trip, but that trip cancelled, so now I'm going. He would definitely NOT pay to fly her out, a hotel room, and all her food (that's how financially poorly she's done). Would think it's very weird, even.

Is the difference that you're going instead of just Dh and the kids? Just explain that your business trip was canceled, so you'll join them.

How are you spending 6 days for this one place?

Oh my goodness, you are friends and talk every day, she hasn’t seen her CHILDREN in 5 years, you are in a position to help her, and you won’t? That’s awful.

You don’t have to hang out with her, but take her. Drop her off at one of her kid’s houses.

Anonymous wrote:It seems really strange to me that your friend has been "crying" about missing her hometown for 30 years, and you and dh decide to take a 6 day trip there. Of all the places to visit? Something seems off.

My middle child has been asking to visit this tourist attraction, and since DH recently got back from overseas, he agreed to an end-of-summer road trip. Would have agreed to anything to spend time with the kids, really. I had a business trip scheduled and wasn't part of this plan when it was originally made.

She's a grown woman. Just rip the bandaid off. "Jenna, I really debated on whether to tell you this, but you're a grown adult and my friend, and I'd feel terrible keeping this from you: DH and I are going to Kentucky next month. We'll be gone a week. Please let me know if there's anything you want me to drop off with Jenna Jr or take pictures of for you while I'm there."

Don’t hide or omit from her. Find another way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A close friend of mine is from a town that's basically only known for a single tourist attraction. Think Cooperstown, NY or similar. She has struggled financially since marrying 30 years ago and has not been able to return since, though she speaks fondly of it and has cried when she talks about how she can't afford to visit. Two of her adult children did move there, so she hasn't seen them in 5+ years, either. All that to say, there are emotions surrounding this place for her.

DH recently planned a trip to this city to visit this tourist attraction, and I know it'll hurt her feelings if she finds out. We speak almost every day, so hiding a 6-day road trip will be tough, especially if she asks where we are. Advice?

What does this mean? Did he plan this 6-day trip without your knowledge? I would've been upfront from the beginning. If this was a very close friend and I could afford it, I might even invite her to join us for the last couple of days.

He'd planned it for him and the kids because I had a business trip, but that trip cancelled, so now I'm going. He would definitely NOT pay to fly her out, a hotel room, and all her food (that's how financially poorly she's done). Would think it's very weird, even.

It seems really strange to me that your friend has been "crying" about missing her hometown for 30 years, and you and dh decide to take a 6 day trip there. Of all the places to visit? Something seems off.

Why would it hurt her feelings?

Anonymous wrote:A close friend of mine is from a town that's basically only known for a single tourist attraction. Think Cooperstown, NY or similar. She has struggled financially since marrying 30 years ago and has not been able to return since, though she speaks fondly of it and has cried when she talks about how she can't afford to visit. Two of her adult children did move there, so she hasn't seen them in 5+ years, either. All that to say, there are emotions surrounding this place for her.

DH recently planned a trip to this city to visit this tourist attraction, and I know it'll hurt her feelings if she finds out. We speak almost every day, so hiding a 6-day road trip will be tough, especially if she asks where we are. Advice?

What does this mean? Did he plan this 6-day trip without your knowledge? I would've been upfront from the beginning. If this was a very close friend and I could afford it, I might even invite her to join us for the last couple of days.

Anonymous wrote:Why not take her? That seems strange she cannot afford a bus or plane ticket or to drive and stay with the kids.

Typical DCUM.

I wouldn't hide it. She can talk about places she knows you can visit or that were special to her. You can bring gifts to her children and gifts back from theme etc.

You can make it sound like a stop on a road trip rather than a destination.

Why not take her? That seems strange she cannot afford a bus or plane ticket or to drive and stay with the kids.

A close friend of mine is from a town that's basically only known for a single tourist attraction. Think Cooperstown, NY or similar. She has struggled financially since marrying 30 years ago and has not been able to return since, though she speaks fondly of it and has cried when she talks about how she can't afford to visit. Two of her adult children did move there, so she hasn't seen them in 5+ years, either. All that to say, there are emotions surrounding this place for her.

DH recently planned a trip to this city to visit this tourist attraction, and I know it'll hurt her feelings if she finds out. We speak almost every day, so hiding a 6-day road trip will be tough, especially if she asks where we are. Advice?