I am with the others - her friends should plan this, not you. Contact them, say you want to spring for Sat night put for her bday, they have $500 (or whatever amount t), amd let them plan the evening. Or, you could pick a restaurant, and tell them to do dinner and then they can take it from there.

What those of us with 21+ kids are all telling you, is that it is *weird* for a parent to plan a 21st bday party with friends

This is OP. Most of her friends no longer live in the area, they are scattered around for internships and such over the summer and are all over during the school year. She is also not a big party person, which is why she only wants to do something with 2-3 of her close friends.

She has always liked surprises, I don’t think it’s weird for her to ask to plan something as part of her gift for her and a couple of friends. The friends aren’t going to want to spring for the things I will, so the “cut the apron strings” comments are off — she makes money with her internship and is away most of the time at school and is very responsible and takes care of things.

Back to my original question: any other ideas?! And yes, I want to leave her and her friends alone, we will have a separate family thing the night before but let the 21 year old celebrate with her buddies on her actual BD!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No parent should plan a 21st birthday party.
Cut the apron strings

This^.

I agree with this. By 21 your friends should be planning your party. MAYYYYBE they invite the parents to a small portion of it. Or not, and you just take her out with immediately family to a restaurant for dinner.

Anonymous wrote:No parent should plan a 21st birthday party.
Cut the apron strings

This^.

No parent should plan a 21st birthday party.
Cut the apron strings

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send her on a bar crawl scavenger hunt starting with dinner and ending up and some cool boutique hotel.

Yup gift beginners's introduction to alcoholism.

I went on plenty of bar crawls in my early 20s. I've never had an issue with alcohol.

No alcoholic thinks they've an issue with alcohol, no gambler with money, no addict with a drug, no shooter with a gun and no abuser with victim.

Hotel room at the Wharf, $500 to spend (sounds like this is within your budget given the boat thing), and leave them alone!

I would not do anything that involves a surprise. Have her plan this, and know that parents don't expect to be included. Be the taxi, maybe

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send her on a bar crawl scavenger hunt starting with dinner and ending up and some cool boutique hotel.

Yup gift beginners's introduction to alcoholism.

I went on plenty of bar crawls in my early 20s. I've never had an issue with alcohol.

Anonymous wrote:Send her on a bar crawl scavenger hunt starting with dinner and ending up and some cool boutique hotel.

Yup gift beginners's introduction to alcoholism.

Send her on a bar crawl scavenger hunt starting with dinner and ending up and some cool boutique hotel.

Gourmet cooking class at a fun place?

Check out AirBnB Experiences.

This is for a surprise—she literally said “surprise me.” Hmmm, ok— escape room off the table.

I’ll look up wine tasting.

What does SHE want? Escape room seems very young. It's either for middle schoolers or corporate bonding events. Maybe they'd like to go wine tasting. Or to a comedy club.

For my DD and 2-3 friends, on her 21st. She doesn’t want anything big, just her besties:
-One of the easy drive boat rentals from the wharf (just have to be 21 and have DL), we would pack a meal with champagne
-Dinner cruise around DC
-Escape Room
-Hotel room for her and friends at a fun place in the city like The Wharf

Any other ideas?