I didn't allow whining at all when my kids were little, because I couldn't listen to that. They were punished the first couple of times and learned not to do it. Any complaint had to be made in a normal voice. There are many reasonable ways of saying "I'm hungry". A whiny tone is not one of them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And what can I do to make it less so? I mean this both ways - like what can I do for myself so that it doesn't bother me as much and also how do I get my otherwise really good kid to stop being so whiny about things like doing her chores and putting her things away?

It means you aren't paying attention the first or second times they ask! How about the first time they say it in a nice tone you respond!

Wrong! The first time is major whining.

Whining implies helplessness and negativity.

Things that kids do which are triggering are usually because they trigger some deeply ingrained value of yours.

Do you value do-it-yourself independence and optimism? If so, your kid whining will be super triggering.

Get some tuning forks and figure out at what note you find their voice most triggering. Then, do something pleasant while striking that note. Obviously kidding but I do think some kids have more grating whines than others

Because it is annoying!

I “don’t understand” whining. I told my kids that the older adults get, the harder it is for them to hear that particular register. Yes, it’s a lie, but I had a concussion and it was true for a brief period of time. My kids still whine, but i ask them nicely to repeat it and they self-correct. This takes years of 100% commitment to the narrative.

Anonymous wrote:And what can I do to make it less so? I mean this both ways - like what can I do for myself so that it doesn't bother me as much and also how do I get my otherwise really good kid to stop being so whiny about things like doing her chores and putting her things away?

If she whines; she gets another chore. My kids learned very quickly to not whine. They can discuss—they can ask to do something later, for example, but “nooooo I haaaaaaate the dishes, I don’t wannnaaaaaaaaa” means they also have to sweep.

Anonymous wrote:And what can I do to make it less so? I mean this both ways - like what can I do for myself so that it doesn't bother me as much and also how do I get my otherwise really good kid to stop being so whiny about things like doing her chores and putting her things away?

It means you aren't paying attention the first or second times they ask! How about the first time they say it in a nice tone you respond!

Whining is kind of meant to be triggering.

We do not allow whining. Two common phrases in our household for toddler/preschool aged kids are "If you whine, the answer will be no" and "Go to your room and don't come back until you can talk without whining."

By about kinder or 1st it's said only a few times a year.

You should learn about 123 Magic for dealing with annoying behaviors. It takes out the emotion on your part and is very clear for STOP behaviors.

Earplugs will really help you.

Spend a few weeks re-setting their tone of voice. "I can't hear you when you whine. You may ask again politely." Over and over.

I just got some Loop earplugs and they help take the edge off all the annoying sounds my kids might make!

I mean I’m following for “how do in tolerate whining better” advice but for “how do in stop whining” I both put on distracting things are chore time (podcast, music) that helps us be willing to work and do minimalist discouragement of whining (eh you’re whining that you want the blue bowl? Blue bowl is not in use tonight unless you can use a pleasant tone of voice to request it).

And what can I do to make it less so? I mean this both ways - like what can I do for myself so that it doesn't bother me as much and also how do I get my otherwise really good kid to stop being so whiny about things like doing her chores and putting her things away?