This is so hilarious. OP is worried about “those moms” when she is quickly become ming one. Welcome to private school!

Cannot wait for the posts in the college forum in ten yrs.

This is so strange! All I discussed with our preschool friends was where we were applying and maybe about the play dates (how they went, etc). For the few close friends (kids’ friends) we just hoped we would be in the same school/class.

What kind of “secrets” do you think they are trying discover from you? What you feed your son before the play date?

Anonymous wrote:We’re planning to apply to a big3/5 type schools for K and have gone on tours where we have seen some folks we know. One of them, from our current preschool reached out to me and setup a time so we can “discuss options”. I’m not really sure why they picked me to talk to since I don’t know them well. I also don’t want to give away our plans as they’re competing with our child for a slot. How would you handle this?

I think it requires a delicate balance. You don’t want to give away too much but you also don’t want to be a jerk. During the process, you will find out some people are jerks.

It had happened to me before. One mom (I was not close to her but knew from same preschool) wanted to grab coffee to “catch up” but interrogated me the whole time. Before “grabbing coffee” with her, I thought it was just K so why not discuss? I was wrong. She was basically interrogating me for information. When I asked her thoughts, she gave away nothing.

Then, another mom friend (this one, I was closer with) would ask a lot of questions like what schools we are applying to etc. I gave her information she asked because we were “friends”. We would time to time grab dinner like double date dinners too. Once she viewed me as not useful, we stopped having dinners. Some people just show their true colors.

Anonymous wrote:When DC was applying for 9th we constantly saw the same handful of parents/kids from DC’s 8th grade at events, including DC’s best friends. Of course we all knew we were essentially competing against each other (or our kids were), but it was still nice to have friendly faces to talk to and compare notes.

As it turned out, there was lots of overlap among the schools being applied to by the group and lots of overlap in the kids who were accepted as well, so it continued being helpful to chat with these parents about impressions and questions during the admitted family events while making final decisions.

We also saw lots of families from our current school at open houses, and would chat with other parents about the application process. But if a parent contacted me to set up a time to "discuss options" I would find that very odd.

Anonymous wrote:yeah, I wouldn't assume they have nefarious intentions. It's K...you will likely end up applying to the same schools and there is nothing you are going to say that is going to give them a leg up. This process can be stressful and it might be nice to have someone else to talk about it.

+1. Also just be nice to them. It doesn’t cost you anything.

yeah, I wouldn't assume they have nefarious intentions. It's K...you will likely end up applying to the same schools and there is nothing you are going to say that is going to give them a leg up. This process can be stressful and it might be nice to have someone else to talk about it.

When DC was applying for 9th we constantly saw the same handful of parents/kids from DC’s 8th grade at events, including DC’s best friends. Of course we all knew we were essentially competing against each other (or our kids were), but it was still nice to have friendly faces to talk to and compare notes.

As it turned out, there was lots of overlap among the schools being applied to by the group and lots of overlap in the kids who were accepted as well, so it continued being helpful to chat with these parents about impressions and questions during the admitted family events while making final decisions.

Anonymous wrote:What are the plans you don’t want to give away? They saw you on a tour so they know you’re looking. You need to calm down OP or the schools years are going to be fraught with anxiety and distrust.

+1
You've said you know each other. My goodness. Perhaps they just want someone to chat with about the process.

Anonymous wrote:We’re planning to apply to a big3/5 type schools for K and have gone on tours where we have seen some folks we know. One of them, from our current preschool reached out to me and setup a time so we can “discuss options”. I’m not really sure why they picked me to talk to since I don’t know them well. I also don’t want to give away our plans as they’re competing with our child for a slot. How would you handle this?

They’re probably contacting every parent they know from any of the tours.

What are the plans you don’t want to give away? They saw you on a tour so they know you’re looking. You need to calm down OP or the schools years are going to be fraught with anxiety and distrust.

Maybe they want to see if you want to carpool or something. Don’t overthink it.

Anonymous wrote:We’re planning to apply to a big3/5 type schools for K and have gone on tours where we have seen some folks we know. One of them, from our current preschool reached out to me and setup a time so we can “discuss options”. I’m not really sure why they picked me to talk to since I don’t know them well. I also don’t want to give away our plans as they’re competing with our child for a slot. How would you handle this?

That’s really awkward, given the competitive aspect of it all!

They just want to share info and talk with someone who understands, most likely. Or they're hoping your kids will end up at the same school and be friends.

Just be kind of vague about your plans and say "we haven't decided yet" for everything.

Seriously?

We’re planning to apply to a big3/5 type schools for K and have gone on tours where we have seen some folks we know. One of them, from our current preschool reached out to me and setup a time so we can “discuss options”. I’m not really sure why they picked me to talk to since I don’t know them well. I also don’t want to give away our plans as they’re competing with our child for a slot. How would you handle this?