Your husband is picking places for fun; places that he and kids will enjoy.

If you want to change the destinations, put in the work to schedule and plan a vacation where you want to go and do things that you want to show/share with the kids. When you plan the vacation, then you get to establish the rules and you can prioritize cleaner places. We go to a mix of places that are fun, but spend the day cleaning everything with hand sanitizer and wipes vs places that are more upscale and cleaner. We mix it up so that we aren't too upset by the grime and germs, but we don't miss out on fun activities and venues. But, both my spouse and I actively participate in our vacation planning, and we can both weigh in on the activity options in each location. We tend to create a list of activities near each location and each day, we talk as a family about what on the list we want to do.

Stick to 4- or 5-star hotels. Some have kids clubs. Outdoor activities like biking, skiing, hiking. Visit gardens. Some aquariums are surprisingly clean like Aquarium of the Pacific and it has a nice splash pad.

So your husband sounds like a cheap miser and is pinching pennies rather than booking nice places. Stop letting him plan the vacations if they aren't up to your standards.

Proactively suggest some different things like:

Massanutten (nice rental houses, easy day trip to Luray Caverns)

Oglebay Resort in West Virginia; it's clean/nice/decent food, it has a big pool and lots for kids to do, even in winter (when they have a trolley ride through holiday light show)

A beach house in Fenwick with one day trip down to the OC Boardwalk

A beach house in Sandbridge

National parks, Busch Gardens, Hershey PA, just get creative, think of things you DO want to do and provide a big list.

Thank you all. Yes, we are in a Jersey Shore / Ocean City type place. Appreciate that this is just a phase and we were kind of backed into this situation given some stuff I can’t really elaborate on. Also thanks for the recommendations on Busch and Disney. I’m all for the kids getting their adrenaline rush but I can’t do the constant state of decay and grossness anymore.

Go to Hershey and stay in the Hershey Hotel. Do the park early, usually short or fast moving lines for kiddie rides. Long lines later in the afternoon and evening for rollercoasters fr older kids. The extra money to stay in the hotel vs lodge is so worth it. Kids always loved the Sunday brunch. Tennis, outdoor pool with water slide and poolside service, spa is nice.

Go to Colorado and stay in the Broadmoor. Great resort, lots to do for active kids.

Go to Yosemite and stay in the Ahwahnee!

Go to Lake Tahoe Incline Village stay in the Hyatt.

Go to Santa Cruz, Monterey, Big Sur and Carmel.

Go to Disneyland spend a few days in the Grand Calafornian and then go to Newport or Huntington Beach.

Go to Sedona , Jackson Hole WY or Montana. Lots of resorts and things to do.

San Diego Hotel Coronnado , near Legoland, San Diego zoo, etc

We've gone to Ocean City MD many times in the summer. We have stayed in some absolute dumps and some really nice places. Guess what, the nice places cost more money! At this point I very much want to feel comfortable, so I am willing to pay more money and do more research to find accommodations that are clean and nice. Even in a place with a bad rep like OC.

But if I go to a waterpark on a Saturday in the the summer, I expect it might be a little gross. That just comes with the territory. Find the one that costs an outrageous sum of money at some resort somewhere and it might be cleaner. Maybe.

Anonymous wrote:Busch Gardens is one of the nicer amusement parks in the general area, why not try that one? You could stay at a high end resort there if you wanted.

This is a good suggestion for both outing amd accommodations.

I get it, OP, when DC were small we went some places that catered to the age, and they were notably dirty. Kid-themed restaurants, indoor play areas, etc.

I hear you, OP. It’s just cleanliness standards generally that I have an issue with.

From Panera bread where each restaurant seems to reek of a burned smell covered up by some industrial strength cleaner to pools such as Upton hill that is overcrowded with old rundown showers filled with trash and hair by midday. I completely understand that these are meant to be basic/not four seasons and not even holiday inn, but I just want clean.

Busch Gardens is one of the nicer amusement parks in the general area, why not try that one? You could stay at a high end resort there if you wanted.

Where on earth are you going? I've never been to a place like you describe. Probably the grossest place I've been to is Chuck E Cheese and it wasn't even that bad.

This is half the reason most people go to Disney world. The amusement parks up here are pretty gross.

I feel you though. I refuse to spend my vacation in some awful 1960s AirBnB in Atlantic city/Ocean City or similar. I really don't find those places appealing.

I agree that I'd need some kind of example to see if you're being overly picky. Little kid places aren't always Four Seasons level, and you've got to deal with some chaos because even if it's spotless when they open the gates, it fills up with kids and kids are gross.

But as a stopgap measure - you plan the next outing. You're in charge, buy the tickets, add it to the shared family calendar and let him know where you're going. For vacations you need a little more buy-in from him, but it seems like he's been steamrolling you lately so you can call that it's your turn to plan one.

Please give specific examples of where you have been that was filthy.

Amusement park is too general. Disney for example is VERY clean. As is the small amusement park in Howard County off of I-70. I'm sure some Six Flags could use more cleaning, but I think it's park specific.

Not sure what forum this belongs in. Putting it here because family is involved somewhat.

My husband and I have two kids 4 and 8. We make a good income. But every time there’s outing, a vacation, a stay at a hotel, it’s always just really gross. He always wants to take the kids to places that tend to be run down and filled with germs and I can’t take it anymore. I work so hard and want to enjoy my time and money on places that aren’t decaying, litter ridden, etc. He thinks it’s time because the kids love it. But it’s becoming a mental health issue for me. I work all week in a high stress job then am asked to go to run down amusement parks with vomit, hair, trash everywhere. I literally can’t do it anymore. I don’t even consider myself a germ aphobe. I don’t want to miss out on time with the kids but husband isn’t really interested in other things that aren’t arcades and amusement parks for the kids. Please help and feel free to flame away if it suits you.