I really want to do a summer home with our kids still young (1 and 4). Our jobs are actually getting more flexible the higher up the ladder we go, given that I'm in the office 4-5 days per week during the rest of the year - can easily scoot away for the summer and occasionally come back to DC for a big meeting or fly for a biz trip.

About your question about kids leaving for the summer being left behind, I don't think that's too much of an issue. There's so much traveling that happens among families, and camps etc.

However, I've noticed as my 2 kids have gotten older and one in high school (youngest is now middle school) that the summers are harder. Our close-in VA city, the fall high school sports or activities (band, etc) start about 1 month before school starts. High schooler is doing an internship. Most of their friends are either taking summer school, going to campus based programs, have a job, or doing an internship. Lots of the things that made sense when they were just a couple years younger (like pool membership) are trickier. This started summer after 9th grade. Earlier than I thought.

We do this. Just arrived over the weekend. We find that it is easy to find people to manage the summer house in the off season because there are businesses focused on this and various vendors are used to absentee owners since it is a seasonal community.

In DC we have our cleaning person com every 2 weeks (crazy expensive but we have to pay her), we typically hire a college student or similar to check on the house and forward mail every couple of weeks (tried the postal service mail forwarding a couple of years and it was unreliable), and have full service landscapers.

Overall it is pretty easy to manage if you are willing to pay. While we do some home chores at the summer house I made a deliberate decision that we were going to pay to outsource as much as possible because I didn't want the summer to just be about house maintenance.

We go up several times in the off season (flying, as the drive is long) and in the next few years plan to spend most of the fall there as well.

Anonymous wrote:My parents did it for years. Cape Cod for the summer. I knew dozens of other people who did the same thing, with dads commuting and spending the weekends on the cape. Whole new set of friends for everyone. I liked it.

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Same. We drove up the day after school ended and didn't come back until the day before school started. I remember mad rushes to Staples after a long drive back to get supplies for school the next day. Parents still go up June-late September. Travel sports didn't exist when I was growing up in the 80/90s except perhaps for the very gifted. But it never occurred to me to want to stay in town during the summers. I did go away to camps for short spells but rest of the summer was always on at the house and had my first summer jobs in the local communities.

Summering is a lifestyle and you have to embrace it fully to make the most of it. Our house was a little rustic but that was part of the charm too. We weren't trying to recreate the town life. We were swimming, sailing, relaxing, digging for clams, picking berries, bonfire on the beaches, and us kids getting up to no end of harmless trouble with other summer kids.

Anonymous wrote:So through the perfect alignment of many stars, it looks like we may be able to buy a home in our dream town up North. We'd go from June-August so we could maximize our time and escape the heat. Anyone on here just get out of dodge for the whole summer? Pros? Cons? Tips? Advice?

I will add that we do have two kids. One will be at an age where he can work at a camp he's been going to for years so that's great! The other, however, is super sporty and coming into an age where travel sports are going to demand summer time commitment. Not sure if bailing all summer long will help or hinder.

Anyway, any and all insights are appreciated! We're excited about this opportunity but are not from families who could ever afford this kind of luxury so it's all new to us.

This was the only way I agreed to stay in DC - if we could escape June to August. It does take money and some effort to coordinate but sounds like money is not an issue for you. You can outsource a lot of the maintenance.

We do this overseas half the year. It's nice to have a small staff on hand to prep the property for arrival and to close it down/clean up when you leave.

Is there any sort of summer league in your summer town your son could play in?

Anonymous wrote:We did this growing up and still do for the month of August.
I would be sure to have someone check on your house periodically. We have cats so we have a cat sitter come by everyday. It’s peace of mind to know someone is at your house to check on packages or plants or leaks.
If you use a cleaning lady, you might want to have her come at least once a month. We didn’t have ours come last August (though we paid her) until just before we came home. She was not pleased by how gross our house had gotten in just those 3 1/2 weeks. Not just the cats but spiders making new homes, dust, mold, etc.
If your kid plays a fall sport, it’s a pain. We’ve had to come back for a few days for tryouts every year then plead to miss the first week of practice.
Otherwise, enjoy!

Great point about a housekeeper! Don't forget landscaper too.

We did this growing up and still do for the month of August.
I would be sure to have someone check on your house periodically. We have cats so we have a cat sitter come by everyday. It’s peace of mind to know someone is at your house to check on packages or plants or leaks.
If you use a cleaning lady, you might want to have her come at least once a month. We didn’t have ours come last August (though we paid her) until just before we came home. She was not pleased by how gross our house had gotten in just those 3 1/2 weeks. Not just the cats but spiders making new homes, dust, mold, etc.
If your kid plays a fall sport, it’s a pain. We’ve had to come back for a few days for tryouts every year then plead to miss the first week of practice.
Otherwise, enjoy!

Anonymous wrote:The travel sport kid is going to be your main issue. Are you asking him to quit? Is he okay with that? Do you care?

He's actually only on pre-travel teams at the moment so it's all hypothetical at the moment. He plays several sports that don't have a travel component so it may just mean he pivots to those if other sports?

Out of curiosity, do you think kids who miss the summer season are left behind?

The travel sport kid is going to be your main issue. Are you asking him to quit? Is he okay with that? Do you care?

My parents did it for years. Cape Cod for the summer. I knew dozens of other people who did the same thing, with dads commuting and spending the weekends on the cape. Whole new set of friends for everyone. I liked it.

Not current experience, but our family did this when I was growing up. As children and teens, we'd have a friend from home visit sometime during the summer, fly up, stay a week. We signed up for some local activities, lessons. But it was a lot of quiet time with family. A break from our routine at home. Kids adapt. I think it is fine for parents to just say, "this is how it's going to be." I certainly wouldn't let travel sports interfere with the summer. That's me. I'd give all power to Mom and Dad deciding on summer.

We did this growing up, but our second home was 45 minutes from the house in town. So we could go to sports practices etc. without too much trouble.

How old are the kids? By high school they won’t be able to do this and play on sports teams.

So through the perfect alignment of many stars, it looks like we may be able to buy a home in our dream town up North. We'd go from June-August so we could maximize our time and escape the heat. Anyone on here just get out of dodge for the whole summer? Pros? Cons? Tips? Advice?

I will add that we do have two kids. One will be at an age where he can work at a camp he's been going to for years so that's great! The other, however, is super sporty and coming into an age where travel sports are going to demand summer time commitment. Not sure if bailing all summer long will help or hinder.

Anyway, any and all insights are appreciated! We're excited about this opportunity but are not from families who could ever afford this kind of luxury so it's all new to us.