OP, minor point, but shift your mindset so that you and your son do not think of the selection process as “getting picked”. The swimmers qualify to swim the A meets, they are not “picked”. This puts the power into their own hands, not the coaches.

Your son is 12- by that age, he is able to express his goals and be proactive in putting in the work. Watch him at practice and see where he is on the spectrum of putting his head down, pushing himself and trying to max every practice or having fun with his friends, goofing off and behaving like a typical 12 year old in summer mode. If it’s the latter and he isn’t asking for more practice, let him be. If he is committing to every practice and leaving exhausted, then you can help him by offering extra lessons. Swim is a sport where kids who focus and try hard in practice will improve, while kids who go through the motions of practice but cheat by skipping sets, pulling on the lane lines, prefer to talk to friends instead of swim, etc, will not. A lot of times parents don’t understand why their kids are not improving as much as they should, and when they watch a practice, it becomes obvious. Start with assessing how your son practices and then go from there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In nvsl it takes at least 6 kids per age group in a meet not 3.

Ask the team rep where your kid is in the ladder (times). That will show him how far off he is of making the a meets. You may consider having him focus on a different stroke at a b meet and in practice if he is closer in a less favored stroke.

But it’s 3 per team.

In NVSL each team needs 6 swimmers to fill all lanes in an age group — there are 12 total slots (4 strokes x 3 lanes per stroke) and each swimmer may only do 2 strokes max.

I think OP is in MCSL. It’s top 3 swimmers for all strokes except freestyle which is top 6 kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In nvsl it takes at least 6 kids per age group in a meet not 3.

Ask the team rep where your kid is in the ladder (times). That will show him how far off he is of making the a meets. You may consider having him focus on a different stroke at a b meet and in practice if he is closer in a less favored stroke.

But it’s 3 per team.

In NVSL each team needs 6 swimmers to fill all lanes in an age group — there are 12 total slots (4 strokes x 3 lanes per stroke) and each swimmer may only do 2 strokes max.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many 12 year olds are swimming 5-6 days a week….

And burnt out and hate swimming when they reach their puberty…

I know 2 fast swimmers in the 15-18 age group who both have vertebral fractures from swim. Apparently it’s a common overuse injury. Can you imagine having that at age 16-17? Lordy. These kids are overworked. They’re great kids and swimmers but they’re not going to swim D1 or anything. I just don’t see the point of swimming that much, even if you love it, and risking such injury.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many 12 year olds are swimming 5-6 days a week….

And burnt out and hate swimming when they reach their puberty…

Then they drop it. No big deal.

Anonymous wrote:Many 12 year olds are swimming 5-6 days a week….

And burnt out and hate swimming when they reach their puberty…

Anonymous wrote:In nvsl it takes at least 6 kids per age group in a meet not 3.

Ask the team rep where your kid is in the ladder (times). That will show him how far off he is of making the a meets. You may consider having him focus on a different stroke at a b meet and in practice if he is closer in a less favored stroke.

But it’s 3 per team.

Anonymous wrote:DS12 started swimming late at age 9. He has improved steadily and went from being DQed to getting into A meets once or twice. He is 4th so doesn’t get picked. He is hungry for more and is starting to get disappointed because he is so close. It doesn’t help that the kids who get picked are his good friends.

He does year round swim 2x/week. How can we help him get better and/or manage expectations? If you were in a similar situation, did your son find it useful to continue?

If he swims for club, the main focus/expectation should be getting into JO cuts. summer swim is just for fun and all about short distance. our pool has many 25m champions who never made to JO. also some kids (like mine) made to JO but didn't make to A meet. but they are super happy not to get up early to swim A meet, instead, they do all the volunteering works, cutting ribbons, announcers, breaking down tents etc, and got all the leftover junk good.

Next year join a lower division pool.
We are division N and my kid doesn’t swim year round at all anymore ( she used to) but but still swims 3 events in A meets.
People join the high ranking swim teams and this is what happens.

I would second that he should ask his coach what he can work on. Good life skill beyond swimming to boot.

There is probably a technique he could really clean up, particularly if he is only swimming two days/week rear-round. Does he breathe off his turn? Is he working his underwaters? Is he keeping his head down until the finish? Is he speeding up after the flags? Does he get a powerful push off the wall? How is his streamline? Does he have his backstroke count down? What about his dive?

Most coaches would be thrilled to have. A kid who shows initiative and is actively trying to get better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many 12 year olds are swimming 5-6 days a week….

OP: they really are quite good. The three other kids who make the A-meet are 2x/weeks swimmer and swim with him so the heartburn. He enjoys the sport, so that’s good.

It may take your DS more days per week of winter swim to train up and keep up. IME 2x/week doesn't really create much actual progress, especially in a less competitive environment. I have a DC who has experienced this too.

In the meantime, take some private lessons with the summer coaches to improve strokes and starts. Swim every B meet to try to drop time. If the dates don't matter to you, save weekend travel for after swim season so DS can sub in when others are away. And remember that puberty is coming: the boys that grow first are going to be most of next year's A meet roster. DS could be one of them - or not. That's a tough situation to manage too, so it's good to prepare for it gradually.

In nvsl it takes at least 6 kids per age group in a meet not 3.

Ask the team rep where your kid is in the ladder (times). That will show him how far off he is of making the a meets. You may consider having him focus on a different stroke at a b meet and in practice if he is closer in a less favored stroke.

Anonymous wrote:Many 12 year olds are swimming 5-6 days a week….

OP: they really are quite good. The three other kids who make the A-meet are 2x/weeks swimmer and swim with him so the heartburn. He enjoys the sport, so that’s good.

Many 12 year olds are swimming 5-6 days a week….

DS12 started swimming late at age 9. He has improved steadily and went from being DQed to getting into A meets once or twice. He is 4th so doesn’t get picked. He is hungry for more and is starting to get disappointed because he is so close. It doesn’t help that the kids who get picked are his good friends.

He does year round swim 2x/week. How can we help him get better and/or manage expectations? If you were in a similar situation, did your son find it useful to continue?