If he hasn't had 1/3 of the class be better than him at something he hasn't yet been able to determine how he feels about that.

At 20, mist successful people have already earned few millions, done TED talk, made it to TV etc. They aren't hopping from college to college in some psychological pursuit to feel valuable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he went to MIT 100% there would be someone better than he is. Flip out time.

He doesn't care if there is someone better than him. He wants to be where the best are at.

If he couldn't get in there on first try, may be he isn't the best and doesn't belong there?

The best at what? The best drop out of school and start their own companies. How can he live with the shame of not pursuing that path?

What is it that you want to do about it exactly?

Anonymous wrote:If he went to MIT 100% there would be someone better than he is. Flip out time.

He doesn't care if there is someone better than him. He wants to be where the best are at.

You can stop bragging on online forums.

If he went to MIT 100% there would be someone better than he is. Flip out time.

Hopefully this doesnt transfer over to his love life =\
Doesnt seem very healthy.

Ambition can be a great attribute. Your kid could do very well because of it. I would not interfere unless your kid starts exhibiting mental health issues.

Gene Simmons's advice to young people for success was to work weekends for 7 years -- because it adds 2 extra years of time to earn and to get ahead.

It's certainly better to have an ambitious kid than one without motivation who can't seem to launch successfully.

Your kid's ruthless ambition also might not last forever. I was like that when I was young -- a workhorse from childhood through all my schooling and the first 15 years or so of my career.

Then around age 40, I wound up in a couple of workplaces that were so toxic that I needed therapy to deal with it. Also at the time my wife and I were raising young kids, so I had less energy and motivation to work long hours.

I realized something had to give, and found a new job that offered more work-life balance and let me take on more parenting duties so my wife could leave her own unsatisfying job and start her own business.

As relieved as I feel to have left my workhorse days behind, they helped build up the wealth and resume I needed to get (and appreciate) the job and lifestyle I have now.

Unless he says "I need to find better parents," don't worry about it.
Love him as he is.

Perfectionism. He would benefit from therapy. It reminds me of a friend who was the same way - once he got into a group of brilliant people at faang, was marginally happy for a month. Then their whole group got laid off.

Being ambitious is a blessing but being overly ambitious and never feeling enough is a curse.

Should've showed him value of small things and wins and feeling/showing gratitude.

My son is never happy with how he's doing. He says "I can always do better."
Last year, he was at a top 30 university and transferred to a top 10. He still isn't happy as he talks about wanting to go to MIT, "which is where the best go".
He got a 4.0 his first year of college and wasn't happy because that was what he expected of himself.
Also, he got a job at a big bank on Wall Street for next summer and is still looking for a better opportunity. He always says, "after this I will stop looking". But he never does stop.
It's not like he just says things. He puts in the work during summers, weekends, and holidays. He also hates going on vacation.

Should I do anything?