Anonymous wrote:Get your name added to your mom's checking account. You'll need want access to funds if she becomes unable to manage bills, or when closing out accounts (things like credit cards) after she dies.

Even if your name is on the account, after she dies the bank will first freeze and then close the account even if your name is on it. Then the estate has to apply to get the money. If you do this you’d better quickly transfer the money to one of your own accounts (owned just by you) if you need the money for funeral expenses etc.

Get your name added to your mom's checking account. You'll need want access to funds if she becomes unable to manage bills, or when closing out accounts (things like credit cards) after she dies.

Have her sign over the title to any vehicles to you now.

Be certain beneficiary details for any retirement or investment accounts are up to date.

Similar thread:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/1125809.page

Set up a password manager and make sure you also have access. You’ll want to be able to access accounts and manage them remotely.

All of the above. And if it gets to the point where either she can’t safely live alone and/or you can’t realistically take care of them, it’s ok for facility placement

Have her sign HIPPA forms to put you on all her drs NOW. This was one of the biggest issues for me when my mom, who was my dad's caretaker, broke her hip (caring for him, he fell on her)-dad wasn't cognitively able to assist with drs. and all her hippa forms had been signed years earlier when he was. We hadn't expected HER to be the one hospitalized.

The other pp's here have good suggestions, pretty much all of which I have done. One thing I thought of-have an OT or PT come to the home and look around and make suggestions for safety ideas. For example, ours had us remove area rugs, ect. Does she have at least one door with a ramp/no step?

PP here again. I asked my DH for his input to your post. He said:
Make decisions now, before your parent needs it, as to where they will live once they can no longer live alone.
Make decisions now about funeral arrangements. Cremation? Burial?

Make sure their will is up to date. Make sure you know about all life insurance policies, stocks, etc. Do a trust if they have any resources.

My own parents, and grandparents, and FIL all died around age 80. But my MIL is 89 and still with us. So she is the person with whom we are learning what to do.
Number one is having a relative living nearby. For us that is husband's sister. This is not always possible of course.

Things we have done:

Lockbox outside with keys to the house. It's a lockbox like realtors have on houses, with a combination to unlock it. We have the lockbox in kind of a discrete place, but still findable if needed. That way if 911 needs to be called, you can tell them the combo to the lockbox instead of them having to break down the door to get inside the house.

Security cameras inside and outside the house. We have one for the carport, one for the back yard, one for the living room and one for the kitchen. I wish we had one for the front yard as well.
We can all access the security cameras any time we want to check on her. Since the cameras are not in the bedroom / bathroom areas, she still has privacy.

She wears one of those "I've fallen and can't get up" necklaces, but she has never used it, even though she has fallen several times.
The service costs about $60 a month.

She has a yard guy.

My SIL is on all her financial stuff.

My mother is 89 and she has an Apple Watch so if she falls she can quickly reach 911. I do her taxes and we use the same financial advisor so I’m always up to date on her finances. She is still sharp mentally so she pays her own bills but I periodically review them with her especially on home repair projects so she doesn’t get ripped off. She lives alone and when I’m away for an extended period I have people checking on her every couple of days such as a driver to take her shopping, a physical therapist plus others. Regardless, I always worry about her.

My mother suffered a fall recently and it's changed so many things - mentally, emotionally - everything has changed.

I would appreciate tips that helped you prepare your elderly for this stage such as setting up their phones, finances etc

thanks!