Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:51
Subject: "help yourself to food"
Breakfast is over the top. She is taking advantage.
Dinner is questionable. Does she live alone? If not why can't she eat with them? 6 isn't late.
Dinner is questionable. Does she live alone? If not why can't she eat with them? 6 isn't late.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:42
Subject: Re:"help yourself to food"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Does she cook 3 meals a day for your kid(s)? Is she eating some of what she cooks for them?
She makes lunch and sometimes dinner for the kids. They are typically done with breakfast by the time she starts. She will usually eat breakfast on the go type items I have for myself (store bought overnight oats, frozen breakfast sandwiches), not just make like a piece of toast. She sometimes eats the kids meal for lunch and dinner (whether she cooks it or I do) and sometimes makes her own thing like a frozen meal. I've offered that she's more than welcome to take over the bottom drawer in our fridge to bring food she likes for herself to keep here and she just says she's not picky (and is therefore just happy to eat our food).
On one hand it feels petty to care about, on the other it easily adds up to $50-100 a week and I've changed what I buy because of it (for example I used to buy myself some fancy soda thing from Trader Joes that's $1.99 that I'd drink as an alternative to an alcohol drink on occasionally...she'd have at least 1 a day whenever they were in the house so I stopped buying them entirely). If it was just a $2 soda a day, that'd be fine, but when its a $4.50 breakfast oats, a $7 frozen lunch, $5 in various canned drinks, half a container of $5 berries, a $2 ice cream sandwich, + dinner all in one day ...it adds up to a lot more than just a couple bucks a day.
Yes, you need to say something.
“Larla, I am setting apart the bottom drawer for you so that you can bring your lunches and store them there. Meals and lunches are not part of your compensation package.”
I’m sure somebody here will have a much nicer and more elegant way to phrase it. She is full on taking advantage of you or clueless. She’s eating the food you’re buying for yourself.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:35
Subject: Re:"help yourself to food"
Anonymous wrote:Does she cook 3 meals a day for your kid(s)? Is she eating some of what she cooks for them?
She makes lunch and sometimes dinner for the kids. They are typically done with breakfast by the time she starts. She will usually eat breakfast on the go type items I have for myself (store bought overnight oats, frozen breakfast sandwiches), not just make like a piece of toast. She sometimes eats the kids meal for lunch and dinner (whether she cooks it or I do) and sometimes makes her own thing like a frozen meal. I've offered that she's more than welcome to take over the bottom drawer in our fridge to bring food she likes for herself to keep here and she just says she's not picky (and is therefore just happy to eat our food).
On one hand it feels petty to care about, on the other it easily adds up to $50-100 a week and I've changed what I buy because of it (for example I used to buy myself some fancy soda thing from Trader Joes that's $1.99 that I'd drink as an alternative to an alcohol drink on occasionally...she'd have at least 1 a day whenever they were in the house so I stopped buying them entirely). If it was just a $2 soda a day, that'd be fine, but when its a $4.50 breakfast oats, a $7 frozen lunch, $5 in various canned drinks, half a container of $5 berries, a $2 ice cream sandwich, + dinner all in one day ...it adds up to a lot more than just a couple bucks a day.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:33
Subject: "help yourself to food"
Anonymous wrote:Why would you be surprised? She's doing as you offered.
I'm not rich, but I'm fine with them eating/drinking whatever is in the kitchen (aside from alcohol) and smoothies.
Help yourself to food doesn’t mean all your three meals at my house and then charge your smoothies to the nanny card.
It doesn’t mean I’m going to feed you regularly.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:32
Subject: Re:"help yourself to food"
If she’s working 10 hours a day, it makes sense that she’s eating more than once per day in your home. All 3 meals per day and snacks and beverages amounts to additional compensation, which I’d take into consideration when deciding when/how much to raise her salary. If there’s something you’re planning to serve for a specific meal/event, leave a note on it so she knows it’s off limits.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:18
Subject: "help yourself to food"
Anonymous wrote:I'd be turned off by her character and not want someone like that in my house.
She should be offering ways to save you money, not spend your money. What if you run out and have to let her go?
Coffee, smoothies, and canned beverages are not necessities.
Why should the nanny be offering ways to save you money?
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:16
Subject: "help yourself to food"
I'd be turned off by her character and not want someone like that in my house.
She should be offering ways to save you money, not spend your money. What if you run out and have to let her go?
Coffee, smoothies, and canned beverages are not necessities.
She should be offering ways to save you money, not spend your money. What if you run out and have to let her go?
Coffee, smoothies, and canned beverages are not necessities.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:14
Subject: Re:"help yourself to food"
Does she cook 3 meals a day for your kid(s)? Is she eating some of what she cooks for them?
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:11
Subject: "help yourself to food"
I find three meals a day surprising.. I mean you did offer but I would think that would mean just lunch to most people. Our nanny only ate our food when something unexpected happened and she always let us know...
Snacks...ell I think it is ok for them to have something with your child. I also think it is fine to set an overall budget for the week for snacks and outings.
Snacks...ell I think it is ok for them to have something with your child. I also think it is fine to set an overall budget for the week for snacks and outings.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:11
Subject: "help yourself to food"
Is she feeding your kids 3 meals a day? If she is I think it’s normal she would eat with them.
I’m a parent now but was a Nanny years ago. I always ate breakfast and lunch with the kids and we all ate the same thing.
A $10 smoothie is taking advantage a bit imo.
But if you’ve asked her to take kid to get a smoothie it does make sense for her to get one too… but a small one.
I’m a parent now but was a Nanny years ago. I always ate breakfast and lunch with the kids and we all ate the same thing.
A $10 smoothie is taking advantage a bit imo.
But if you’ve asked her to take kid to get a smoothie it does make sense for her to get one too… but a small one.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:10
Subject: "help yourself to food"
Three meals a day is excessive, yes. Drinks, eh. One in the morning and one in the afternoon and sometimes an extra isn't a huge deal.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:10
Subject: "help yourself to food"
Totally taking advantage your generosity.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:09
Subject: "help yourself to food"
Yes, that is a bit much. I think if I told somebody to help themselves, I wouldn’t imagine them eating everything or so much. She is clueless so maybe you have to have a conversation about what she can have. Also, I would tell her that The nanny card is for her charge only.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:08
Subject: "help yourself to food"
Why would you be surprised? She's doing as you offered.
I'm not rich, but I'm fine with them eating/drinking whatever is in the kitchen (aside from alcohol) and smoothies.
I'm not rich, but I'm fine with them eating/drinking whatever is in the kitchen (aside from alcohol) and smoothies.
Anonymous
06/10/2024 14:06
Subject: "help yourself to food"
If you tell your nanny that they're welcome to food, would you still be very surprised if they used your food for 3 meals a day for themselves every day and drank 2-3 of your canned beverages a day? (they work 8-6)?
Separately, how about if they regularly (1-2x a week) bought themselves $10 smoothies on the nanny card while getting a snack out for your kid?
This is our 3rd nanny (nanny changes due to moves, not conflicts with nannies) and neither of the previous two did this. They'd get themselves a snack if they were hungry or occasionally buy themselves a coffee or smoothie on our tab which I welcomed but both supplied the large majority of their own food and drink each day. I trying to gauge if currently nanny is out of realm of typical or if its just not what our previous two nannies did.
Separately, how about if they regularly (1-2x a week) bought themselves $10 smoothies on the nanny card while getting a snack out for your kid?
This is our 3rd nanny (nanny changes due to moves, not conflicts with nannies) and neither of the previous two did this. They'd get themselves a snack if they were hungry or occasionally buy themselves a coffee or smoothie on our tab which I welcomed but both supplied the large majority of their own food and drink each day. I trying to gauge if currently nanny is out of realm of typical or if its just not what our previous two nannies did.