Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dweller who lives in a condo here. When I was in my 20s I considered it to be a failure to live in the suburbs! As someone who grew up in the suburbs, I thought of people who lived in the suburbs as the ones who never left home or who stayed close to home. The people who really made it were the ones who moved to the big city.

I am in my 40s now and no longer think that. But, as someone who enjoys being able to walk to things and who hates to drive, I would personally consider it giving up or selling out if I moved to the ‘burbs. It is part of the reason why I live in a condo. I don’t want to live in the suburbs but also don’t want to pay the price for a city house. I also don’t particularly want to live in the neighborhoods in DC with SFHs that are more affordable for me because they are less walkable than where I currently live.

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

Actually no. According to Pew, 46% of American adults would like to like to live in the suburbs (up slightly from 42% pre-Covid). 19% prefer to live in an urban setting (down fro 23% pre-Covid) and the percent who prefer rural areas has stayed steady at about 35% over the same time.

I should also note that it's incorrect to frame condo living and suburban living in opposition to each other -- many suburban homes are condos or townhomes. The link is that people who want to live in detached SFHs may choose to move to the suburbs in order to do so because these homes tend to be more affordable and provide better access to good schools in the suburbs. However, people who love to the suburbs in order to buy SFHs may view it as a compromise, accepting what they might view as downsides of suburban life (more driving, less convenience, more limited access to cultural activities) in favor of the upside of having a detached SFH (more space, a yard, greater control). But likewise many urban condo dwellers may acknowledge the downside to living in a condo (shared walls, no private green space, condo fees and boards) but be willing to accept them because it's the only way for the to afford to live in an urban center that has other qualities they value (walkability, proximity to amenities, fewer yard and household maintenance responsibilities).

Most people are not wealthy and therefore generally have to make at least some concessions about their living situation. It winds up being a function of ranked priorities. If you asked the average suburbanite if they would like a shorter commute or to have a great restaurant or coffee shop walking distance from their house, any would say of course, but they wouldn't be willing to move to a dense city neighborhood to get those things. And it would be the same if you asked the average urban condo dweller if they would like a nice yard a to never have to hear their upstairs neighbors again but that doesn't mean they are on the verge of moving.

Which is why these debates are silly. Different people value different things. They also tend to shift their values over time depending on life circustances. This is normal and fine and not a problem.

Why is it a failure? Care to elaborate, OP? Your post doesn’t make any sense as written.

I'd rather live at my lake house
- is that what you meant Op?

No. I think many people prefer it at some point. Trying to live in the city forever isn't desirable to a lot of people for a number of reasons.

It's the dream for most.

No. I’ve never heard anyone say this.

Well, it’s a failure if your goal was to live somewhere else and you can’t make it happen. I personally could never see myself going back to a place where I had to share a wall, but that’s my personal choice. My spouse wanted to get a condo or townhome as a vacation home and I couldn’t even do that, I just don’t like it.

Other people are more tolerant of the downsides and enjoy being in the very immediate area of lots of people and activities.

Stay in your condo. It's very safe.

Absolutely.

It's giving up, accepting monotony, rigidity and boredom for perceived security.

Anonymous wrote:The great majority of Americans live in the suburbs. Rich, poor, middle class.

What are you trying to imply? A lot of DC is quite suburban-like in vibes and in other cities higher density areas exist in the suburbs while lower density areas exist inside the city limits (like NYC).

I think this thread is a direct response to the "Is living in a condo considered a failure?" thread from earlier in the week

Of course it is not a failure but people like to get competitive about this stuff and likely the same people who claimed living in a condo is a failure will be quite defensive about the idea that living in the suburbs could be a failure

None of this is "a failure"

No

The great majority of Americans live in the suburbs. Rich, poor, middle class.

What are you trying to imply? A lot of DC is quite suburban-like in vibes and in other cities higher density areas exist in the suburbs while lower density areas exist inside the city limits (like NYC).

?