Anonymous wrote:My 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up shortly, and I’m being hounded by family and friends to propose to her. My parents have told me to not let her get away, as well as many of my closest friends. My girlfriend and I have had a great relationship but I’m just not ready. I love her but I feel 1 year is too short to make a lifelong commitment, and I don’t see the rush.

It depends. If you are 20, your hesitation makes sense, if you are 30+, she'll move on. Your hesitation tell me either she isn't the one for you or you like to browse not shop hoping someone better would come up. In the end you'll find your soul mate or just compromise and settle out of fear with whoever is around and willing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how old you and she are and whether you want children. Women don't universally expect it, but what matters is what this particular woman wants.

If she wants kids, the honorable thing to do is to make a decision so that she doesn't waste her fertile years on someone who doesn't like her enough to marry her.

OP here. We both want kids but she just finished her degree last year
( advanced) and started a new job. She has said she won’t be having kids until 30 because she wants to cement her new career first.

Okay, so 30 is not far away! If you're going to propose, then be engaged for a year as you plan a wedding, and then get pregnant and be pregnant for 9 months, then proposing today would result in having a kid when she is 30 and you are 37. You need to open your eyes to this very normal timeline. No doubt she is thinking of it, and all your relatives are too. At 35, you really should be aware of this.

Ask yourself, do you want to be an old dad? Or a medium-age dad? Because you are headed straight for old dad at the rate you are going.

Anonymous wrote:The 1 year mark is a totally arbitrary way to decide when to make this type of commitment. It just matters that you are on the same page and it sounds like you are. Everyone else can cool it.

+1 Wait another 6-12 months then make a decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you two?

Why do you feel like you’re not ready to make a life long commitment? Is it something about her, or something about commitment?

OP here. I’m in love with and see a future with her. I’ve never thought about marrying a woman before I met her. It’s still just scary because my family doesn’t believe in divorce and it’s a lifelong commitment. I don’t feel like there is a rush when it’s a decision that can determine the rest of your life.

The rush is to have children before you are too old, or at least older than you want to be.

And because it's all too common for men to string women along and then not marry them. Try to think about her, her interests, her vulnerabilities here, rather than just you you you and what you want.

The 1 year mark is a totally arbitrary way to decide when to make this type of commitment. It just matters that you are on the same page and it sounds like you are. Everyone else can cool it.

Anonymous wrote:How old are you two?

Why do you feel like you’re not ready to make a life long commitment? Is it something about her, or something about commitment?

OP here. I’m in love with and see a future with her. I’ve never thought about marrying a woman before I met her. It’s still just scary because my family doesn’t believe in divorce and it’s a lifelong commitment. I don’t feel like there is a rush when it’s a decision that can determine the rest of your life.

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how old you and she are and whether you want children. Women don't universally expect it, but what matters is what this particular woman wants.

If she wants kids, the honorable thing to do is to make a decision so that she doesn't waste her fertile years on someone who doesn't like her enough to marry her.

OP here. We both want kids but she just finished her degree last year
( advanced) and started a new job. She has said she won’t be having kids until 30 because she wants to cement her new career first.

OP here. We talked last month about marriage and she said she is in no rush. If it happens, it happens, but she doesn’t need a timeline of for her life.

She just turned 28. I’m 35.

The two couples I know who got married quickly after meeting instead of the 2-3 year courtship are now headed for divorce. It makes me nervous because it’s a lifelong commitment.

If you are in your mid 20s and up, one year is enough time to know.

23 months from our first date to marriage. Just celebrated 40 years together.

How old are you two?

Why do you feel like you’re not ready to make a life long commitment? Is it something about her, or something about commitment?

Depends on how old you and she are and whether you want children. Women don't universally expect it, but what matters is what this particular woman wants.

If she wants kids, the honorable thing to do is to make a decision so that she doesn't waste her fertile years on someone who doesn't like her enough to marry her.

Depends on your age. If you are in your 30s after a year there should be discussion. Dont waste her time. 20s more flexible usually but more than a few years and no plans is a red flag

What does your girlfriend think? She's the only one that matters here.

What does she want?

We got engaged after 1.5 years of dating, and we bought a house together, though DH said he knew I was the one after like 6 months. He just didn't see the need to get married, but he knew that I wanted to eventually get married.

You need to talk to her.

My 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up shortly, and I’m being hounded by family and friends to propose to her. My parents have told me to not let her get away, as well as many of my closest friends. My girlfriend and I have had a great relationship but I’m just not ready. I love her but I feel 1 year is too short to make a lifelong commitment, and I don’t see the rush.