My fully employed STBXW offered to pay about four times during our courtship and 18 year marriage… and those offers were usually empty gestures. And she claimed to be a “strong independent” feminist

If I were ever to date again, I’m sure I would initially insist on paying, but after a couple of dates, it sure would be refreshing to get an honest offer to split the bill from time to time.

I’m a man in my 40s and always pay. I’m also dating much younger women.

It’s pretty common after 2-3 dates for the woman to offer to pay for lunch or to go for drinks. Or after dinner to walk for drinks or dessert and then to pay.

Do you have a job, OP? Why do you not think you should pick up half the time?

I'm a woman and have always believed in paying for my share. I'm not a princess who needs to be taken care of. This is the age of equality. I suggest you get on board.

Oh, I'm 46 if that matters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

And if I picked up on your sense of entitlement, you would not have been asked out on a 2nd date.

I had a lot of suitors back in the day. I have never had a guy not buy on a first date.

I also have a daughter. She is still young but I would hope a worthy guy would want to take her out to dinner. I would still want her to be treated well by a man.

She can be treated by a man and also treat a man. Why is it all on him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you go find out for your self? I’m a guy but I’m older and I still believe in picking up the check.

I’m married with two sons. I was more curious for them.

I'm married with 2 daughters and I make them well aware they should take on 50% of dating expenses. The door of equality swings both ways.

My husband and I still 'go Dutch' and we've been together almost 25 years. Of course, we have a common pot for shared expenses and the kids, etc. We also have financial autonomy. It works for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

And if I picked up on your sense of entitlement, you would not have been asked out on a 2nd date.

I had a lot of suitors back in the day. I have never had a guy not buy on a first date.

I also have a daughter. She is still young but I would hope a worthy guy would want to take her out to dinner. I would still want her to be treated well by a man.

Man here. 1st date or 2nd date fine. Usually I would have an offer to split the bill, or pay the tip which I would politely decline. It the sense of entitlement that if I got those vibes, no 2nd date.

My DS (30) dates via the dating apps. I know he pays because he says it’s expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

And if I picked up on your sense of entitlement, you would not have been asked out on a 2nd date.

I had a lot of suitors back in the day. I have never had a guy not buy on a first date.

I also have a daughter. She is still young but I would hope a worthy guy would want to take her out to dinner. I would still want her to be treated well by a man.

It definitely happens. I am a guy and thinks it is weird. I am married also, but have friends and relatives that participate in these shenanigans.

I am mid 40s and divorced. I usually date younger men (30s). They always pay.

When I was dating 20 years ago, the guys also always paid. If I was in a relationship, then eventually I split costs or paid sometimes.

I don't think it has changed at least for people 30 and above. I have no idea about 20s.

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

And if I picked up on your sense of entitlement, you would not have been asked out on a 2nd date.

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you go find out for your self? I’m a guy but I’m older and I still believe in picking up the check.

I’m married with two sons. I was more curious for them.

Why don’t you go find out for your self? I’m a guy but I’m older and I still believe in picking up the check.

Well lucky you aren’t dating these days I guess? What’s the point of this post?

My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.