Anonymous wrote:Restaurant gift card
Though I think it would be super tacky to have a wedding after having kids and then not invite anyone but send out an announcement.

To Dead Lobster

I'd give $100

I think it’s weird that you wrote all this backstory info when all you had to say was they are having a private wedding ceremony to which you’re not invited but you anticipate getting an announcement of their marriage and you are not very close w them plus they’re already established as a couple not young and broke and just starting out. That’s the only info we need.

I’d send them a congrats card and include $100 check if that’s in your budget.

Restaurant gift card
Though I think it would be super tacky to have a wedding after having kids and then not invite anyone but send out an announcement.

Anonymous wrote:Send a box of wedding invitations.

I snort laughed

For real though, give what you can give without resentment. If that’s a card, fine. Any sum of money, fine.

Send a box of wedding invitations.

I'd keep it under $100. It's nice of you to send a gift.

Once you get the announcement send a card. If no announcement, I'd do nothing. They have money and are established with kids, so it's not the usual wedding of two young people who lack everything, who the wedding gifts are for.

They've two kids together, its not a traditional marriage and they aren't throwing a traditional wedding party so its not a traditional wedding. You don't need to be going all traditional with a big gift. Congratulatory card should be enough, flowers can be a gesture of love. If they were two grad students, not throwing a party because they can't afford it, a cash gift would've been nice.

Card and flowers.

Based on his age and established place in life I'd send flowers or maybe a small gift after they get back from their trip. It reads almost more like a second marriage than a first. I do not subscribe to the "I didn't go so I don't give" world view, especially for family, but it doesn't sound like there is a regsitry or anything of that nature and they already have a fully stocked home.

$100

Same as above

I would send a congratulatory card. I don't send a gift unless I am invited to the wedding.

Our oldest nephew is 30. His family moved to the West Coast and we see him briefly every few years if his parents are in town for an event like a funeral or wedding - otherwise, no contact. He and his fiance have two children - when they lived here, I met the fiance twice, briefly, saw their daughter once, never got to meet their son.

He is a lucrative realtor, wife is a stay at home mom. His parents gave them a substantial check to put towards a wedding, and they have elected to take the $ and go to Fiji for two weeks - their wedding ceremony will be private.

I am sure we will get a wedding announcement after the fact. What would you give? We are cordial but not close. I attended a different nephew's wedding last year (DH's side of the family) along with our son, and gave the couple, who we know well, $500.

What do you send in response to an announcement from family member if you aren't invited to wedding? I want to acknowledge their special day, but we are not particularly close to them.