Oops - the above should say "counting" not "county"

Ours has been a disaster. A bunch of new kids coming into 9th, and I'm still not sure that the class has gelled. The schedule for my kid has been gruelling, and, as a 14-year-old boy, he simply lacks the maturity or executive functioning to take on the level of responsibility asked of him. There is a lot in the middle here that I won't go into for purposes of my kid's privacy, but the end of the story is that he's repeating 9th grade. Yes, my kid needs to take responsibility, but I don't think we would be where we are if my kid had been at a different school. Not sure what we are doing next year. I'm just trying to figure out the last two weeks of school. We might move to a small college town with good public schools and change our overall pace of life. Last kid, we have flexibility, and his well-being and my sanity are more important than being at the big name school he currently attends. At least for 9 more days, but I'm not county...

When I posted back in late September or October my dd was very happy with her social life and her varsity sports team but had neglected to do much school work. She is still doing great socially and with sports and the academics are improving thanks to a lot of support from the school and an executive coach for her ADHD. High school academics are no joke at her school, we realized she had coasted through middle school on her charm and this is definitely not going to fly in high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD started off strong found a large group of friends but that group brought DRAMA and bad decisions
winter was a downer, exclusion from mean girl/boy behavior and reluctance to move on
Spring through some perseverance and focus on self she is seeing results from hard work i. her grades and buckling down for year long finals.
still not sure if we are returning to the school or going public. 2 weeks left to figure it out
whatever it is i’m hoping a summer away will bring about a bigger outlook on life and get away from the microcosm of the “in-crowd”

We are in a similar boat. Its not easy. My son's year started off great, made the fall sports team he wanted and all was going as well as it could have gone, but after the season ended there was some drama and bad decisions involving the few friends from the team he had classes with. We are also considering the switch to public also. If he goes back I will make sure he sticks with a spring club after the sports team is done. I'm sorry your daughter is dealing with this too.

we have a graduating senior and our daughter is going through similar. if it helps the friend groups shift throughout HS. Our senior”s groups shifted every year and this year her group is back to the one she started with. There have been a small number of friends that have remained throughout the 4 years. Our friends report similar, constant shifting while they find themselves and what works best for them.
I hope this helps your 9th graders who are struggling. There are other fish and they aren’t the only ones moving away from wrong fits and finding new tribes.
we tell our youngest this but it is still hard. i think once she finds a new group it will be better but we also aren’t ruling out a return to public

Anonymous wrote:DD started off strong found a large group of friends but that group brought DRAMA and bad decisions
winter was a downer, exclusion from mean girl/boy behavior and reluctance to move on
Spring through some perseverance and focus on self she is seeing results from hard work i. her grades and buckling down for year long finals.
still not sure if we are returning to the school or going public. 2 weeks left to figure it out
whatever it is i’m hoping a summer away will bring about a bigger outlook on life and get away from the microcosm of the “in-crowd”

We are in a similar boat. Its not easy. My son's year started off great, made the fall sports team he wanted and all was going as well as it could have gone, but after the season ended there was some drama and bad decisions involving the few friends from the team he had classes with. We are also considering the switch to public also. If he goes back I will make sure he sticks with a spring club after the sports team is done. I'm sorry your daughter is dealing with this too.

Our 9th grader had a hard time until just after the new year. It got better socially. Academically, it has been fine. I noticed a few things from our experience that hopefully helps anyone starting 9th, especially at a new school or a 9-12. Doing a sport or getting involved deeply in something like drama, music, etc. from the beginning helps a lot (ours didn't). Know that dynamics will shift as the months go on throughout the year, although there seems to be less shifting around March/April. As a parent, volunteer, whether you work or not and anytime you can. If there are any events or meet-ups before school starts, go to them/do them.

DD started off strong found a large group of friends but that group brought DRAMA and bad decisions
winter was a downer, exclusion from mean girl/boy behavior and reluctance to move on
Spring through some perseverance and focus on self she is seeing results from hard work i. her grades and buckling down for year long finals.
still not sure if we are returning to the school or going public. 2 weeks left to figure it out
whatever it is i’m hoping a summer away will bring about a bigger outlook on life and get away from the microcosm of the “in-crowd”

Big 3. DC has found some nice friends and the teachers overall are pretty good but the school lives up to its very bad reputation of having families who are slimy in their approaches to competition for colleges.

It's not a healthy environment and they have seen a lot of calculating families who try to do things to knock out or neutralize competition even starting in 9th. I don't want to get into specifics because it might out the school but it's consistent with what people write on this board and in the national media.

Anonymous wrote:I started such a thread in the fall because I was worried about my 9th grade DD feeling awkward and generally alone outside of or two close friends, because most of the kids knew each other already. I am happy to report that things are going much better in the spring. She's finally starting to get to know some of the lifers. She's not invited to that much outside of school, but in school she is happy and does not feel awkward when she attends events because she knows people now and can usually find someone to talk to in most classes or activities. She is also doing great academically.

It just took some time. I would imagine for some kids, it will still take more time.

I’m really happy to hear this! Congrats to your kid, I’m glad she’s settling in a doing well.

I don't have a freshman, but I love this follow-up thread.

I started such a thread in the fall because I was worried about my 9th grade DD feeling awkward and generally alone outside of or two close friends, because most of the kids knew each other already. I am happy to report that things are going much better in the spring. She's finally starting to get to know some of the lifers. She's not invited to that much outside of school, but in school she is happy and does not feel awkward when she attends events because she knows people now and can usually find someone to talk to in most classes or activities. She is also doing great academically.

It just took some time. I would imagine for some kids, it will still take more time.

Very happy. DS came from a K-8 school to a new high school. We initially didn’t think it was the right fit for him but it’s been great so far. My little quirky , socially awkward little boy is turning into a confident young man. We are blessed.

Ours is happy, enjoying the academics, very comfortable socially at the new school but yet to make super-close friends.

Love this follow up post. Ours found their groove after winter break. Decided to drop an advanced track for next year, Made some good school friends and took some pressure off themselves with grades. It definitely got much better.

Earlier in the year there was a post about the beginning of freshman year. Checking back on how everyone is doing now that school is starting to wrap up. Our DS had a generally great year, finding activities and sports he is interested, expanding his friend group, and traveling. Academically, he has one (out of seven) bumpy class, but overall I feel we are at a much stronger and settled place than in the Fall.