Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he built off your negativity. His first statement was innocuous but your response might have pushed that conversation in another direction

Hmm I can maybe see that.

I’ll give a little more context. The night prior, he had asked me randomly, again for about the fourth time recently would I get consider getting a BBL. He keeps bringing up the plastic surgery on my butt and then he laughs about it and turns around and says “you know I’m just joking”. I told him continuously asking about me getting plastic surgery on my body isn’t funny. Fast forward about 10 minutes later he asked me if I looked at engagement rings to see what style I liked but then laughed and said “or we could just leave our situation the way it is”. Followed by his favorite line, “you know that I’m just joking”. I obviously didn’t laugh. He said he wanted me to be “soft”. I responded that he makes a lot of passive aggressive “jokes” and although we can and should joke with each other, personal jabs aren’t healthy. He said he agreed with me. So when this came up tonight it was kind of like a forehead smack because we had just talked about this the day before.

Hmm. I don't think you're being honest about any of this, but on the tiny chance you are what are getting out of this relationship?

Why would I lie about something like this? But to answer your question he’s not all bad or I wouldn’t be with him. He’ll say and do a lot of good things but turn around and say dumb things too. There’s a lot of good in him but this part…I admit is pretty bad IMO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he built off your negativity. His first statement was innocuous but your response might have pushed that conversation in another direction

Hmm I can maybe see that.

I’ll give a little more context. The night prior, he had asked me randomly, again for about the fourth time recently would I get consider getting a BBL. He keeps bringing up the plastic surgery on my butt and then he laughs about it and turns around and says “you know I’m just joking”. I told him continuously asking about me getting plastic surgery on my body isn’t funny. Fast forward about 10 minutes later he asked me if I looked at engagement rings to see what style I liked but then laughed and said “or we could just leave our situation the way it is”. Followed by his favorite line, “you know that I’m just joking”. I obviously didn’t laugh. He said he wanted me to be “soft”. I responded that he makes a lot of passive aggressive “jokes” and although we can and should joke with each other, personal jabs aren’t healthy. He said he agreed with me. So when this came up tonight it was kind of like a forehead smack because we had just talked about this the day before.

Hmm. I don't think you're being honest about any of this, but on the tiny chance you are what are getting out of this relationship?

He's an immature dweeb. dump him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he built off your negativity. His first statement was innocuous but your response might have pushed that conversation in another direction

Hmm I can maybe see that.

I’ll give a little more context. The night prior, he had asked me randomly, again for about the fourth time recently would I get consider getting a BBL. He keeps bringing up the plastic surgery on my butt and then he laughs about it and turns around and says “you know I’m just joking”. I told him continuously asking about me getting plastic surgery on my body isn’t funny. Fast forward about 10 minutes later he asked me if I looked at engagement rings to see what style I liked but then laughed and said “or we could just leave our situation the way it is”. Followed by his favorite line, “you know that I’m just joking”. I obviously didn’t laugh. He said he wanted me to be “soft”. I responded that he makes a lot of passive aggressive “jokes” and although we can and should joke with each other, personal jabs aren’t healthy. He said he agreed with me. So when this came up tonight it was kind of like a forehead smack because we had just talked about this the day before.

Why are you with him?

He's a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's very aggressive to say (to anyone): "“Come on you know I was just joking. Grow up”.

Personally, I think that the people who often "just make a joke" and tell other people to "lighten up" are often just mean people. Or immature people who realize they are in the wrong but can't face that fact.

Is whe often like this?

Yes. I just replied so a DP with examples just from yesterday.

Anonymous wrote:I think he built off your negativity. His first statement was innocuous but your response might have pushed that conversation in another direction

Hmm I can maybe see that.

I’ll give a little more context. The night prior, he had asked me randomly, again for about the fourth time recently would I get consider getting a BBL. He keeps bringing up the plastic surgery on my butt and then he laughs about it and turns around and says “you know I’m just joking”. I told him continuously asking about me getting plastic surgery on my body isn’t funny. Fast forward about 10 minutes later he asked me if I looked at engagement rings to see what style I liked but then laughed and said “or we could just leave our situation the way it is”. Followed by his favorite line, “you know that I’m just joking”. I obviously didn’t laugh. He said he wanted me to be “soft”. I responded that he makes a lot of passive aggressive “jokes” and although we can and should joke with each other, personal jabs aren’t healthy. He said he agreed with me. So when this came up tonight it was kind of like a forehead smack because we had just talked about this the day before.

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's very aggressive to say (to anyone): "“Come on you know I was just joking. Grow up”.

Personally, I think that the people who often "just make a joke" and tell other people to "lighten up" are often just mean people. Or immature people who realize they are in the wrong but can't face that fact.

Is he often like this?

+100.

He's mean and wanted to get in a cheap shot. Realized it didn't land, so he turned it around and told you to grow up, when he's the one who's exceeding immature.

Honestly I'd consider dumping him. He's not building you up when you need the support the most.

I think that it's very aggressive to say (to anyone): "“Come on you know I was just joking. Grow up”.

Personally, I think that the people who often "just make a joke" and tell other people to "lighten up" are often just mean people. Or immature people who realize they are in the wrong but can't face that fact.

Is he often like this?

I think he built off your negativity. His first statement was innocuous but your response might have pushed that conversation in another direction

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Anonymous wrote:I don't think you're being sensitive at all. That was uncalled for.

+1.

He sounds like a jerk. Instead of being happy for you he wants to take passive aggressive jabs.

Based on your OP and your reply I think you are not only sensitive but an AH.

I don't think you're being sensitive at all. That was uncalled for.

Anonymous wrote:....I’ve struggled to find something since, well at least well paying anyways....

Did you get 1 year of severance? If not, then yes, you are being overly sensitive and, based on the comment above, likely too picky. In the meantime, your SO has carried you, likely without sufficient acknowledgement and appreciation from you.

It doesn't take a year to find steady employment that, at least, contributes to your household. Yet, you focus on a smidgen of snark from your SO while his work allowed you to float for a year.

I don’t live with him. He doesn’t pay my bills. He is my boyfriend, not my husband so no, he hasn’t “carried” me. I haven’t asked nor received a dime for him. So want to try that again?

Please do your research on how bad the market is before coming in here saying it shouldn’t take that long.

....I’ve struggled to find something since, well at least well paying anyways....

Did you get 1 year of severance? If not, then yes, you are being overly sensitive and, based on the comment above, likely too picky. In the meantime, your SO has carried you, likely without sufficient acknowledgement and appreciation from you.

It doesn't take a year to find steady employment that, at least, contributes to your household. Yet, you focus on a smidgen of snark from your SO while his work allowed you to float for a year.

I was laid off a year ago and I’ve struggled to find something since, well at least well paying anyways. I had some come contracting work here and there but nothing FTE. A lot of my colleagues in the same industry were/are in the same boat because the market has been absolutely awful. Luckily, I had a few interviews the past 2 weeks ago and I got an offer, looks like there’s a very very good chance of getting another tomorrow, just advanced to the next round with another company today, and got an invitation to interview with another company on Friday. I was updating my SO on me moving to the next round with another company and he said, “Where was this a year ago?”. I just stared at him. I responded with, “Really? I’ll let you answer that question”. To which he replied, “I think you wanted to take a year off and just started applying”, followed by a giggle. I looked at him and asked if that’s what he really thought and he said, “Yea”, paused then laughed again and said, “Come on you know I was just joking. Grow up”. I told him that wasn’t funny and it was stupid and he said, “I guess you want to act brand new now that you’re getting a job”. I asked him what he meant by that and he said never mind and tried to change the subject and I asked again what he meant. He finally just said that he was going to bed.

Was I being too sensitive?