There is so much more to sports than being the very best. There is value in playing high school sports, d3 college sports, etc. One can make this argument at all levels - for instance what is the point of playing D1 ball if you’re not going pro? There’s a lot to value out of the team sports experience at all levels if they want to participate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my DC joined a competitive basketball team for the first time. He is pretty good about the same as the other players on his team. This past weekend their team got destroyed at their game. They lost 0-30 something. It made me realize a couple of things:
1. All kids in our team sucked compared to the kids on the other team

2. In order to improve my DC and others on his team need to put in a lot more work. Maybe one on one coaching and more practices. But then how much should one pursue this? They still might not be as good as the other team.

3. Met a mom of a kid on my DC’s team and that kid had been on another competitive team for 2 years. This kid was not that great, maybe worse than my DC. She mentioned that her kid hardly got any play time on the other team he was on. Up until this point I was thinking that with time my DC and others will improve but if this kid has been on a competitive team for 2 years and is still not that great, what hope do I have for my own DC?

Also, it seems that a lot of this competitive/travel teams are scams if they just take everyone and then bench them?


What is the point of all this? The mom told me that for 2 years they would drive to all these games all the way to Virginia beach etc and the kid would play for maybe 5 min at the most.

So, how much time and money do you pour into sports and travel and when do you stop?

Depends how tall he is likely to be. I wouldn’t spend anything on travel basketball unless it was very likely my kid would be tall. Just being honest.

You just have to realize that you’re doing it for the kids’ enjoyment and not to get onto a high school or college team. If they don’t enjoy being on a team at that level and going to the tournaments then don’t do it.
Travel can provide a little more experience than what is provided at the rec level. For example, my DC thinks the rec league is too easy and would get upset that other kids didn’t know how to play. It’s not they were a superstar on the travel team, but they liked it better.

Great thread - provides good perspective. Can someone comment on how much of this is relevant for girls travel basketball. Are there any clubs/teams you recommend that focus on the developing the whole team? Are the top teams like Fairfax Stars, Elevate Elite just picking best players each season and cutting the rest or do they focus on player and team improvement?

Anonymous wrote:So my DC joined a competitive basketball team for the first time. He is pretty good about the same as the other players on his team. This past weekend their team got destroyed at their game. They lost 0-30 something. It made me realize a couple of things:
1. All kids in our team sucked compared to the kids on the other team

2. In order to improve my DC and others on his team need to put in a lot more work. Maybe one on one coaching and more practices. But then how much should one pursue this? They still might not be as good as the other team.

3. Met a mom of a kid on my DC’s team and that kid had been on another competitive team for 2 years. This kid was not that great, maybe worse than my DC. She mentioned that her kid hardly got any play time on the other team he was on. Up until this point I was thinking that with time my DC and others will improve but if this kid has been on a competitive team for 2 years and is still not that great, what hope do I have for my own DC?

Also, it seems that a lot of this competitive/travel teams are scams if they just take everyone and then bench them?


What is the point of all this? The mom told me that for 2 years they would drive to all these games all the way to Virginia beach etc and the kid would play for maybe 5 min at the most.

So, how much time and money do you pour into sports and travel and when do you stop?

Depends how tall he is likely to be. I wouldn’t spend anything on travel basketball unless it was very likely my kid would be tall. Just being honest.

OP here- thanks for the responses. One more thing I have realized is that just because you play on a travel/competitive team it doesn’t mean you are necessarily better than another player who hasn’t played on a travel team.

I feel like there is so much wrong with the sports culture here and the need to keep our kids in these sports and competitive teams even when we see no improvement.

I'm looking into having my kids make the transition from rec to more advanced basketball. So can't say too much about advanced basketball yet.

But did have them to start moving up in some other sports and other sports am happy to keep them in rec.

One of my beliefs is to not necessarily look at a team's win/loss record but to see how much they are developing and improving. Both as individuals and as a team.

For one sport, I'm pulling one of my kids from a winning team, where I think the team mainly won based on athleticism and one or two star players and there was no development or learning of the game. And am having them join the club that their sibling is in, which has a losing record, but I like how the coach runs practices and the team. Judging by the coach's interactions with other parents and seeing how long they've been with the club, I'd guess they feel the same way.

So keep in mind when deciding if you want to look into leaving the club/team.

Then sports takes a LOT of work individually. If not just at home, at the training place my kids go to we regularly see other kids come in with their backpacks that have the logos for their aau team on a constant basis. There was also that article in the post not too long ago that kind of details what a player at Blake goes through. I think this was the article but it's behind a paywall:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2023/12/05/baba-oladotun-blake-dematha/

From what I recall, he trains for like two hours after school with his father before going on to practice with his actual team.

And at the gym, I sometimes see players come in with their parents for training sessions before school. So it does take a lot of work individually.

And you're right, a lot of it is a money making racket.

Travel sports are a lifestyle choice.

I was top 5 in the state of NC since freshman year of HS in my sport. Went on to earn a full-ride athletic scholarship. Olympic hopeful.

Got to college and quickly realized I was probably slightly above average in my sport. Burnt out and wanted to hang it up by Jr. year--but now the school owned me (via scholarship).

Do this:

1) Google the recent stand-out basketball talents that recently graduated from the HS your son will graduate from;
2) Check out their stats and the cool articles written about them while they were in the HS;
3) Now, try to see where they went to college (and specifically which colleges they attended);
4) Did they receive basketball scholarships?;
5) How are they doing on the team?..I have a hunch.

Then, ask yourself: Are all of the investments you've just noted worth it? Or, is your son better off in a league with kids who just want to enjoy the game and get some playing time? Or, maybe consider introducing him to other sports or programs that will help better round him as an individual.

Anonymous wrote:At his age he should just shoot around on his own or with friends whenever he has free time. The more he plays (even without specific moves or plays or coaching) the better and more confident he will be. There is still plenty of time for the more advanced stuff.

He does that already. Everyday!

At his age he should just shoot around on his own or with friends whenever he has free time. The more he plays (even without specific moves or plays or coaching) the better and more confident he will be. There is still plenty of time for the more advanced stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your kid?

What is your kid’s goal for basketball?

OP here- kid is 10. Goal is to improve as a player. He enjoys playing and wants to learn plays and develop his skills. I am not expecting him to make his MS or HS basketball team just because the competition is intense.

Improve as a player, learn plays, develop skills aren’t measurable goals.

The goal of enjoying playing can be achieved on his current team.

The other things aren’t things you can measure that he achieved or didn’t. It is hard for people to improve as a player without focusing on a specific improvement or even knowing what they are trying to achieve. I recommend measuring how he is doing at something, then setting a goal of how good he would like to get within a certain amount of time. Then creating a plan to improve that skill. Dribbling moves, layup %, free throw %, rebounds, etc are all measurable basketball skills.

In the world of AAU/travel basketball, there is an enormous range of teams. Sometimes the coaches are not good at finding the right level of tournaments for your team.

Anonymous wrote:How old is your kid?

What is your kid’s goal for basketball?

OP here- kid is 10. Goal is to improve as a player. He enjoys playing and wants to learn plays and develop his skills. I am not expecting him to make his MS or HS basketball team just because the competition is intense.

How old is your kid?

What is your kid’s goal for basketball?

So my DC joined a competitive basketball team for the first time. He is pretty good about the same as the other players on his team. This past weekend their team got destroyed at their game. They lost 0-30 something. It made me realize a couple of things:
1. All kids in our team sucked compared to the kids on the other team

2. In order to improve my DC and others on his team need to put in a lot more work. Maybe one on one coaching and more practices. But then how much should one pursue this? They still might not be as good as the other team.

3. Met a mom of a kid on my DC’s team and that kid had been on another competitive team for 2 years. This kid was not that great, maybe worse than my DC. She mentioned that her kid hardly got any play time on the other team he was on. Up until this point I was thinking that with time my DC and others will improve but if this kid has been on a competitive team for 2 years and is still not that great, what hope do I have for my own DC?

Also, it seems that a lot of this competitive/travel teams are scams if they just take everyone and then bench them?


What is the point of all this? The mom told me that for 2 years they would drive to all these games all the way to Virginia beach etc and the kid would play for maybe 5 min at the most.

So, how much time and money do you pour into sports and travel and when do you stop?