Anonymous wrote:Do they require proof of military service yearly? I would assume if you divorce and he gets new orders you dont have to go but the kids might? How does that work?

Wife of a retired military member here (he was active duty for 16 years of our marriage.)

Generally what I've seen when a couple divorces and the military members gets orders to a different duty station, the kids stay with the non-military parent.
Depending on his branch/MOS (the specific job he has in the military) he might need to deploy with only a day or two notice, so if the military member is the one with physical custody of the kids his command would require him to come up with a plan of who would be able to care for the kids in his absence.

Do they require proof of military service yearly? I would assume if you divorce and he gets new orders you dont have to go but the kids might? How does that work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not give up custody.

You either stay married, or find a new job.

Or just separate.

He would initiate divorce just to put me in a position of losing one or the other if I floated this idea, 100%.

How flexible is your employer generally? They let you WFH while your H is in the military because forcing you to stay in DC would break up a family. If you divorced it would still be breaking up a family because either you or H would live apart from the kids. Would they be able to see that? I would hate fireworks my employee to stay in an abusive marriage because of a benefit I offered in good faith. Maybe they meant the benefit no longer applied if he left the service.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not give up custody.

You either stay married, or find a new job.

Or just separate.

He would initiate divorce just to put me in a position of losing one or the other if I floated this idea, 100%.

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

11 and 13. Long way to go before college.

Anonymous wrote:Do not give up custody.

You either stay married, or find a new job.

Or just separate.

How old are your kids?

Anonymous wrote:What does your husband say?

He's emotionally abusive and doesn't know I want to leave.

Do not give up custody.

You either stay married, or find a new job.

I would think that a custody agreement tying you to an area would be considered the same as following your spouse around from the employer POV, but who knows with these verbal agreements.

What does your husband say?

Anonymous wrote:Federal government or?

Private employer.

You can try talking to your employer again.

Federal government or?

Military spouse who wants to file for divorce here. The only thing that's keeping me from doing so is that my ability to WFH was verbally contingent on my spouse's continued active service - i.e., I can WFH as long as I'm following them around. We have two children that it would be kill me to be separated from, but as I cannot find a job in our current location, It seems my options are 1) give up custody and move back to DC where my job is or 2) remain married so I can remain with them.

I'm between a rock and a hard place, aren't I?