It's weird that he declines when you initiate. Any chance he doesn't want to be out in public?

Does he have kids?

It's weird that he did a bait and switch with the dates since it's not really who he is or what he likes to do.

OP here. There was a typo in my original post. It should read “he LIKED to plan lavish dates”.

I am happy to pay for some dates which is why I’ve been inflating dates, but he declines going on them.

I am very giving in our relationship in general. I treat him wonderfully and spoil him with whatever he wants. The things he likes to receive do not tend to be material in nature. He likes to be cooked for, so i make him elaborate meals regularly, catered to sexually which I’m always up for, and he likes for me to participate with him in his hobbies which I never turn down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s landed the prize, now he thinks he doesn’t have to work anymore.

OP here. I sense this a little bit. But I’d say the way he works for the prize has changed over time. He doesn’t plan the dates but he does do the dishes, is a good listener when I have a bad day, showers me with attentive sex, is kind to my friends and family, etc. He is honestly a great guy. So I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m being high maintenance for wanting the dates back?

No, you are not high maintenance for wanting to feel appreciated, see romantic gestures in your partner etc. This is what keeps the relationship going long term, when people try to make special things for each other. You can enjoy watching TV on a couch, and nice conversations. But the real life is way bigger than that, external things like dates, quality time together, couple friends, travel do create a different environment for relationship. You just seem craving to explore and see of the world than your partner.

You are not a good match

OP wants the lavish dates back. That's the definition of high maintenance. My husband takes me to expensive dates, but I also do my part by paying for dates I start. SOunds like OP wants to take without giving anything in return.

"He HAD to plan" elaborate dates?
Are you serious?
Day to day life, showing love by doing is lasting love.
Being an event planner is not necessarily that.
Do you go outside of the dwelling together for walks, meals, etc.?

Tell him that part of a partnership for you is going out on the town!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s landed the prize, now he thinks he doesn’t have to work anymore.

OP here. I sense this a little bit. But I’d say the way he works for the prize has changed over time. He doesn’t plan the dates but he does do the dishes, is a good listener when I have a bad day, showers me with attentive sex, is kind to my friends and family, etc. He is honestly a great guy. So I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m being high maintenance for wanting the dates back?

No, you are not high maintenance for wanting to feel appreciated, see romantic gestures in your partner etc. This is what keeps the relationship going long term, when people try to make special things for each other. You can enjoy watching TV on a couch, and nice conversations. But the real life is way bigger than that, external things like dates, quality time together, couple friends, travel do create a different environment for relationship. You just seem craving to explore and see of the world than your partner.

You are not a good match

Anonymous wrote:He’s landed the prize, now he thinks he doesn’t have to work anymore.

OP here. I sense this a little bit. But I’d say the way he works for the prize has changed over time. He doesn’t plan the dates but he does do the dishes, is a good listener when I have a bad day, showers me with attentive sex, is kind to my friends and family, etc. He is honestly a great guy. So I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m being high maintenance for wanting the dates back?

Anonymous wrote:The honeymoon is over, this is who he really is.

Yup, this.

The honeymoon is over, this is who he really is.

He has bagged the deer and thinks he does not have to work anymore.

Mention you want dates back.

He’s landed the prize, now he thinks he doesn’t have to work anymore.

Did you ever plan lavish dates in your early days of dating?

I’m totally in love with my boyfriend. We’ve been together little under a year. We enjoy on another tremendously and just fit well.

In the beginning of dating he had to plan lavish dates on a weekly basis. they were really nice and would pick up on little things I’d mentioned that I like here and there. This lasted for 3-4 months and then ended. He doesn’t really take me out anymore. I still enjoy the time we spend together, but I’d like to go on dates that he plans sometimes (say 1-2 times a month).

I’ve offered to take us out a few times to try and spice it back up but each time he has declined. Would you mention that you want the dates back? Or just let it be? I truly do enjoy our regular day to day time.