Anonymous wrote:You’re both wrong

You did give him an ultimatum, which is actually fine when the next step is living together. If he can’t commit before living together you should not cohabit, full stop. It’s much more difficult to break up once living together.

You were wrong not to tell him you were applying for jobs so you’re not fully committed either

Classic case of you actually taking steps to break up with him without actually doing so, which is cowardly

OP here. The jobs are still in the same area and wouldn’t change much. I didn’t want to say anything because I wasn’t sure if I would hear back from any places.

He would be moving in with me and I want a commitment. My last relationship ended because I never got any commitment after 2.5 years of being together and him living with me. I don’t want to go through that again.

We both have pasts but I’m very much committed to him and see a future with him. I’m not his crazy ex and won’t hurt him like she did.

OP here. It’s crazy because I’ve known him for 3 years now and he is always the most calm and collected man I know. Our communication skills have been top notch until this. I know I hurt when I didn’t tell him I was looking for other jobs but I don’t what to say anything until I got a new job.

His ex did a number on him. They got engaged at her insistence and then she cheated and sold the engagement ring. He came home from a business trip and she had moved out and then blocked him. This was years ago but I think he’s still scarred by it.

You’re both wrong

You did give him an ultimatum, which is actually fine when the next step is living together. If he can’t commit before living together you should not cohabit, full stop. It’s much more difficult to break up once living together.

You were wrong not to tell him you were applying for jobs so you’re not fully committed either

Classic case of you actually taking steps to break up with him without actually doing so, which is cowardly

The guy is not your guy. He isn’t ready for the level of commitment you want - full stop. Even worse, when you tell him what you want he turns it around complaining about “ultimatums.” And then, instead of having an adult conversation, he shows up at your house wasted. You would be a fool to think his “love” for you will overcome this hot mess.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have no kids and are not married. We have been friends for 2 years and dating for a little under 1 year. We broke up because he wants to move in together and I told him I needed more of a commitment before living together. He said he felt I gave him an ultimatum. This was after another fight we had where I didn’t tell him I was applying to other jobs with the hopes to leave my job. He accused me of not being open with him on important issues.

Sounds like you guys aren’t a match.

Bootie call. Classic bootie call.

End the drama. Don’t engage.

I'd move on, OP. More drama is a waste of your time. The showing up drunk only works in movies.

Anonymous wrote:Did he slip out in the early morning or did he have a conversation with you? If he slipped out, he totally regrets it. Red flags all over the place.

OP here. He apologized, we ate breakfast, and I told him I needed some time and I would call reach out when I was ready.

OP here. We have no kids and are not married. We have been friends for 2 years and dating for a little under 1 year. We broke up because he wants to move in together and I told him I needed more of a commitment before living together. He said he felt I gave him an ultimatum. This was after another fight we had where I didn’t tell him I was applying to other jobs with the hopes to leave my job. He accused me of not being open with him on important issues.

Why did he break up w you?

Also, almost no contact isn’t a thing.

Did he slip out in the early morning or did he have a conversation with you? If he slipped out, he totally regrets it. Red flags all over the place.

Do you have kids?

See what happens when he’s not drunk

He was drunk. It’s not that perplexing. Move on.

My “ ex” and I got into a pretty big fight last weekend and decided to take a break. We have gone almost full no contact except little messages here and there from him until late last night when he showed up at my door intoxicated saying he messed up and that he doesn’t want to breakup. It was late so he slept in the guest bedroom and then left early this morning. He initiated the break, not me. I’m perplexed and confused by his behavior. His once level headed composure seemed to go out the window last night. He also never drinks much. I’m in love with him but my friend said his behavior is a red flag and to not take him back. Is it or would I be stupid to mend things?