We just finished that book as well. So good and eye opening. Definitely worth the read.

I hate the phone - hate it. Hate social media with a passion. We waited until 8th and did everything we were supposed to do in terms of limiting access to devices and turning off wifi at night. Now, in 9th grade, one kid has fallen into the social media rabbit hole. If social media disappeared tomorrow, I would not care at all.

Anonymous wrote:Oh--this is up my alley! Thanks for the rec.

My spouse and I (Gen Xers) with 16 and 18 year old boys lament the iphone/SM every day. We try to instill limits and the kids have to plug in phones/laptops in kitchen at night. But--MAN--the draw to that phone and SM and gaming is intense. We do detoxes and go e-free every once in awhile. My default when bored is aimlessly scrolling on my iphone too--I need to stop. I do agree the days I barely look at my phone I am so much happier.

I am really sad my kids never experienced the freedom we had most of our lives never being tied to a phone. Just living unattached and nobody knowing where you were or expecting a text back, etc.

+1 we gave it to the kids in limited doses -- unplugged sleepaway camps, a family trip to a place without wifi/cell service most summers - but it's really hard to resist the pull. Fortunately, DD (now 19) on her own chose to avoid social media and is better off for it. But in the last couple years IMO she's fallen into the youtube rabbit hole.

Anonymous wrote:Is this the book by Haidt?

yes

Interesting. My tween is the least anxious person I know. Her 10 yo brother, not on social media, is very anxious.

Oh--this is up my alley! Thanks for the rec.

My spouse and I (Gen Xers) with 16 and 18 year old boys lament the iphone/SM every day. We try to instill limits and the kids have to plug in phones/laptops in kitchen at night. But--MAN--the draw to that phone and SM and gaming is intense. We do detoxes and go e-free every once in awhile. My default when bored is aimlessly scrolling on my iphone too--I need to stop. I do agree the days I barely look at my phone I am so much happier.

I am really sad my kids never experienced the freedom we had most of our lives never being tied to a phone. Just living unattached and nobody knowing where you were or expecting a text back, etc.

This book and another called Stolen Focus have been really eye opening about the impact of the iPhone/screens/social media in our world. I would have like to have read more about the iPhones impact on kids’ attention span not just anxiety/depression because I do think it’s related. A must read book IMO.

Anonymous wrote:Is it just documenting the phenomenon or does it have any actionable advice? I feel like all of these things basically just say “limit social media” but that’s so hard when that also means limiting your kids’ social interactions because that’s how everyone else at their school communicates. (I found limiting SM had mixed effects for my oldest. After some tough years she found her own balance but it’s really not possible for them to be fully off SM since that’s how even things like student government and their sports teams communicate).

A lot of ideas but this is the takeaway thus far for me (I’m not finished )

1- no smart phones before high school/14 or older

2- phone-free schools - even in high schools phones must be locked/stored away or confiscated

3- no social media before 16 ( Get through crucial brain development and puberty first)

4- give more independence and allow more risk taking in order to become confident self governing adults

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just documenting the phenomenon or does it have any actionable advice? I feel like all of these things basically just say “limit social media” but that’s so hard when that also means limiting your kids’ social interactions because that’s how everyone else at their school communicates. (I found limiting SM had mixed effects for my oldest. After some tough years she found her own balance but it’s really not possible for them to be fully off SM since that’s how even things like student government and their sports teams


communicate).

Yeah I agree that it's going to be nearly impossible to put the toothpaste back in the tube on this one.

Another eye-opening book, related to an anxious generation, is Abigail Shrier's "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up." She's been on a lot of podcasts discussing it.

The books has lots of actionable recommendations. And it’s not too late. And he has good data that backs up the causes of anxiety, depression etc in teens. It’s fascinating. And giving kids more independence in the real world and less in a virtual world would go a long way to treating this mental health epidemic in young people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just documenting the phenomenon or does it have any actionable advice? I feel like all of these things basically just say “limit social media” but that’s so hard when that also means limiting your kids’ social interactions because that’s how everyone else at their school communicates. (I found limiting SM had mixed effects for my oldest. After some tough years she found her own balance but it’s really not possible for them to be fully off SM since that’s how even things like student government and their sports teams communicate).

Yeah I agree that it's going to be nearly impossible to put the toothpaste back in the tube on this one.

Another eye-opening book, related to an anxious generation, is Abigail Shrier's "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up." She's been on a lot of podcasts discussing it.

I haven’t read her book but watched her on book tv on cspan. She interesting but clearly has an agenda. I got the impression that she would only use data that matched her arguments. Her “independent researcher” title also seemed dubious to me but I have spent many years around academics. Her book is on my list to read though.

Is this the book by Haidt?

Anonymous wrote:Is it just documenting the phenomenon or does it have any actionable advice? I feel like all of these things basically just say “limit social media” but that’s so hard when that also means limiting your kids’ social interactions because that’s how everyone else at their school communicates. (I found limiting SM had mixed effects for my oldest. After some tough years she found her own balance but it’s really not possible for them to be fully off SM since that’s how even things like student government and their sports teams communicate).

Yeah I agree that it's going to be nearly impossible to put the toothpaste back in the tube on this one.

Another eye-opening book, related to an anxious generation, is Abigail Shrier's "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up." She's been on a lot of podcasts discussing it.

Is it just documenting the phenomenon or does it have any actionable advice? I feel like all of these things basically just say “limit social media” but that’s so hard when that also means limiting your kids’ social interactions because that’s how everyone else at their school communicates. (I found limiting SM had mixed effects for my oldest. After some tough years she found her own balance but it’s really not possible for them to be fully off SM since that’s how even things like student government and their sports teams communicate).

My therapist mentioned it to me. I'm interested in it and am on the wait list at the library.

I am reading this book now and it’s specifically about tweens/teena and social media. It is so eye opening. And goes a long way to explain the sig ifica t rise in ancxiety and depression in teens.

I would love to discuss this book! Not posting in the book forum because it very much geared toward parents of tweens and teens.

Dr Becky also did a podcast episode with the writer.