Anonymous wrote:Fine for him to say. He's a man. He doesn't have to birth them, or probably do most of the childcare.

No. The kids do most of it. So gross.

Fine for him to say. He's a man. He doesn't have to birth them, or probably do most of the childcare.

Anonymous wrote:Mom of five here. It is 100 percent easier to have 5 kids than 3. I found 3 the absolute hardest. Now my older kids entertain and help with the younger kids. The year my third was born was the least happy year of my life. I am now the happiest I have ever been since becoming a mom with my fifth almost turning one. I am way more relaxed and it is 100 percent true that older kids help so much. For example on Saturday mornings I will wake up and my 12 year old has changed my toddler's diaper, turned on his cartoon, and gotten him a bowl of cheerios while I lounge in bed with DH.

What I am looking forward to is parents of 2-3 kids trying to explain why those of us with 4+ don't actually know what we are talking about when we say it's easier and we are happier than you all.

Of course parenting is easier if you check out and dgaf. Not really a flex, but at least 30% self-aware, and that's got to count for . . . something.

Parentification is a terrible thing to do to a child

I have a singleton and hate AEI but I actually found it an interesting article.

Anonymous wrote:tbh nothing makes my vagina seal itself more than thinking about AEI.

Agree. Anything related to AEI…no thanks.

Anonymous wrote:Mom of five here. It is 100 percent easier to have 5 kids than 3. I found 3 the absolute hardest. Now my older kids entertain and help with the younger kids. The year my third was born was the least happy year of my life. I am now the happiest I have ever been since becoming a mom with my fifth almost turning one. I am way more relaxed and it is 100 percent true that older kids help so much. For example on Saturday mornings I will wake up and my 12 year old has changed my toddler's diaper, turned on his cartoon, and gotten him a bowl of cheerios while I lounge in bed with DH.

What I am looking forward to is parents of 2-3 kids trying to explain why those of us with 4+ don't actually know what we are talking about when we say it's easier and we are happier than you all.

It’s definitely easier to “parent” when you’re exploiting your older kids.

Anonymous wrote:tbh nothing makes my vagina seal itself more than thinking about AEI.

OP here and this is the content I was hoping for. Four stars.

Anonymous wrote:2. I know lots of people who had to parent their little siblings. Most of them don't have kids of their own, because of the psychological toll it took on their childhoods.

+1

tbh nothing makes my vagina seal itself more than thinking about AEI.

But how does the 12 yr old feel about it?

Anonymous wrote:Mom of five here. It is 100 percent easier to have 5 kids than 3. I found 3 the absolute hardest. Now my older kids entertain and help with the younger kids. The year my third was born was the least happy year of my life. I am now the happiest I have ever been since becoming a mom with my fifth almost turning one. I am way more relaxed and it is 100 percent true that older kids help so much. For example on Saturday mornings I will wake up and my 12 year old has changed my toddler's diaper, turned on his cartoon, and gotten him a bowl of cheerios while I lounge in bed with DH.

What I am looking forward to is parents of 2-3 kids trying to explain why those of us with 4+ don't actually know what we are talking about when we say it's easier and we are happier than you all.

Oh and PS my career is on fire.

Mom of five here. It is 100 percent easier to have 5 kids than 3. I found 3 the absolute hardest. Now my older kids entertain and help with the younger kids. The year my third was born was the least happy year of my life. I am now the happiest I have ever been since becoming a mom with my fifth almost turning one. I am way more relaxed and it is 100 percent true that older kids help so much. For example on Saturday mornings I will wake up and my 12 year old has changed my toddler's diaper, turned on his cartoon, and gotten him a bowl of cheerios while I lounge in bed with DH.

What I am looking forward to is parents of 2-3 kids trying to explain why those of us with 4+ don't actually know what we are talking about when we say it's easier and we are happier than you all.

Backward reasoning.

1. The reason mothers of 4 are generally happier than mother of 3, is that they wanted a large family all along, and got it. Not that they ended up with a large family by accident, and then found out that it was "easier".

2. I know lots of people who had to parent their little siblings. Most of them don't have kids of their own, because of the psychological toll it took on their childhoods.

3. While I would have loved a large family, my oldest was born with special needs. Parenting him was a full time job, and I missed my fertile window to expand beyond 2. But I certainly wouldn't have forced my oldest kids to parent the younger kids!

4. This man is a moron.

We have to have a DCUM thread on this one, even though we all know how it's going to go. I think it might be legally required. Anyway, here's the opinion piece from Tim Carney of the American Enterprise Institute, about how having four or more kids is actually ideal and easier for parents and better for kids: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/04/30/family-size-big-families/

Key points for people to jump all over:

- Carney claims raising 4+ kids is easier than raising fewer because his older kids do a lot of the parenting

- Carney cites some stats about how kids who get more intensive parenting (he assumes only kids and kids with just one sibling get more intensive parenting as a rule) are more anxious and unhappy

- He also cites a study that claims the happiness of mothers, specifically, declines with each subsequent child up until 3 (these moms are the least happy, according to the study) but then mothers of 4 are happier than all the others. He argues this is because of the efficiency of older kids helping with parenting and a gaggle of kids being able to entertain each other, and also that having more kids forces parents to do less because they can't do intensive parenting with that many kids

And some stuff Carney does not address:

- The financial costs of raising kids

- The impact on mothers' financial well being and career prospects

- Whether more kids ever results in neglect

- How special needs kids or other unexpected family stressors might play into this dynamic

Have at it, folks.