It can jeopardize your job

A client revealed that they were swingers, she said it was fun but there were rules like they could only “play“ with another couple two times to prevent feelings from happening, that part struck me as sad in a way and there was a fair amount of team taking when she did not find the male component of the other couple as attractive as her husband found the female. That part seemed really gross to me, it’s like this weird coercion where you don’t want to be the stick in the mud when three other people are raring to go, I thought about it many times and always wondered if she just disassociated herself to get through it. In theory having sex with other fun attractive people as well as my spouse sounds so fun but finding a couple where chemistry aligns four ways evenly seems next to impossible. The two date rule really starts to make sense if the chemistry is they are and you are having the best sex of your life with this other person you’re not married to.

Seems logistically to complicated for many reasons. The biggest one would be meeting just regular, normal people. The second would be finding a couple with everyone attracted to everyone. Also finding time to devote to this as well. Seems like one of those things that sounds good in theory but the practical implementation gets messy.

Anonymous wrote:Acceptable for animals, MAYBE

I regret to inform you that human are animals.

Anonymous wrote:Of course she wasn't enthused. This means the end of a normal relationship. A family therapist once told my husband that in his experience, absolutely all couples who did that ended up divorcing.

Your wife now knows that you are cheating.

That’s dumb. My husband and I have been non-monogamous for 15 years and are still happily married.

I brought it up to DH. He thought it was hot and so did I.

Resounding NO from DH.

Anonymous wrote:I’d be devastated if my husband brought this up.

+1

I’d be devastated if my husband brought this up.

Acceptable for animals, MAYBE

You are lucky she didn't ask for divorce. I don't know why people think swinging is an acceptable thing. For most people it is not.

Nope. Sliding boards only for us. Maybe a seesaw now and then.

Of course she wasn't enthused. This means the end of a normal relationship. A family therapist once told my husband that in his experience, absolutely all couples who did that ended up divorcing.

Your wife now knows that you are cheating.

"she wasn’t too enthused…"

Well then there you have it.

Move on. Invest in your partnership. Keep it exciting.

Have you or your partner ever brought this up as an idea? I casually brought it up to mine and she wasn’t too enthused…