I don’t look scary but I think at work I do sometimes intimidate newer people by being a fast thinker/talker and I expect people to keep up.

I'm very impressive in real life, so I post on dcum to give everyone else a chance to shine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without even trying? If so, please describe how, in what situations?
Or are you the type of person everyone loves and takes care of and checks in with to make sure you are okay?
I’m the first. And pretty much whenever I walk into a room.

are you tall?

DP. I have been 5’11” since age 12. I hated my height until I got my first job.
It seemed my height gave the impression that I was more serious and responsible. I was given more opportunities than smaller women and it propelled my career. I have been told that I am intimidating.

I’m pretty sure people find me intimidating. A high school teacher told me as much 30 years ago. I’m tall, and confident, and willing to speak up when others won’t. I do care what others think but am not a people pleaser.

I learned to be very aware of how I’m coming across and work to make myself more approachable than I think I naturally am (I try to smile more, project warmth, show interest and respect for others, be self deprecating and humble) but I think I still scare some people - and honestly, that’s fine with me. Professionally, it’s served me pretty well (I’m in senior leadership) but learning to be approachable has also been important for career success.

I’m very confident and no nonsense and I think some people are intimidated by a stronger and self assured personality, but I find the people who might be intimidated over compensate by being extra nice to me. I’m not mean, I’m just not fake.

I’ve been told I’m impressive/intimidating in academic/professional settings but given that I’m an anxious mess with imposter syndrome, I kind of assume people are trying to be nice when they say that.

Anonymous wrote:The latter. I'm a slim petite woman with a naturally high-pitched, soft voice. I couldn't look intimidating if I tried.

You're like the John Mulaney of women. That guy seems like he'd cry over a stern look from a 7 yr old girl.

I've been told that I do. I'm a late 30s black woman who has RBF. I'm actually pretty nice. I don't have a mean bone in my body, but I like to be on my P's and Q's. I've been told that's intimidating for people who don't have themselves together.

The latter. I'm a slim petite woman with a naturally high-pitched, soft voice. I couldn't look intimidating if I tried.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes.

1) When my intellect is on display. I am much smarter than most.

2) When I wear my combination of fedora and steampunk mirrored sunglasses. That makes me look intimidating AF. Especially if it’s paired with a leather car coat.

M’lady

Men get intimidated when a woman is 9/10 looks and at least that smart. I'm only now, in midlife, in therapy, unlearning my tendency to smile and and speak in a high pitched voice in an attempt to convey I-am-not-a-threat.

Sometimes.

1) When my intellect is on display. I am much smarter than most.

2) When I wear my combination of fedora and steampunk mirrored sunglasses. That makes me look intimidating AF. Especially if it’s paired with a leather car coat.

Yes sometimes on intimidating, and some people. But some people recognize my kind and are used to it/understand it/are it themselves.

My DH is not intimidated by me and loves and takes care of me and makes sure I am okay. He has physically pulled me away in a couple of situations.

Anonymous wrote:Without even trying? If so, please describe how, in what situations?
Or are you the type of person everyone loves and takes care of and checks in with to make sure you are okay?
I’m the first. And pretty much whenever I walk into a room.

are you tall?

Without even trying? If so, please describe how, in what situations?
Or are you the type of person everyone loves and takes care of and checks in with to make sure you are okay?
I’m the first. And pretty much whenever I walk into a room.