Anonymous wrote:Sadly a lot of mothers prioritize their male partners and male offspring over their female offspring- we all know them in our own lives. It is hard to be the daughter of a woman who has internalized misogyny and mixes messages of love with messages that you are inferior in her eyes.

+1. This is what has prevented my mom and me from having a relationship. Thank you, PP, for stating this so clearly.

My mom is a selfish, evil witch and has never had a clue on how to parent.

Anonymous wrote:Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...DW does not have a close relationship at all with her mom and always complains about her....I don't see the same issue with men and their parents...

I love my mom but sometimes she drives me crazy because we come from a family that is not shy about giving opinions and unsolicited advice.

With your wife, if they aren’t close, what is there to complain about? I am guessing she wants her mom or that relationship to be something it’s not and is frustrated. I had one relative that I complained about (not my mom) and one response on DCUM opened my eyes to the real issue. I was disappointed the relationship wasn’t this close relationship I had envisioned and on some level felt rejected that the person couldn’t care less about building a relationship with me. Once I let go of what I thought the relationship could be, I was able to make peace with the fact we aren’t close and there really wasn’t the emotion (rejection, disappointment ) to give energy to complaining about them.

Sadly a lot of mothers prioritize their male partners and male offspring over their female offspring- we all know them in our own lives. It is hard to be the daughter of a woman who has internalized misogyny and mixes messages of love with messages that you are inferior in her eyes.

Mother-daughter relationships are hard.

But so are most relationships!

If you did a poll, I think you would find just as many difficult daughter-father relationships as daughter-mother.

I have issues with both of my parents, OP. So there’s that.

Anonymous wrote:Both of my parents dislike me but my father really hates me, so I’m not sure what you are observing OP. I don’t collect data on the posts, however.

If that’s true it is their issue and not about you. Sad though.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have good parents. It is a big source of disappointment to me in life that my mother isn’t more of a true mother. Not everyone can win the lottery. I’m trying not to repeat the pattern with my own kids, but honestly, it causes me a lot of anxiety. I second-guess myself all the time. You seem judgmental. Be kind to your wife.

Both of my parents dislike me but my father really hates me, so I’m not sure what you are observing OP. I don’t collect data on the posts, however.

I have no relation with my mom but I am so far very close to my teenager.

Man here. My wife's mother is great. My own mother is crazy.

Could it be you're just noticing it because it's unusual or seems wrong? I have a great relationship with my mother, as do most people I know. I know many people, male and female, who do not speak to their fathers at all.

I love my mother, have a great deal of respect for her, and consider her a close friend .... but even so, I have issues with her sometimes. I've even complained to DH about her a few times.

DH, on the other hand, doesn't speak to his father more than twice a year - once on his dad's birthday, and once on Father's day. FIL hasn't called DH on DH's birthday for a long as I've known him.

0 issues. Love my Mom to pieces. She is my hero and role model.
She was also a young widow and I saw her filling a mother and father role and admired her

Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...DW does not have a close relationship at all with her mom and always complains about her....I don't see the same issue with men and their parents...