Anonymous wrote:People who have abuse in childhood get addicted to cortisol and conflict gives them a cortisol dump.

They don’t know why they do it.

+1

Stay far away.

They’re called litigators.

My husband isn’t quite that bad but he does enjoy haggling with car salesmen. Sometimes it’s useful.

Trump does this.

I’m like this and I’m not sure why. I feel a lot of guilt over it.

Isn’t that all of us in DCUM?

Anonymous wrote:Is it mental illness? Maladaptive? Or normal?

I have a relative who seems to thrive on conflict and contention; no surprise they have burned a lot of bridges personally and professionally. (They are in their sixties so don’t expect this to change.) If there’s ever a situation with a difference in opinion etc they are all over it - it seems to energize and excite them.

What is this?

I have people in my family who are covert narcissists. They seem to thrive on creating chaos and then acting like a cool cucumber. It works both ways. Are these people creating chaos or responding to chaos?

Creating chaos would be having an affair. Losing a job and maybe losing a job and hiding this fact. Accidentally buying a completely different item from the store or forgetting to make dinner when they said they would. Some people have done this stuff and then apologize and take responsibility whether it's a small chaos or larger chaos. Others wait for someone else to get upset and then like to call them out for being contentious and themselves for being so reasonable.

I think most people can't help themselves - maybe they were excited once, but now it's just how their brain works.

People who have abuse in childhood get addicted to cortisol and conflict gives them a cortisol dump.

They don’t know why they do it.

As a child and teenager I loved drama. Basically my life was boring and miserable and watching other people's drama lit up the pleasure center in my brain. I literally felt a chemical change within my body. At a certain point I became saturated and stopped enjoying it.

My ex is this way. Thrives and advances themselves on conflict. I couldn’t take it.

Drama Club

I can't tell you how many people, including family, I had to quit being around. I just can't handle all that conflict plus it does nothing positive for anyone.

I don't know what it's called. But I do know my parents talked about suing people all the time in their later years. Suing or complaining, lodging formal complaints etc. I think it becomes habit forming.

My mom did a creative writing course and when she didn't like the tutor's feedback she asked me if I thought she should lodge a formal complaint against the tutor.

It was exhausting.

Attention is better than loneliness.

Women love conflict.

Is it mental illness? Maladaptive? Or normal?

I have a relative who seems to thrive on conflict and contention; no surprise they have burned a lot of bridges personally and professionally. (They are in their sixties so don’t expect this to change.) If there’s ever a situation with a difference in opinion etc they are all over it - it seems to energize and excite them.

What is this?