90% of the time it is the woman telling the man what to wear, but not in a controlling way. The situation described in the OP is just weird.

Anytime I dated a man who even hinted at that kind of coercive control, I dumped him immediately.

I watched my mother get squashed like a bug in her 47 year marriage and I wasn’t having anything like that kind of life.

That sounds super controlling and unhealthy. I would never want to be in a relationship like that.

Um. … where are you seeing these men? Bad hallmark movies or intro to porn???

I think it’s kind of hot when DH tells me what to wear when we go out.
I don’t know what the deal is with the shawl or why this woman was telling you that she didn’t like this dress. That all seems odd.

I wouldn't have a boyfriend who told me how to dress. And I sure as hell wouldn't marry a guy who did that.

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine telling my wife how to dress - I can select my own clothes.

*can barely select, haha

I can't imagine telling my wife how to dress - I can select my own clothes.

It pays to advertise

Maybe ask those women. It's not how the men and women in my circle operate. So I don't think it's universal truth

Anonymous wrote:It’s ok to have standards . If you dress to attract attention you’ll get it, negative or otherwise . You’ll more than likely get jealous females but unwanted male attention.

Plus - if you’re going to go out and dress promiscuously and disrespect your BF/Husband than you’re just seeking male validation and not caring about the relationship.

It frightens me that there are people who think this way

It’s ok to have standards . If you dress to attract attention you’ll get it, negative or otherwise . You’ll more than likely get jealous females but unwanted male attention.

Plus - if you’re going to go out and dress promiscuously and disrespect your BF/Husband than you’re just seeking male validation and not caring about the relationship.

Anonymous wrote:I think some couples are like this, but I can’t imagine it for myself. I don’t like to be treated like chattel or an object to be showcased.

+1

I think some couples are like this, but I can’t imagine it for myself. I don’t like to be treated like chattel or an object to be showcased.

If a man (whether DH or bf) tells his DW / gf how to dress or how to act, do most women comply? For example, if you two are going out to an event and the woman would rather not wear a dress that shows off too much skin but the man tells her to wear it. And once at the party, he’s telling her when to put on her shawl, when to take it off. And the woman is just doing everything he says. Is this normal?

I don’t think it is. But perhaps I’m looking at it the wrong way? Maybe she is willing to please him in that way? When I’ve seen this happen I’m always surprised because the women are usually hard working with successful careers, mothers, socially capable.