Another baffling example:

People who invite trouble.

While we’ve done multiple rounds of DEI training, someone recently opted to hold a month-long series of DEI 2.0 training sessions focused on equitable decision making in all facets of the workplace.

Here’s the thing: the staff is super-diverse by any measure and based in a super-diverse city that embraces all things DEI/liberal. Everything is working very well. In fact, it’s likely a model.

Why is it inviting trouble?

Because the sessions focus on decisions based on majority rule and ensuring all staff feel work is assigned equitably, etc.

The workplace isn’t a democracy.

And supervisors must be allowed to assign work and determine what is equitable.

Some of us were shocked this was approved by HR…and we are bracing ourselves for the fallout.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sympathetic to the scheduling issues. My vacation is determined by all sorts of factors like school breaks and the things I'm going to see, plus if I bent around every busy period at work I'd never get to go. Similarly, big work events happen when they happen and I can't plan them around every other due date and deliverable.

I don't complain about being too busy, but I will tell you I'm too busy for specific low priority things. Sometimes people working on those low priority things get mad about it.

I’m not talking about the usual holidays. Everyone realizes how the calendar and schools work.

I’m talking about people who schedule big trips when they’ll be completely offline in the weeks before a huge deadline or all hands on deck event.

Examples:

-two week safari the week before your big federal grant proposal is due.

-silent retreat off the grid the week before your annual gala.

-Even if you’re accessible in terms of location/connectivity, making a big deal about how you don’t want anyone to contact you until you are officially back online…48 hours before the team presents its new product to the decision makers…and you are running point or second chair.

In my neck of the woods, these are highly credentialed women with big jobs.

The men who drop balls and disappoint are quickly labeled as slackers and never make it into big roles.

Re: What some might deem as low priority:

I’m fed up with staff who openly complain they spent all night/all weekend completing the TPS reports or whatever when they had multiple weeks/months and countless reminders about it.

Why did you leave it to the last minute?

Why don’t you realize you look bad complaining that you were scrambling to do it the night before the deadline?

Anonymous wrote:I'm sympathetic to the scheduling issues. My vacation is determined by all sorts of factors like school breaks and the things I'm going to see, plus if I bent around every busy period at work I'd never get to go. Similarly, big work events happen when they happen and I can't plan them around every other due date and deliverable.

I don't complain about being too busy, but I will tell you I'm too busy for specific low priority things. Sometimes people working on those low priority things get mad about it.

I don’t usually find this is the case, unless someone along the line is pressuring that person to get something done. I had a boss who acted like everything was a top priority, and then failed to actually prioritize. Staff very disgruntled because the boss would push and push, but then never get to reviewing their work or making any decisions. The boss should have had all staff engaged on the ACTUAL priorities.

I'm sympathetic to the scheduling issues. My vacation is determined by all sorts of factors like school breaks and the things I'm going to see, plus if I bent around every busy period at work I'd never get to go. Similarly, big work events happen when they happen and I can't plan them around every other due date and deliverable.

I don't complain about being too busy, but I will tell you I'm too busy for specific low priority things. Sometimes people working on those low priority things get mad about it.

Wow it's all women

Anonymous wrote:This is why I go out of my way to avoid working with women who have the whole girl boss thing going on.. Or their higher ups over-assign them things so they can go, look! A woman is leading! But then most of my time is spent being their emotional support animal.

So, that’s interesting that you feel this is a phenomenon unique to women.

This is why I go out of my way to avoid working with women who have the whole girl boss thing going on.. Or their higher ups over-assign them things so they can go, look! A woman is leading! But then most of my time is spent being their emotional support animal.

I see this all the time.

My boss would just refuse to answer email for weeks. And work remote without telling any one when she’d be in or out. And wouldn’t answer Teams chats or texts or calls.

And then whined about how no one wanted to do any work in her department, but wouldn’t delegate ANY decision making to anyone.

I was her CoS and it was a nightmare. Literal nightmares about it.

People can make bad choices and act against their own interests in every aspect of life. They have since the dawn of civilization. This isn’t a new problem.

“Don’t email me, because I’m not going to read it. If you really need my help, then text me to *ask* if I am willing to help.” ---> I had a Chief of Staff tell me that last week. I wanted to claw her eyes out. No I'm not going to call you when I need things- read your email! She drops the ball nonstop on just about everything and refuses to keep a calendar of tasks and their due dates.

Oh man. Am I collateral damage you are talking about PP?

JK but yes. I have seen all of this and felt the brunt of it.

These people have confidence issues but no one ever told them that what they are doing doesn’t make them look important or competent. It makes them look weak and incompetent.

Overwhelm is a sign that you’re doing something wrong. But these kinds of people are pretty good at blaming others for their problems

You have no idea how bad it can be. I know a drama queen (#1) that was fired when another drama queen (#2) joined the team.

The issue became that the department head (#3) was also a drama queen, and wanted collateral damage for when #1 was asked to leave. So, you guessed it - a non-drama queen and dedicated, devoted, smart, level headed and professional employee was taken down, too. Because drama.

People want to feel that they are important, so they disrupt the entire team, OP. Sorry you are going through this.

I’m at a loss as to why professionals who aren’t young/new by any stretch of the imagination make bad choices that create unnecessary stress and then complain about how stressed out they are.

A few examples:

Why would you schedule a vacation in the weeks leading up to our annual event which happens at the same time each year?

Why would you schedule a big program/multi day intense meeting/whatever the week before performance evaluations must be completed for your team?

Why would you opt to work remotely the week leading up to a big event when you know someone needs to make copies, signs, etc. and stuff folders, bags, etc.?

Why do you partner with outside orgs that consistently drop balls resulting in serious issues?

Why do you continue to do certain things a certain way despite disastrous results?

Why do you think it’s wise to tell everyone how busy you are and how stressed out you are…including your peers and higher ups who are clearly busier than you are?

Why do you think it’s smart to tell people you are taking a break from email because it’s too overwhelming, and when asked by colleagues what that means you say, “Don’t email me, because I’m not going to read it. If you really need my help, then text me to *ask* if I am willing to help.”