Hi OP,

Please take a look - even a brief look - at this science ( especially the graph on page 5):

https://sapienlabs.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Sapien-Labs-Age-of-First-Smartphone-and-Mental-Wellbeing-Outcomes.pdf

I would put off getting your child a phone for as long as possible.

If they really need it, buy them a flip-phone.

NOT before high school.

And please - do not let your teens use social media. It is so toxic!

We have a sort of compromise. We turned in a very old iPhone and connected it to an Apple Watch. She uses the Apple Watch for school during 6th grade.

She can take the phone when she is going to an event where she wants to take pictures. The phone doesn’t have any apps on it. I did leave safari on so she definitely watches down YouTube and looks up lots of makeup stuff and stuff she wants off Amazon. But the phone lives in the kitchen and she doesn’t just have total access to it.

Right before 8th grade, given by their father (who I am divorced from). I'd have waited another year, but whatever.

Fall of 8th grade. Really glad we waited.

Mine got hers after 8th grade. She was probably one of 10 kids without a phone at that point.

She did have an icloud account and was able to receive text msgs on an ipad.

We talked with 1-2 other families (around 4th or 5th grade) and tried to work with others bc the peer pressure is real.

Parents have only themselves to blame for caving to peer pressure and their kids peer pressure on this one—when phones for tweens and teens are universally acknowledged to be among the most destructive forces you can introduce them to. No kid under 15 should have one IMO.

11th birthday which was the summer right before 6th grade. All her school friends -1 had a phone, not sure if IPhones or not.
We have rules around it that are clear and haven’t changed so there’s no arguing/negotiating.
No screens on school mornings. Need to maintain As and Bs to have phone after school on weekdays. No phone at the table, only one screen at a time ( so if we’re watching a movie together there is no phone at same time)
No specific time limits because we haven’t needed to yet on weekends.

Mine got one at 12, a couple months into 6th grade. It was very locked down. Our middle school starts in 6th grade and many had phones starting the year and most had them by the end of the year. A lot of kids had almost no controls on the phone too. Social media right away. No time limits. Phone in the room at night.

It sucks.

Summer before the 8th grade.

7th, planned for 6th but kid was virtual school. They are only allowed it outside the house.

8th grade

Most kids get them during sixth grade. I am dreading it!

In my experience, most got them in 7th (which is the start of MS in FCPS).

Mine just has an Apple Watch.

Crowdsourcing since DH and I don’t agree on this one. Curious when everyone’s kids got their first iPhone/smart phone, age and grade please.

My DD is going into middle school (6th grade) in the fall and is already lobbying for one. Based on her friend group, shockingly I would say around half of the kids already have iPhones in 5th grade, and according to her, every single one of her friends that doesn’t already have one is getting one for graduation. I have asked the moms of her 2 closest friends and they both said they plan to get their DDs iPhones.

I would love to wait, but I also worry about my DD being the only one of her friend group without one.