Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. I'll toss out some "real food" ideas that some on DCUM will think are horrible, but they work for a real family.

Breakfast: Oatmeal with fruit; scrambled eggs on toast; whole wheat toast with peanut butter and banana; a bowl of yogurt with nuts and fruit

Lunch: A small turkey sandwich with fruit or some raw vegetables; leftover pasta; quesadilla; soup; a slice of pizza with fruit or veggie sides

Dinner: Endless possibilities, but most meals have a protein, lots of vegetables, and carbs as a side rather than a focus.

Try to add in as many healthy foods as you can. Doesn't mean you have to take away all the unhealthy foods. If you eat a lot of processed foods, try cutting them down to a couple of times a week. Make salads fun and nourishing ... throw in nuts, or cheese, or avocado to keep people full and prevent them from seeming like a punishment.

Try to get everyone cooking ... makes you appreciate food more.

Not horrible, but there’s a lot of sugar here. I’d make small adjustments to get the sugar out and still have a fully satisfying meal

Replace all fruit with berries only - rasp, blue, black, straw
If you need something crispy with scrambled eggs, cheese crisps instead of toast
Replace peanut butter and banana (sugar and sugar) with Avocado Smash on toast
Nuts, seeds, berries and two scoops of yogurt instead of a bowl
Turkey lettuce wrap instead of sandwich
Cauliflower pizza instead of regular pizza and salad instead of fruit
Chicken Salad or Egg Salad instead of leftover pasta (don’t make so much that there are any leftovers)

I think you in particular would benefit from weigg

I’ve found that when I don’t know how much to eat, sticking to serving sizes really does work. So one slice of cheese on my sandwich, one muffin at a time, two sugar cubes in my coffee. Stick to pre-portioned food and only eat one portion per meal. You may feel unsatisfied at first but that is because you are use to overeating. As you start to eat less your hunger can adjust.

Use normal sized dinner plates for meals. Fill half with vegetables (maybe some fruit). A quarter with protein (mest, eggs, cheese), and the final quarter with carbs ( rice, dinner roll or slice of bread, 1/2 cup of pasta, serving size of crackers - typically 5). Could also eat a bowl of plain salad (literally just plain leaves of lettuce or spinach to fill your belly up more.)

Eat a plate of food like this twice a day at lunch and dinner. No snacks. Maybe one treat directly after dinner as dessert (one cookie, 1/2 cup ice cream in small bowl, one brownie).

Only drink water. No snacks after dinner.

This is how you gauge eating normally. It requires self discipline for sure.

Anonymous wrote:Since you asked for it to be explained to you like you are 5

The only things that belong on your plate are things that come from
an animal (ie fish, chicken, meat);
and from the ground or earth (nuts, seeds, fruits, vegetables, water)

If you are eating anything else, it is processed food. This includes soda, cookies, crackers (even ‘healthy’ ones) cereal, tortilla chips, ice cream, breads (even ‘healthy’ ones), yogurt, cheeses. You cannot avoid all processed foods but you can make smarter decisions about the types of cheese you select (Not Kraft Slices!), and eat Greek yogurt for example. Read the labels. The fewer the ingredients the better.

One way to shop at the grocery store it to buy from the perimeter - meat and seafood counter, fruits and veggies section, dairy section. Anything you buy in the middle aisles that is boxed, canned, frozen, packaged is processed food. And you should be eliminating them to create a healthy diet.

Good luck OP! You’re asking the right questions and learning a healthy diet takes time. Give yourself a year to re-wire your thinking, your recipes, and your family lifestyle but you can do it

I love this. What a great way to look at it, thanks PP.

PP here. Portion size is tricky. I feel like our generation was bullied into unrealistically small portion sizes. No wonder we get hungry, then binge eat.

OTOH, the restaurant industry kind of bullies into portions that are too big.

I'm petite and I exercise a lot, but I also eat a lot more than many of my friends.

So, where I suggested whole wheat toast with pb and banana above. I need two slices. I don't measure my peanut butter. I put on more than a scraping, but less than a big gob. I slice as much banana as covers the two slices. Then I sprinkle on some chia seeds. They have a few more nutrients, and they're fun to eat. With coffee, this holds me from breakfast to lunch.

Eggs will also tide me over.

If I eat a muffin (aka cake) or cold cereal for breakfast, I'm hungry in an hour. Every meal needs a little fat and protein to be truly satiating.

Anonymous wrote:Michael Pollan said it best.

Eat food (real food, food your cook from scratch not from a box. foods that are ingredients - not foods MADE from ingredients)
Mostly plants (any fruit, vegetable, bean, legume, etc no matter the "carb" level. Eat all the plants you want).
Not too much (don't eat till you're stuffed. Eat until you aren't hungry anymore)

OP, good for you for trying to make a change. Just don't be too drastic about it or beat yourself up if you slip, and you're more likely to be successful in the long run.

I agree with PP that Pollan's loose guideline is a good place to start. As you indicated you already do, I don't believe anything should be labeled "bad" or entirely off limits, just focus on getting the good stuff first.

Don't be overambitious, but sometimes I like to go to the library and pick up some cookbooks to browse for ideas. Meal planning helps me a ton, so I'll sit down on Friday night or Saturday morning and think about dinners for the week. I keep a running list of what we have in the freezer, or what the kids have requested, and try to incorporate some of that. But I'm a busy working parent, so there have to be shortcuts somewhere. I sometimes go for precut fruit or salad kits, if that's the difference between getting some produce in or not.

I grew up in a household with a mom who hated to cook and relied on a lot of processed foods, so that's what I grew up with (and still definitely enjoy on occasion). But I've realized that I feel better when I eat better, so healthier foods have become a habit.

Good luck.

I hear you, OP. I'll toss out some "real food" ideas that some on DCUM will think are horrible, but they work for a real family.

Breakfast: Oatmeal with fruit; scrambled eggs on toast; whole wheat toast with peanut butter and banana; a bowl of yogurt with nuts and fruit

Lunch: A small turkey sandwich with fruit or some raw vegetables; leftover pasta; quesadilla; soup; a slice of pizza with fruit or veggie sides

Dinner: Endless possibilities, but most meals have a protein, lots of vegetables, and carbs as a side rather than a focus.

Try to add in as many healthy foods as you can. Doesn't mean you have to take away all the unhealthy foods. If you eat a lot of processed foods, try cutting them down to a couple of times a week. Make salads fun and nourishing ... throw in nuts, or cheese, or avocado to keep people full and prevent them from seeming like a punishment.

Try to get everyone cooking ... makes you appreciate food more.

This is OP. Just want to thank everyone so far, both for the hugely helpful advice and the solidarity.

Since you asked for it to be explained to you like you are 5

The only things that belong on your plate are things that come from
an animal (ie fish, chicken, meat);
and from the ground or earth (nuts, seeds, fruits, vegetables, water)

If you are eating anything else, it is processed food. This includes soda, cookies, crackers (even ‘healthy’ ones) cereal, tortilla chips, ice cream, breads (even ‘healthy’ ones), yogurt, cheeses. You cannot avoid all processed foods but you can make smarter decisions about the types of cheese you select (Not Kraft Slices!), and eat Greek yogurt for example. Read the labels. The fewer the ingredients the better.

One way to shop at the grocery store it to buy from the perimeter - meat and seafood counter, fruits and veggies section, dairy section. Anything you buy in the middle aisles that is boxed, canned, frozen, packaged is processed food. And you should be eliminating them to create a healthy diet.

Good luck OP! You’re asking the right questions and learning a healthy diet takes time. Give yourself a year to re-wire your thinking, your recipes, and your family lifestyle but you can do it

I come from a similarly disordered eating background so no judgment here. I've been on a journey the last year or so to learn and change my eating patterns and relationship with food.

I highly recommend the PCRM podcast The Exam Room with Chuck Carroll. It is very educational, the guests are more often than not physicians and the emphasis is on a whole foods plant based diet, all or as much of the time as possible

Ditch the added sugars, ditch refined sugar except on occasion (not every day occasion, like maybe once per week), ditch all ultra processed foods most of which are laden with added sugars and/or seed oils and other unhealthful additives.

Cook and eat at home as much as possible, focusing on whole grains, legumes, vegetables, fruits, and nuts.

Read Dr. Robert Lustig's books, watch his video Sugar: The Bitter Truth on YouTube.

Food should be about fueling your body and gut/brain, not about feeding your emotions, not about a party in your mouth. You can make lovely tasty recipes using healthy foods that you can enjoy for the taste - and once your gut/brain are properly fed, you won't crave crap food the way you probably do now.

Those cravings are deep seated in an unhealthy gut/brain, and they typically cannot be overcome by 'willpower' alone - you have to heal your gut to give your brain the power to turn away from ultra processed chips, cookies, cakes, candy, ice cream and fizzy sugar laden drinks.

You can have those things sometimes - but for some people, trying to have them every day just doesn't work. It is different for each of us, but for some of us it is best to abstain from junk food except on special occasions or at most once per week - and then make those treats really count, make a super high quality cake or cookies at home or from a good bakery made with fresh ingredients, don't buy the toxic ultra processed crap from the store shelves.

It's a journey that lasts for life. You will backslide in the beginning. But you have to develop the mentality that every day is an opportunity to fuel your gut/brain - either you will fuel them with wholesome food that promotes positive mental health and learning, or you will fuel them with sludge that makes you feel sick and unhappy.

In the case of your children, there are tons of studies showing the negative connections between UPFs and sugar in the diet with all the behavioral issues and learning difficulties that are epidemic today. There are also plenty of studies that show a strong correlation between kids on a whole foods diet who consume lots of fruits and veggies and who enjoy better mental health and intellectual growth. Fuel the gut, fuel the brain.

I admire you wanting to make this change. It isn't easy especially if we have no positive model growing up. I always thought I'd be okay if I ate what tasted good and made me happy - but I finally realized those foods were at the root of nearly all my health problems, not just weight gain as I got older and couldn't tolerate them as well. I'm glad to be on this journey but often think how much better life could have been and all the health issues I could have avoided had I been taught healthy eating in childhood.

Huge kudos to you for making this effort to give your kids a better foundation. Expect some difficulty - most American kids are addicted to sugar. (Watch the Lustig video, he explains the biochemistry of it - sugar is absolutely addictive!) They will have to detox and won't feel good and will likely act out. But in the long run, you are giving them the tools to preserve their health and avoid overweight/obesity that so many American kids are struggling with earlier and earlier in their lives.

Michael Pollan said it best.

Eat food (real food, food your cook from scratch not from a box. foods that are ingredients - not foods MADE from ingredients)
Mostly plants (any fruit, vegetable, bean, legume, etc no matter the "carb" level. Eat all the plants you want).
Not too much (don't eat till you're stuffed. Eat until you aren't hungry anymore)

Following - I could have written this, OP.

More whole food, more plant based

Sorry. Explain it to me like I am 5.

I am realizing I grew up with a family with disordered eating patterns. As a child, the whole family would eat "fun foods" like pancakes and pizza for a while and then would be on whatever strict fad diet my dad was excited about at the moment. I have some food aversions from being forced to eat certain vegetables as a child. I was a thin athletic kid, but there was a lot of criticism of my body when I hit puberty and gained weight. I hid food and ate it alone in my room to avoid criticism and conflict when my parents were fighting and going through a divorce.

I am very overweight now, and basically eat whatever I want without trying to diet at all. Counting calories is maddening and I have no idea what an "appropriate portion" is.

There is so much conflicting information that seems untrustworthy/antiquated, like the food pyramid heart-healthy whole grain carb load advice, vs paleo, and then there are threads where people say eating 4 eggs for breakfast is terrible for you.

I'd like to do better for my kids, but it's hard when I feel like I don't know what is a disordered remnant from my upbringing.

Right now, I err on the side of judgment-free, enjoy food for the taste, with no foods as off limit, but trying to encourage eating the nutritious foods first, like go-ahead and have the ice cream, but first have the chicken/steak or vegetables or fruit.

Please go easy on me. I am trying to do the best I can to feed my kids well, without causing shame and damage, while still having my own hang ups to deal with.