2021 and 2023.

Gentle Parenting -- it seems like I'm a bad parent for utilizing time outs (which works very well for my first kid) and for telling my children "Good job!"

Montessori -- the obsession is wild for first time parents

Beige parenting -- We have a very neutral colored home but I love that my house is filled with bright colored toys right now. I know it's a moment in time that I will miss so dearly when we're past it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

+a million

Anonymous wrote:Kids born in 2021 and 2023.

Gentle parenting

An influencer hawking a course or guide for every niche problem, from potty training to motor development to sleep training to feeding

Woke kids books

Woke kids books are the worst. When my 3 year old started talking about race and asking questions, I went looking for some books to help with those conversations, and people kept recommending books like Anti-racist Baby, and I was like "this book is nothing, my child will not 'get' this book, this is a cash grab that has nothing to do with actually teaching kids about race or accepting differences or anything, it just exists to make UMC white people feel good about themselves." Useless.

I actually like gentle parenting though. I follow an instagram influencer named Destini Davis who is legitimately helpful and a big proponent of gentle parenting. She's not super touchy feely and her posts are do not feature soft focus and neutral color palettes -- she's just a real person with a young kid and a teen who offers insight into how to set boundaries and get your kids to do things without yelling, hitting, and losing it. I like it! If that's gentle parenting, I am 100% on board. Some of the other GP folks are very irritating though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

Kids born in 2021 and 2023.

Gentle parenting

An influencer hawking a course or guide for every niche problem, from potty training to motor development to sleep training to feeding

Woke kids books

This is a fun post! My kids were 2011, 2013, and 2019. My 2011 kid is the one for whom I spent the most time on message boards, since I had no experience with babies. There was definitely a divide between parents on their 2nd-3rd kids, who were still a bit more old school, and the new moms who were very dogmatic about breastfeeding, etc. With my first, I didn't even have a smart phone, so it's funny to think how technology was just not a part of her life till she was 2-3 yo.

I did not keep up with the newer trends by the time my 3rd came along, but it seems like moms now are much more critical of sleep training and more cautious about baby sleep positions. (My older two slept in rock n play type things with their pediatricians' blessings.) It also seems like today's parents are more cautious about rear facing in the car seat until they are like 8 years old. I have noticed kids seem to be younger and younger when they get personal electronics.

Two kids, 2021 & 2023, and top two annoyances already mentioned

Gentle parenting! Especially all the gifters who will take your money for overpriced consultations and scripts of what you should say to your kid. These scrips are usually waaaaay too long & ridiculous to have an impact. The Visible Child fb group is, imo, the worst embodiment of this outlook.

The surface level conversation about autism and neurodivergance that celebrates the quirky stuff but doesn't grapple with the reality.

This is fascinating. Bring it on.

As an educator, I am thinking about packing up my calculator the day the Gently Parented Kids come into my classroom.

I had a baby in 2015 and was TTC for 2 years before that, so a lot of your stuff from 2010-2012 was still true in 2015. I don’t think my friend group ever liked the indoor play areas or trampoline parks though, which was annoying for me because I love a good grimy indoor playground.

Then I had a baby in 2019. By that point the exclusive breastfeeding at all costs stuff had really started to die down. One thing that is different now is who is anti-vaccine and pro “natural health.” In 2010 I’m sure it was all the very liberal in liberal areas. By 2015 the hard right conservatives had started to pick up on it but the liberals hasn’t abandoned it yet. COVID was the thing that pushed all the liberals to the pro vaccine “science” camp. I’m pretty sure the anti-vax liberals are now conservatives with mostly conservative political views. It’s been a big change.

I also found that the emphasis on cloth diapers and buying a huge collection of baby wraps/carriers died down around 2015-2016. It seemed like those went along with the huge emphasis on breastfeeding.

The eye roll inducing trends now are:

huge emphasis on “gentle parenting” even though it clearly does not work at all for some kids. No time outs, lots of “ohhhh I see you are upset little Larlo, you’re really screaming and crying and kicking a lot.”

Autism awareness/acceptance, which is great, don’t get me wrong. My 2019 toddler has ASD but he was diagnosed by an actual doctor at age almost 3 with level 2 ASD. The eye rolls come about with the endless reels of little kids being basically normal, hyper little kids with a whole long caption about their autism and they are so smart and special! And the kids who are lower functioning are still looked down upon or forgotten about.

Beige and neutrals everything, millennial parents hate colorful kids stuff and plastic toys. Also, no artificial scents, dyes/colors, no plastic, organic even if it’s not proven to be any better. Thats the new conspicuous consumption. Everything is labeled as “Montessori” too.

Bluey, which is clearly enjoyed more by parents than kids. My kids like SpongeBob and my younger one likes Paw Patrol. The classics!

The competition now is about who’s kid started swimming and/or on the swim team the youngest, who started riding a 2 wheel bike the youngest, who was reading the youngest and the hardest books and who’s doing advanced math in 2nd grade, in some areas with ES kids who’s on the best travel soccer team.

Parents looking for a quandrilingual montessori outdoor daycare. I just want quality care close to my house!

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Anonymous wrote:$200+ soccer classes for toddlers are The Worst IMO

Yes and the swim lessons for a 2 year old.
- big focus on Montessori
- solid starts and baby food
- daycare vs nanny vs SAHM judgments

• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

$200+ soccer classes for toddlers are The Worst IMO

Just curious!

My babies were born in 2010 and 2012, so I'm totally out of the loop!

For a blast from the past, here's what I remember rolling my eyes at a decade+ ago:

-New mom Facebook groups with names like "The private AWESOME mommy group <3"
-Packs of moms in yoga pants doing exercises with their strollers at places like the Mosaic District
-Strollers as status symbols (suspect this is still the name!)
-Grimey mall play areas being the #1 toddler attraction
-Mommy and me movies where people still shushed you if your baby was being loud
-Unsolicited advice from strangers at Target about your feeding choice, regardless of whether it was bottle or breast
-Competition from other moms about who could breastfeed the longest (especially without supplementing)