Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 20:14     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We pay for everything for our teens. It used to be allowance when they were younger but now we just give them money. They help out around the house when asked but $ isn't tied to anything in particular.

We're down to only one kid at home (16) and it works for us.


How do you give money though, logistically and what limits?


They have a credit card on our account and apple pay. They ask for cash when they need it (rarely). Honestly, no limits but they don't spend a lot. I think their credit card may have a $300 limit but they never even come close unless they're buying something big which we know about-these are more the ones in college. HS kid has very few charges.


What’s not a lot and what is your hhi? Idk that I would feel comfortable with that tbh, they like clothes.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 20:10     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We pay for everything for our teens. It used to be allowance when they were younger but now we just give them money. They help out around the house when asked but $ isn't tied to anything in particular.

We're down to only one kid at home (16) and it works for us.


How do you give money though, logistically and what limits?


They have a credit card on our account and apple pay. They ask for cash when they need it (rarely). Honestly, no limits but they don't spend a lot. I think their credit card may have a $300 limit but they never even come close unless they're buying something big which we know about-these are more the ones in college. HS kid has very few charges.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 20:07     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids don't have cars. If they use my car to run errands for the family or their health Dh and I pay for gas. If they want to borrow the car to do something with friends they know to fill back up the tank before they bring the car home (or, if it's not safe, by 9am the following morning).

We will buy them two pairs of shoes each year, but spend no more than $75 on each pair. If they want more expensive shoes they have to toss money in the pot.

If they go on a fun outing with the family, we pay. If they are going out with friends they pay.


OP here and he doesn't have a car per se. I wah so he and dd take the car to school, sports...It's my car I don't drive bc I am working with no commute. I don't mind paying for gas. My issue is how ungrateful he was. It all started so stupidly: he said there was no more protein powder. I tell him just tell me which and I will buy it. He goes "well I usually pay for my own food." It's ridiculous because I obviously buy groceries for the family, I just don't know which powder he wants. So basically he just wanted to get in a dig about how he pays for food out with friends. Then I say I pay for a lot and I would have paid for the powder. He goes "well yeah, all parents buy food for their family, it's normal." As if I were saying otherwise!! I am just beside myself at how bratty he was.


He either needs to save 100% of his money for college costs or spend his so you can save. Not one or the other.


But he won’t pay for college. We’re still going to pay for things then.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 20:06     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Anonymous wrote:We pay for everything for our teens. It used to be allowance when they were younger but now we just give them money. They help out around the house when asked but $ isn't tied to anything in particular.

We're down to only one kid at home (16) and it works for us.


How do you give money though, logistically and what limits?
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 20:05     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids don't have cars. If they use my car to run errands for the family or their health Dh and I pay for gas. If they want to borrow the car to do something with friends they know to fill back up the tank before they bring the car home (or, if it's not safe, by 9am the following morning).

We will buy them two pairs of shoes each year, but spend no more than $75 on each pair. If they want more expensive shoes they have to toss money in the pot.

If they go on a fun outing with the family, we pay. If they are going out with friends they pay.


OP here and he doesn't have a car per se. I wah so he and dd take the car to school, sports...It's my car I don't drive bc I am working with no commute. I don't mind paying for gas. My issue is how ungrateful he was. It all started so stupidly: he said there was no more protein powder. I tell him just tell me which and I will buy it. He goes "well I usually pay for my own food." It's ridiculous because I obviously buy groceries for the family, I just don't know which powder he wants. So basically he just wanted to get in a dig about how he pays for food out with friends. Then I say I pay for a lot and I would have paid for the powder. He goes "well yeah, all parents buy food for their family, it's normal." As if I were saying otherwise!! I am just beside myself at how bratty he was.


He either needs to save 100% of his money for college costs or spend his so you can save. Not one or the other.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 20:04     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
I only let mine work summers. We will put it all in savings and pay for everything BUT mine doesn't like expensive clothing and is reasonable so it's not a big deal. Activities are the huge expense.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 19:55     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
We pay for everything for our teens. It used to be allowance when they were younger but now we just give them money. They help out around the house when asked but $ isn't tied to anything in particular.

We're down to only one kid at home (16) and it works for us.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 19:50     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Anonymous wrote:Do you mean, allowance vs. extra money from parents/family, or outside sources of money from paid work?

Most kids I know may or may not have an allowance, but their spending comes from their parents/relatives. They're busy volunteering or doing activities instead of working.

My kids don't have an allowance, and we pay for everything. Lately my husband has taken to hiring my son for heavy gardening work and car repairs. More regular chores are expected to be done for free.

That being said, my teens aren't spenders. Their social time doesn't consist of going out and paying for food and buying stuff. Usually they hang out at home (ours or their friends') and eat the host's food, play video games, goof around. For both my son and daughter.



He has an allowance, and works and we help him with some expenses. All he has to spend is really ice cream or chick fil a here and there, occasionally a bigger outing. No relatives ever give money. Both he and dd are very active socially but a lot of it is sports so free, and parties, sometimes the outings I mentioned. I feel like the allowance and money I pay here and there should be very helpful. Maybe I need to stop the allowance bc he clearly does not get that it's money to manage and save/spend.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 19:48     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids don't have cars. If they use my car to run errands for the family or their health Dh and I pay for gas. If they want to borrow the car to do something with friends they know to fill back up the tank before they bring the car home (or, if it's not safe, by 9am the following morning).

We will buy them two pairs of shoes each year, but spend no more than $75 on each pair. If they want more expensive shoes they have to toss money in the pot.

If they go on a fun outing with the family, we pay. If they are going out with friends they pay.


OP here and he doesn't have a car per se. I wah so he and dd take the car to school, sports...It's my car I don't drive bc I am working with no commute. I don't mind paying for gas. My issue is how ungrateful he was. It all started so stupidly: he said there was no more protein powder. I tell him just tell me which and I will buy it. He goes "well I usually pay for my own food." It's ridiculous because I obviously buy groceries for the family, I just don't know which powder he wants. So basically he just wanted to get in a dig about how he pays for food out with friends. Then I say I pay for a lot and I would have paid for the powder. He goes "well yeah, all parents buy food for their family, it's normal." As if I were saying otherwise!! I am just beside myself at how bratty he was.


Everyone really needs to be more clear on where their teen's spending is coming from: if it's from parents' bank account, then it doesn't matter if it's an allowance or not. It's your money anyway. If it's from a job, that's very different.

Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 19:46     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Do you mean, allowance vs. extra money from parents/family, or outside sources of money from paid work?

Most kids I know may or may not have an allowance, but their spending comes from their parents/relatives. They're busy volunteering or doing activities instead of working.

My kids don't have an allowance, and we pay for everything. Lately my husband has taken to hiring my son for heavy gardening work and car repairs. More regular chores are expected to be done for free.

That being said, my teens aren't spenders. Their social time doesn't consist of going out and paying for food and buying stuff. Usually they hang out at home (ours or their friends') and eat the host's food, play video games, goof around. For both my son and daughter.

Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 19:41     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Anonymous wrote:My kids don't have cars. If they use my car to run errands for the family or their health Dh and I pay for gas. If they want to borrow the car to do something with friends they know to fill back up the tank before they bring the car home (or, if it's not safe, by 9am the following morning).

We will buy them two pairs of shoes each year, but spend no more than $75 on each pair. If they want more expensive shoes they have to toss money in the pot.

If they go on a fun outing with the family, we pay. If they are going out with friends they pay.


OP here and he doesn't have a car per se. I wah so he and dd take the car to school, sports...It's my car I don't drive bc I am working with no commute. I don't mind paying for gas. My issue is how ungrateful he was. It all started so stupidly: he said there was no more protein powder. I tell him just tell me which and I will buy it. He goes "well I usually pay for my own food." It's ridiculous because I obviously buy groceries for the family, I just don't know which powder he wants. So basically he just wanted to get in a dig about how he pays for food out with friends. Then I say I pay for a lot and I would have paid for the powder. He goes "well yeah, all parents buy food for their family, it's normal." As if I were saying otherwise!! I am just beside myself at how bratty he was.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 19:34     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
My kids don't have cars. If they use my car to run errands for the family or their health Dh and I pay for gas. If they want to borrow the car to do something with friends they know to fill back up the tank before they bring the car home (or, if it's not safe, by 9am the following morning).

We will buy them two pairs of shoes each year, but spend no more than $75 on each pair. If they want more expensive shoes they have to toss money in the pot.

If they go on a fun outing with the family, we pay. If they are going out with friends they pay.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 19:30     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Anonymous wrote:I pay for my kids' clothes, activities, and food if they're eating a meal out, but not random trips to Starbucks with friends.

See this recent thread on a related question: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1182549.page


I saw that thread and I think I responded. I actually paid for him for a day thing to a local amusement park recently, and he gets 25/week as well. I am really pissed off right now. He doesn't even know if his friends get allowances but is pissed off he doesn't have all expenses paid! It makes no sense and really hurts my feelings because I had NO money as a kid and really try my best so they have fun, without going overboard with the entitlement. And now bam, he is entitled.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 19:28     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
I pay for my kids' clothes, activities, and food if they're eating a meal out, but not random trips to Starbucks with friends.

See this recent thread on a related question: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1182549.page
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2024 19:17     Subject: Teens and fun expenses
Does your teen pay for some clothes and outings with friends? My ds (17) said all of his friends get everything paid for by parents. He's the only one who pays "most of the time". He has a job but has not worked in past two weeks. I pay for all his gas, movie tickets, sometimes outings if it is a celebratory team meal, but he does pay for extra trips to random fast food places and activities.