Yup. Agree with the gaslighting poster. He is lying and/or a red flag. After only 2 months, cut your losses and run.

1. First sex should have been at his place: why was it always at yours or hotels? It does seem from that he was sleeping with other woman and deciding between you two.
2. He’s extremely careless - I would worry for STDs big time. Are you crazy, OP? Not using protection first sex, did he show you the std test including genital herpes?

I wouldn’t trust him either and in fact I would run from this guy who doesn’t like condoms asap

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He also said he doesn't know if he wants to be with someone who would go through his stuff like that and not trust him. He said it's making him question my morals. My ex cheated on me and I told him from the start that I have trust issues. This isn't the first thing I haven't trusted. He's getting tired of it.

Gaslighting. He’s gaslighting you to make you feel like the bad person and question your sanity.

OP here. I should add he doesn't like condoms and I wasn't on BC when we met. He has been fine with unprotected sex and doesn't like pulling out. I had to take plan b and now I started the pill even though I hate the hormones. I said if I got pregnant that I would want an abortion since it's so early, he says he would be happy with me having his baby.
Just makes me more suspicious that he could be careless like this with another woman, since he seems to want a baby and doesn't care about waiting too much first. That's why it wouldn't surprise me if he needed the test for another woman.

I’d be suspicious. Not sure I’d have the balls to go through his stuff only 2 months into a relationship (except maybe doing so super secretly). That seems like a super short time to be pulling that move.

No one is exclusive exclusive after two months. If he boinked someone a week into or before your relationship, she could be two-threeish months pregnant

Going through his stuff while he's there, not a good idea. You haven't been with him long enough to actually trust him. Trust happens over time. Him expecting you to trust him is unrealistic. Red flags.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He also said he doesn't know if he wants to be with someone who would go through his stuff like that and not trust him. He said it's making him question my morals. My ex cheated on me and I told him from the start that I have trust issues. This isn't the first thing I haven't trusted. He's getting tired of it.

He is right. I think he is right to end the relationship with you. You have no right to go through his private things. He shouldn’t be under a scope of suspicion based on your previous relationship issues. He shouldn’t have to deal with your previous relationship baggage. Seek therapy to work out your issues.

I don’t think it is. He was in multiple relationships prior to you and it was unopened. Maybe his ex bought it and never mentioned it to him. Who knows.

I’m with him on the invasion of privacy. You liking through his things is a serious invasion of his privacy. If you can’t take his word at face value and trust him, you shouldn’t be with him.

I wouldn’t stay with someone who went through my stuff like that, or with someone who I didn’t trust like you clearly don’t trust him.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He also said he doesn't know if he wants to be with someone who would go through his stuff like that and not trust him. He said it's making him question my morals. My ex cheated on me and I told him from the start that I have trust issues. This isn't the first thing I haven't trusted. He's getting tired of it.

Trust your gut.

You are right to have doubts.

Did you find any other signs when you went snooping? Have you been suspicious before this incident?

I probably would have done the same as you.

OP here. He also said he doesn't know if he wants to be with someone who would go through his stuff like that and not trust him. He said it's making him question my morals. My ex cheated on me and I told him from the start that I have trust issues. This isn't the first thing I haven't trusted. He's getting tired of it.

I've been dating my exclusive boyfriend for almost two months. He moved into a new apartment earlier this year, and says he hasn't had sexual relations since his last gf who he broke up with a year ago.

It was my first time spending the night at his apartment, I've been there before but we have been spending time overnight at either my house or a few times at hotels on overnight trips. We had a great day, then at the end of the night I noticed an unopened pregnancy test sitting inside the shelf on his bedframe (like a small bookshelf on the side of headboard facing the wall) there was maybe one other item on the shelf so it was very noticable as long as you were standing off to the side of the bed.

I asked him about it, and he had no idea where it came from. He said it may have been from when he was with his child's mother years ago. (Did not mention it being for his last ex). The expiration date is Oct 2024, so it's not brand new. Pregnancy tests expire 1-3 years after the manufacturing date. He said his family helped him move and could have put it there when taking stuff out of boxes. He said he hasn't ever had another woman at his house.

He said he thought at first when I showed him it that I had brought it with me, because he had no idea it was there. After this, I went in his bathroom and looked in the drawers to see if there was a sign of another woman. He later told me that it bothered him a lot when I did that, invading his privacy. He asked how I would feel if he did that at my house. It turned into me being the one apologizing.

Was I wrong to look in my boyfriend's bathroom drawers? Is the pregnancy test suspicious?